Community Chat

[Cats3000]

@timeless Financial experts seem to agree:  you NEVER loan money to ANYONE, family, friends, co-workers, etc.  You're not a bank or a loan shark or a "loan arranger".  If you want to give someone money, do so with the understanding that you probably will not get the money back.

[geezerette]

Years ago, yes.  Even with it all legally documented it was a disaster and ended up with all parties never speaking again.

[jellyBEAN]

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@They CallMe MRWILKES wrote:

If done, the terms should be clearly put in writing with acknowledgement from both parties.

You want proof when you go to Judge Judy.

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JJ has so many of these cases on her show.  There is an old expression, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be".

When it comes to family, it is said, always give/gift.  Loans will only create problems if not paid back, and many people who would or need to borrrow money and cannot get it from an outside source, well, theres a reason for that.  They have bad credit.

If you do decide to "loan" family $$, if it doesn't get paid back, you have to just let it go.

[Shanus]

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@nascarfan wrote:

I never "loan" money or things, I "gift" them.  Loans rarely are repaid, so to keep peace, I find it easier just to make a gift of the request. 

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@nascarfan   I totally agree. If someone's that close to you to ask for a loan, I'd give them what they need within reason. 

[gardenman]

You can call it a loan, but you're smarter considering it a gift and assuming you'll never get it back. If it does get repaid, fantastic, if not, well, that's what you expected, so no biggie. I'm owed about five hundred dollars from a nephew who borrowed it a few years ago, and I didn't expect to ever see it again when I loaned it to him, and so far, I've been right. 

[Eileen in Virginia]

During the pandemic, we gave my nephew money to pay his rent and other expenses. He was a bartender in NYC and his bar was closed temporarily. He didn't ask for the money, but it was clear that he needed some help.

When we bought our house, my in-laws lent us money towards the down payment. My MIL worked in a savings & loan, so she and DH used the bank's calculator to develop a repayment plan that was agreeable to both parties. 

[CalminHeart]

This is a touchy subject for me. 

I've loaned money to family and never really expected it back. It is family but always pleasant when repaid.

My parents were incredible. Mom was my best friend and confidant. Dad was the most understasnding, compassionate, the best dad. I realized whenh young that most kids didn't have a dad like mine. I was truly blessed.   

Many years ago, I borrowed money from my parents. I made regular and fairly large-enough-til-it-hurt payments until it was paid back. 20 years later, he made a snide remark about it. It broke my heart. He'd never said anything like that to me in my life. That single comment still sticks with me. Weird and sad that I remember it.

But!!  He paid all my sister's bills for 15 years...new car, health & auto insurance, food, clothes, utilities, PT, assisted living, home, etc etc. He even left special fund in his will for her. He never did anything similar for his other 6 kids.  

I never said anything to Dad or that sister. I'm sad that I even thought about it when I saw this topic. 

I took care of Dad the last 7 years of his life and I'm honored to have been able to do that. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I miss him.

[Estellee]

No I never have and no one has asked me either.

[geezerette]

When it comes down to it, it really depends on the family.

In some families, whether loan or gift, the gesture can cause resentment from not only the recipient but other family members as well.

In other families, it's appreciated greatly.

[Gabidog]

Yes and never again!  I paid off my cousins mortgage as a gift, no problem with that but later I bought flooring for her kitchen because she said her son would install.  He didn't and she sold the flooring and kept the money.  Another time she called in a panic because her refrigerator quit.  She went to a local appliance store and selected one and I paid the bill since she said she would pay me back.  She never did.  When she sold her home she handed $30,0000 to her son rather than giving back $3000 to me for flooring and a fridge.  I got nothing but silence!  And the son was booked for aggravated dwi.  Tough knowing relatives can be creeps!