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Valued Contributor
Posts: 779
Registered: ‎02-12-2016

I did once to a friend from work, never saw that money again. I was ok with it. Only $300.00 In the 70's, that was a lot of money.  I believe it was for a security deposit on an apartment.  We lost touch after job changes.

 

Now, in my late stage of life just give to my sister for healthcare deductibles, kids for vet bills, tutoring, camp or whatever.  I bought my godchild (nephew) a truck. His was totaled, thru no fault of his own.  It was older and he keep it well maintained..  I am fortunate.  I worked most of my life and my husband I saved.  I knew how to handle $!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,335
Registered: ‎06-29-2010

No.  I didn't have the type of family that would pay back what was loaned.  

I work hard for me things/money and to just let it go to unapreciative folks was foolish on my part. 

Never Forget the Native American Indian Holocaust
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,545
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Consider it a gift from the get go, don't tell them that though.  If you do get it back that's a bonus.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,723
Registered: ‎02-02-2021

Years ago BIL borrowed from my parents...Then he left my Sister..my parents never saw the money..He had the nerve to show up at one of my parent's wake..I went over to him and said I wanted the money plus interest!! He couldn't say a word..I said it in front of a lot of people.( I have a BIG mouth..LOL).Then I promptly had him thrown out!...We paid a lot of my Sister's bills for years. for her and her kids...and that money was never expected back..It was my Sister. Never did see that money he borrowed.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,751
Registered: ‎01-09-2016

Re: Loans To Family

[ Edited ]

@on the bay wrote:

@DSD2,

What an awful time you went through! I'm so glad you made it out ok eventually.

I was thinking one thing my bil told me was I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my father. I thought very true. I loved him but there were not good times either and so I've thought about that. I think he did the best he could. 

And we can learn how not to treat people from examples that aren't always the best. You turned it aroundSmiley HappyHeart


@on the bay thank you for your unfailingly kind and compassionate response. I think (and hope) it made me a better person, stronger but not bitter. I wasn't surprised at my father, he was who he was, imperfections and all. In the end, I feel we will be judged not by our mistakes but the person we are and the kindness we showed to others. I appreciate your support my friend.Heart

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,955
Registered: ‎12-02-2013

When my younger sister was going through a divorce and moved into a small apartment, I helped her with furnishing, set up, clothing, gave her decorative wreaths that I had made for her to sell from her car trunk ( she worked in a large office complex ), and sneaked folding money into her purse.

 

No loans, just support.

 

Now she has been diagnosed with Parkinson's and dementia.  Her husband says everyday I figure into her hallucinations all the time.

 

She needs the stimulation from a Senior Center during the day while he gets some respite from caregiving but he says she stays home.  He does have someone stay overnight with her while he drives a refrigerated truck out of state a few times a week.

 

i was glad to help her in the past.

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill
Super Contributor
Posts: 338
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@nascarfan wrote:

I never "loan" money or things, I "gift" them.  Loans rarely are repaid, so to keep peace, I find it easier just to make a gift of the request. 


  I am the same, if someone in my family needs money, I just give it to them and never expect payment back.  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,484
Registered: ‎06-02-2010

I have never loaned any money to my family of origin.  We when were doing a little better financially I knew if I started it wouldn't stop.  They are takers.    

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,447
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

I have never "loaned" money to family, only given money to them with no strings attached.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,090
Registered: ‎06-15-2014

I never loan --I just flat out give. This way no misunderstandings.