Community Chat

[deepwaterdotter]

---

@nascarfan wrote:

I never "loan" money or things, I "gift" them.  Loans rarely are repaid, so to keep peace, I find it easier just to make a gift of the request. 

---

Same for me.

[Nancy Drew]

We don't loan to our sons. We give it. If they don't have the money now where are they going to get it to pay back? We learned early with our sister in law. She never paid back a loan. Never again. You burned us.

[JeanLouiseFinch]

We don't loan money, we gift it.  

[Desertdi]

I was once asked by a relative to PAY THE DELINQUENT MORTGAGE on her SECOND HOME.

At the time, I was caring for my elderly mother during the day...and working the overnight shift for income.

I was shocked she had the nerve to ask for money.

[tansy]

Back in 1972 as a newlywed, my FIL asked my husband for a $2,000 loan. That was a HUGE amount of money back then and affected us negatively. 

One Christmas he gave us a check for the 2k in front of the family. Later I found out that told my husband to not cash the check. He never paid us back. That didn't surprise my husband but it did me.

[shy bobcat]

I have loaned and gifted money to family but, I learned some take advantage of the opportunity, especially if the money is gifted. 

[teganslaw]

It seems to me that there are a lot of dishonest people around, not paying back loans. None of my family ever asked for money, so I didn't have to deal with this. 

On a different topc, but could be related, never co-sign any loans for anybody! I wouldn't sign for anybody if asked, not even family,  I've read too many aricles where co-signers run into problems. 

[kaydee50]

No, never partly because ALL my relatives and friends are better off than I am--LOL!!

[shoekitty]

I agree with poster who mentioned about not co signing.  Co-signing is even worse than loaning money out, IMO.   Co signing is just like buying the item. The creditors do come after you if loan is defaulted, and you are required by law to pay back.  If you don't, your credit is effected. I learned this the hard way!!!  years and years ago, (at a time when I could least afford it) i co signed, the person didn't pay and I wound up having to assume pmts.    lesson learned.  I am older now, and financially comfortable.  I do give money now and then to grands, friends etc.  I don't loan it, I give it. Most of the time I am not asked, I just sense the need, and offer.    That way no one is indebted to anyone ....feelings and relationships are spared.  I most often feel good about helping.  There is nothing worse than someone not paying back a loan. Learned this lesson well 35 years ago. Caused me so much resentment, and sleepless nights.... never again. I finally just prayed and prayed to let it go...and soon it moved to memory and I forgot about it.  But from then on I learned..no loaning. Give or donate.what you feel is appropriate.  Lol

[LizzieInSRQ]

@tansy ....thats flabbergasting.    Im sorry FIL was a POS...Its such a double whammy because the negative feelings linger.