MOM IS BEGINNING TO FORGET

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

Mom will be 90 in July, so some forgetfulness is expected. She’s living on her own with an aid 3 hrs. each morning to help w/ showers, dressing, light housekeeping. There is assisted living available on the property of the gated community.

She is mentally sharp & still pays her own bills, checkbook, banking, etc. She’s forgetting which way to turn when in the car, forgets to take cell phone (so driving w/o it in case of emergency), having difficulty remembering what she wanted to say mid-conversation, etc.

My Dad passed away before he got to this point, so no experience with this.

Opinions?

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Can someone drive her? That sounds very dangerous. Forgetfulness scares them too, and she may be relieved to turn that over. She can always "assist the driver".

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

The driving is worrisome.

If she needs assistance everyday for showering/dressing and housekeeping, maybe she shouldn't be driving.

Could the aide help with that--get your mom's errands done in the 3 hr. timeframe.

Mom could go along, too. I see plenty of older/elderly women out with their aides/caretakers at the grocery store, salons, etc.

It's great that she likes to drive, so do I! But forgetting which way to turn, could turn into forgetting what a red stop sign is for. Very dangerous for everyone at that point. And you don't want it to get to that point.

seaBreeze · ‎02-04-2014

My MIL is 90 ... sadly, she recently stopped driving for the reason you mentioned. For your mother's safety and others, perhaps it is time she has another source of transportation.

This is something most of us baby-boomers have to face if we are fortunate to still have our parent(s) ... our choices to protect are never easy when it comes from love.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@Lucky Charmwrote:
The driving is worrisome.

If she needs assistance everyday for showering/dressing and housekeeping, maybe she shouldn't be driving.

Could the aide help with that--get your mom's errands done in the 3 hr. timeframe.

Mom could go along, too. I see plenty of older/elderly women out with their aides/caretakers at the grocery store, salons, etc.

It's great that she likes to drive, so do I! But forgetting which way to turn, could turn into forgetting what a red stop sign is for. Very dangerous for everyone at that point. And you don't want it to get to that point.

@Lucky Charm Lucky for us, she started using a walker which was difficult for her to fold, lift & put in trunk. We thought, “Yay, answer to our prayers”. She was able to purchase one that’s lightweight and easier to manage. I was with her Sat. & although she can fold/put in trunk, still has to get from trunk to driver’s door w/o it. That’s what I’m using as a reason to not drive.

On Monday, she said the aid went with her to the doc. I gave her props for not driving, but she told me that aid rode along to handle walker, but Mom drove. Oh, no!

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

My mom is 91 and still lives in the 55 & over community that she and my dad moved into 25 years ago. My dad passed away in 1998 and mom is still very sharp so I don't have any experience with forgetfulness.

However my mom was in an accident two years ago. She was in a casino with a friend and a man came up from behind her, tripped while running and he fell on top of her bringing her down and breaking her neck. She's recovered somewhat but now has an aide with her 7 days a week (different one on the weekend) from 8 am to 6pm. She stopped driving and the aides now take her to where she wants & needs to go.

My brother and I have suggested assisted or independent living with some assistance but she's stubborn and doesn't want to move. As long as she has help and is still mentally sharp she will remain where she wishes.

She really only needs an aide for a few hours each day for the same reasons that your mom does ....showers, dressing, some light housekeeping and meal prep...but the aides are also companions for her. Over the years her friends have either passed or moved to assisted living. She has one close friend left.

I'm interested seeing other comments and suggestions.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@seaBreezewrote:
My MIL is 90 ... sadly, she recently stopped driving for the reason you mentioned. For your mother's safety and others, perhaps it is time she has another source of transportation.

This is something most of us baby-boomers have to face if we are fortunate to still have our parent(s) ... our choices to protect are never easy when it comes from love.

My son and I are trying to take charge of this, but she claims she’ll be a prisoner w/o her car & going where she wants. Of course, the facility offers free van service, but she refuses to wait while each person shops at their grocery store. She’d miss Bold & Beautiful. Lol

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

@haddon9wrote:
My mom is 91 and still lives in the 55 & over community that she and my dad moved into 25 years ago. My dad passed away in 1998 and mom is still very sharp so I don't have any experience with forgetfulness.

However my mom was in an accident two years ago. She was in a casino with a friend and a man came up from behind her, tripped while running and he fell on top of her bringing her down and breaking her neck. She's recovered somewhat but now has an aide with her 7 days a week (different one on the weekend) from 8 am to 6pm. She stopped driving and the aides now take her to where she wants & needs to go.

My brother and I have suggested assisted or independent living with some assistance but she's stubborn and doesn't want to move. As long as she has help and is still mentally sharp she will remain where she wishes.

She really only needs an aide for a few hours each day for the same reasons that your mom does ....showers, dressing, some light housekeeping and meal prep...but the aides are also companions for her. Over the years her friends have either passed or moved to assisted living. She has one close friend left.

I'm interested seeing other comments and suggestions.

OMGosh, Haddon! A broken neck. That's horrible. I can't even imagine.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

Would she consider Uber or Lyft?

I've never used either before, but know people who do. Doesn't seem like a taxi, which I've done that before and you feel like your in a taxi. lol

Maybe one time you're up there, call Uber and take her to lunch using that. She may like the idea of a 'personal driver'. No waiting for other shoppers and she can scurry back to see B&B.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

Yes she spent 2 weeks in rehab then an aide (a different one than who she has now) came to live with her for 9 months. I went down to Fl for a month to help her. It was awful and I felt so bad for her...what crappy luck!