MIL DIL issue - Page 8

serenity4ever · ‎11-04-2013

On 4/6/2014 Nancy Drew said:
On 4/6/2014 serenity4ever said:
On 4/6/2014 Nancy Drew said:
On 4/6/2014 serenity4ever said:
What transpired right before she called you an ice queen? What was the conversation about? Anyone who would call their MIL an ice queen must be aware that it could put quite a wedge in the relationship. ${#emotions_dlg.sad}$ How has your relationship been prior to her striking out at you?

I thought for the past ten years it was good. I am in shock. I was dropping off the 7 year old and he was telling all the fun things we did. She pulls me away into another room and that is when she said it.

She probably senses you aren't her biggest fan..... You said that you would rather have a root canal then be in the same room with her? She is boring?

Subtle nuances in behavior can speak volumes about how we really feel. For the sake of your grandchildren and son try and get along with her and spend some time with her. Who knows, you may find something you have in common besides the grandchildren. And remember your son loves her.....there is nothing that is going to alienate your son more than if you have issues with his wife. For the sake of the grands and your son, try and find a way to make the peace...

I am of the mindset once your son marries the wife is his main priority. That is the way for my husband and I. I get that. That is why I am not calling him and complain and I never would. That would only hurt my relationship with him. I have never had issues with her. I feel like she has issue with me. I thought by giving them plenty of space was the way to go. I am not the type who wants to meddle or be involved. I have my own life. Even if they have problems my go to saying is you'll figure it out. I thought I was a good MIL and this was win/win. I thought she would be one DIL who always said "she never interfered."

You probably both have different personalities and that may be why you are having some problems with her. It sounds like you are a very happy person being involved in your own activities and don't necessarily want to make her your "daughter." She may be someone who wants your affection and wants to be close to you. It doesn't make you wrong and her right, it just is a difficult predicament to be in.

Maybe you could have a heart to heart talk with her. Take her to lunch and try and get to know her better. Give her a call and ask her how she is doing......don't even mention the grands. I sense she is probably a bit lonely and she probably wants a closer relationship with you.

Do your best... You might even find out just why your son fell in love with her and you will find your relationship with your DIL will enrich your life...

Best of luck... Smile

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

On 4/6/2014 dmod nj said:
On 4/6/2014 tansy said:
On 4/6/2014 dmod nj said:
On 4/6/2014 tansy said: I am beginning to think of the mother character in Ordinary People:/

OMG, tansy, I thought the same thing.

I was reading and that was my first thought.

Cue the Twilight Theme...

${#emotions_dlg.laugh}$ or...........GMTA.

Tell me why you think that?

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

croemer · ‎03-10-2010

Hey things like this happen in life..I will not say ND is making this up. Family relationships can be very trying at times.

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**Careful... I have caps lock and I am not afraid to use it.**

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

On 4/6/2014 croemer said:
Hey things like this happen in life..I will not say ND is making this up. Family relationships can be very trying at times.

OMG! People thinking I am making this up???? I wish. If I am making this please please take me to the ER stat!

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

pistolino · ‎07-04-2011

On 4/6/2014 Nancy Drew said:
On 4/6/2014 serenity4ever said:
What transpired right before she called you an ice queen? What was the conversation about? Anyone who would call their MIL an ice queen must be aware that it could put quite a wedge in the relationship. ${#emotions_dlg.sad}$ How has your relationship been prior to her striking out at you?

I thought for the past ten years it was good. I am in shock. I was dropping off the 7 year old and he was telling all the fun things we did. She pulls me away into another room and that is when she said it.

Gahhhh....she pulled you into another room? Well, I supposed we should be glad she didn't announce it in front of everyone, but she really went overboard. She was probably sitting there ruminating about it all day.

If you like her sister, then it's just a matter of her and your personality not being the same at all and that's okay.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

GMTA? What does that mean?

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

I just thought of the Everybody Loves Raymond episode where Debra wants her own mother to be more like the meddlesome Marie. Who knew?

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

On 4/6/2014 Nancy Drew said:
On 4/6/2014 croemer said:
Hey things like this happen in life..I will not say ND is making this up. Family relationships can be very trying at times.

OMG! People thinking I am making this up???? I wish. If I am making this please please take me to the ER stat!

I don't see where anyone thinks you are making this up.