Community Chat

[Nancy Drew]

On 4/6/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:

Well here is my two cents. I don't consider babysitting while they are at the hospital with another child a huge gift. To me, that is the stuff grandparents do and actually enjoy doing.

My daughter is due this summer and I plan on spending all sorts of time with my grandson. I can't imagine feeling like it would be a huge gift for my daughter and SIL for me to watch this lil man. It will be a gift to me.

I do have a great relationship with my SIL, I lucked out. He is a good guy but even if I didn't I would make sure I did. I would spend the time I needed to to get to know him because being in my daughters life is one of my top priorities. I am very close with her and I intend on always being very close with her.

Do you ask your DIL out to go shopping or do things that interest her? Have an occasional lunch out with her. Get involved with her life.

I didn't say babysitting was a huge gift. I said not always being around pestering her a huge gift. I do like babysitting just not all the time.

[maryebrown_1]

"Ice Queen"? Yikes! That was my MIL, who didn't give a dam about her kids (DH and his 2 brothers) nor any of her her grandkids...babysitting? that was not even a thought in her universe...

It sounds like you take an interest in your DS & DIL lives but you don't "interfere". I don't understand why she seems to be such an ingrate? She should be happy that you do what you do for your grandchildren and appreciate your efforts!

[Irshgrl31201]

If she was a regular friend and she bored you I would say fine don't hang out with her. She is a family member though and you can stand to be bored a few hours a week for the sake of your son and grandchildren. At least she is a good mom and seemingly nice enough. You could have a real nightmare for a DIL and it doesn't sound like you have that at all. She wants to hang out with you. If that is the worst you can expect from her then you have it made.

[Lila Belle]

Nancy Drew, do the 2 of you ever just hang out ?

[Irshgrl31201]

On 4/6/2014 Nancy Drew said:

On 4/6/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:

Well here is my two cents. I don't consider babysitting while they are at the hospital with another child a huge gift. To me, that is the stuff grandparents do and actually enjoy doing.

My daughter is due this summer and I plan on spending all sorts of time with my grandson. I can't imagine feeling like it would be a huge gift for my daughter and SIL for me to watch this lil man. It will be a gift to me.

I do have a great relationship with my SIL, I lucked out. He is a good guy but even if I didn't I would make sure I did. I would spend the time I needed to to get to know him because being in my daughters life is one of my top priorities. I am very close with her and I intend on always being very close with her.

Do you ask your DIL out to go shopping or do things that interest her? Have an occasional lunch out with her. Get involved with her life.

I didn't say babysitting was a huge gift. I said not always being around pestering her a huge gift. I do like babysitting just not all the time.

Ok, thanks for clarifying. Sorry.

[Lucky Charm]

I get the impression you don't really want to do too much with your dil. Are you saying she's boring? I sorta get the feeling that's what you're saying.

[Irshgrl31201]

On 4/6/2014 Lila Belle said:

JMO but it seems your DIL wants a relationship with you.

Yep!

[NoelSeven]

I agree with Irsh, that's not a huge gift, that's what families do, especially for medical issues. It's not like you babysat while they took off for a weekend in Paris.

Boring or not, she's family. Do you want to spend time with your grandchildren in the future? If so, you might want to show some kind of interest in your DIL. You can always talk about the family and the kids.

[tansy]

I know my DIL would like us to move from here to where they are. She wants us there for the baby, maybe in part because our family is small as is hers. I imagine she thinks we'd take on daycare duties, too. I would go to lunch with her, Nancy, every few weeks. She will get more interesting surely as she gets older

[NoelSeven]

ps Meeting for lunch is perfect, imo. You won't have to talk much if you're both chewing or sipping, and you can always talk about the food or the next restaurant you'd like to try.