Losing A Child

lucieinthesky · ‎01-14-2013

It's been almost 15 years since I lost my 26 year old son to cancer and some days it is still like it was yesterday. I guess today is one of those days and I feel compelled to talk about it. Little things trigger memories - a song he liked, a news person on tv that looks like him. I wonder what his life would have been like today. He was only 20 when diagnosed with a brain tumor and lived 6 yrs. with so many ups and downs - the surgeries and treatments that were as debilitating as the cancer itself. So, he never had children - thus, I have no grandchildren. I know there are others of you out there who have also lost children - I sometimes wonder what the odds are of parents outliving their children. I do know this for certain -- life is never the same and the sadness is always there -- just not at the surface as I feel it today.

Big Sister · ‎05-15-2010

mrniceguy, I'm glad you made the effort to reach out today and talk about your son. No matter how many years go by, it's so important to say and to hear his name. I know that with time the raw edges become less sharp. We never forget but we do adjust to the absence. It's so important for us to talk about our loved one who is now gone.

Do you feel like talking about him, what was he like, what did he love to do? I would like to know him better through you.

Lucylu12 · ‎10-12-2010

I know exactly how you feel all to well. It's been almost 23 years since we lost out 19 year old daughter. She would of been 42 Feb 12th. She was our only child, so like you we have no grandchildren. Hers was a sudden, unexpected death that has changed our lives forever. Many things trigger memories but at least now, most bring a smile through tears. Life goes on but something is always missing, isn't it.

lucieinthesky · ‎01-14-2013

On 2/15/2015 bigsister said:
mrniceguy, I'm glad you made the effort to reach out today and talk about your son. No matter how many years go by, it's so important to say and to hear his name. I know that with time the raw edges become less sharp. We never forget but we do adjust to the absence. It's so important for us to talk about our loved one who is now gone.

Do you feel like talking about him, what was he like, what did he love to do? I would like to know him better through you.

His name is Brian. He was a fun loving, smiling, always a funny story to tell you kind of guy. Very handsome and outgoing during his school years - linebacker on the football team. He loved being outdoors fishing and camping, hanging out with his buddies and had never been sick a day in his life before the cancer struck. He joined the Air Force as soon as he got out of high school and was in Officer flight training when he began to get sick. He had planned to make a career in the Air Force. During his illness, he was always the one lifting everyone up. Over the period of 6 years, he had 4 brain surgeries and of course, the usual chemo and radiation treatments. He just never let it get him down. He did not want us to worry and stayed very upbeat. He was just your all around great guy and I miss him more than I can even express.

violann · ‎03-10-2010

I am sincerely sorry for your loss.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

So very sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine your pain.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Sending you comforting hugs. You are never alone here.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

homedecor1 · ‎03-09-2010

Mrniceguy - my thoughts & prayers are with you as I know how devastating this disease is. Everyday I thank god my son (27) survived through surgeries, chemo & radiation during his 2-year battle against cancer. He is now in re-mission. I pray everyday for him & for those who have lost loved ones to this horrible disease. May you find comfort in knowing others care.