Losing A Child - Page 4

Another new name Sue · ‎03-11-2010

Heartfelt condolences to each of you who have lost a child. I cannot imagine the anguish and deep sadness you have experienced. I am so very sorry and glad you have posted here. It's good to share. Sending you each a big, long hug.

lucieinthesky · ‎01-14-2013

I have been reading each of your posts and once again must say how very sorry I am for those of you that have also lost children.

Sarapanda, thank you for the beautiful poem. In the beginning after losing my son, I, too, attended my local Compassionate Friends support meetings. It was so comforting to be among others who were going through the same thing. We want to talk about our children and as Hayfield pointed out, sometimes that makes our friends and even loved ones uncomfortable.

HiLo · ‎03-10-2010

The deepest pain I can imagine. God bless and comfort those of you who have had this experience.

Why not start a post for those who have lost children? Could be quite a comfort and encouragement to many.

SelahG · ‎11-06-2013

{{{HiLo}}}, losing a grandchild, as you have, must be equally painful---maybe more ... as you must also witness your child mourn their child. ${#emotions_dlg.crying}$

Good to see you here, my friend. I hope the winter isn't being too hard on you.

sarahpanda · ‎03-11-2010

to SelahG: In response to your comment: losing a grandchild, as you have, must be equally painful---maybe more ... as you must also witness your child mourn their child.

It brings to mind what I heard my mom say while my daughter was 'in the throes' of her disease...Mom said that it was really hard on her because she was losing her granddaughter - as well as having to watch her own daughter suffer unbelievable heartbreak. So your comment was right.

SelahG · ‎11-06-2013

On 2/21/2015 sarahpanda said:
to SelahG: In response to your comment: losing a grandchild, as you have, must be equally painful---maybe more ... as you must also witness your child mourn their child.

It brings to mind what I heard my mom say while my daughter was 'in the throes' of her disease...Mom said that it was really hard on her because she was losing her granddaughter - as well as having to watch her own daughter suffer unbelievable heartbreak. So your comment was right.

{{{sarahpanda}}} bless you and your dear mother, too. Through God's will my own mother had passed during my childhood. She did not have to witness my losses, and I'm now thankful for her sake. I had by then, my wonderful step-mother who was so helpful and comforting in her quiet, calm way. She encouraged me to just let the feelings come as they do and not try to hide from them. Or hide them from others for dread of upsetting everyone. My father tried ... in his own stoic way, too. We know, that no one can possibly fully relate unless they've been forced to endure this, yes, "unbelievable heartbreak". But God bless those who care to try to give comfort.

As incredibly hard as it was, and is; given the choice, I would choose that again over witnessing the same grief in any of my children.

I hope that you, mrniceguy and all here are having a peaceful day.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

On 2/18/2015 sarahpanda said:
My precious 7 year old daughter died almost 29 years ago from a brain tumor. She only lived 10 months after being diagnosed. I wish I knew of something to tell you to ease the pain but unfortunately, I haven't discovered it yet - and I don't believe I ever will.

Losing our son was very much like your experience. Support groups are a huge help, but it is, as you implied, a forever pain. We have known happy times again, but never the pure joy we had before losing our son. Also a life changing loss for the surviving sibling or siblings.

Cakers1 · ‎03-09-2010

My heart goes out to all of you - I know your pain but I learned not to mention my experience so I will just give all of you a major {{{hug}}}.

No matter what others think - we are not supposed to outlive our children and grandchildren. I know it happens, but it upsets the order of life, doesn't it.

${#emotions_dlg.wub}$

LurkyLoo · ‎08-01-2013

You said it, Cakers1.. I guess I will go to my grave 'feeling' that way, though I believe that I have the good Lord to thank for giving me my only child- for a time, to begin with. Now she's back with Him and I pray to join them, blessedly- according to His will and timing. Will not know true peace until that day, since I am just human and my faith is not perfect, nor my wisdom complete.

I'm not questioning His authority by any intent at all- I am well past anger, blame and all of that. It may be partly 'survivor's guilt', but also regret or grieving for what never was. My Angela would have been such a good wife, mother and school teacher had it been me who passed from ovarian cancer instead of her. Just a few short months after marrying, so no children- no grandchildren for me either. Of course, it would have been harder yet to watch her children lose her as well.. The Lord knows best. I know that and didn't need it preached to me by well-meaning fellow believers.. Yet some did. I forgive them- they know not this grief personally. I hope they never do. I think my emotional struggle with that will not end completely until we meet again, but I do carry on in faith and honor her memory.

I'm very sorry if someone here judged you for sharing your honest feelings of grief for your child. I know well the grief of losing grandparents, parents, a sibling, dear friends- even a husband (to divorce), but none of that compares to losing my child. On top of it, it also upsets the natural balance of human life as we are conditioned to accept. Major hugs to you, too, dear.

My prayers are with each of you and I thank mrniceguy for starting this thread and sharing with us his beautiful memories of his wonderful son.