Community Chat

[timeless]

Have you ever loaned money/things to family?

How did it work out for you?

[MoonieBaby]

Yea. A paltry $300.00 to my sister so she could register for a class she was taking but didn’t have the cash for at the time. I was at my parents house for my 29th birthday. They gave me a check for $300, she needed it more than me at the time so I signed it over to her right there. It took her almost a year to repay me. In truth I would give anything I have to her and it’s always been that way. Sadly she doesn’t have the same love in return for me. It’s not me, she is simply a one way street. I’ve come to accept that about her. I still would fight lions for her.
…..And truthfully, would help her out that same way over and over if she needed it. She does not. She is wealthy and lives on the mainline (a very wealthy suburb of Philly).
I live in Philly. A neighborhood in fishtown. You could fit 6 of my home in hers!
If you lend money to someone it’s best to have no expectations as to how or when you will be paid back….. or you might lose your mind.

[nascarfan]

I never "loan" money or things, I "gift" them.  Loans rarely are repaid, so to keep peace, I find it easier just to make a gift of the request. 

[shoekitty]

@nascarfan   I agree.  I never loan money.  I either give it, or I don't    Loaning money, especially to family or friends is not wise.  My Mom did however loan my daughters when they were younger a bit of money. But, she took them to her bank, they wrote up a loan and payments that were binding. If you have a premier acct, the bank will do this for you.  That way my daughters made sure to pay it back .lol. 

[DSD2]

Years ago, I was in a terrible car accident that I spent many months recovering from. I had just started a new job and lost it as they could not wait for me to return. My mother had died two years previously (yesterday was the 30th anniversary of her death; I miss her so) although I know she would have helped me. We were barely scraping by and as the months passed, it was getting quite scary.

Long story short, I called my father with whom I had a complicated relationship to ask him for a loan. Although wealthy, he turned me down saying his investments weren't doing well. 

I vowed then and there that if anyone ever asked me for money, I would never turn them down. I have made it a point to help out friends when I knew they were hurting and would never make them ask.

We made it through and I never held it against my father although it did hurt. 

[on the bay]

@DSD2,

What an awful time you went through! I'm so glad you made it out ok eventually.

I was thinking one thing my bil told me was I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my father. I thought very true. I loved him but there were not good times either and so I've thought about that. I think he did the best he could. 

And we can learn how not to treat people from examples that aren't always the best. You turned it around

[drizzellla]

Have "loaned" money to family members. And as @nascarfan said - Consider them as gifts.

We loaned money to my husband's brother for a down payment on his house. And he did pay us back.

But my one brother did pay us back a small portion of what he borrowed. And we told him to forget the rest. He retired a few months ago and has health issues. 

The other brother got himself into nasty huge financial troubles. And hit everyone for large sums of money.  And to put it nicely he is a snake. And even though he is doing better and living quite comfortable now with brand new truck and renting lovely apartment on many acres - we will never see a penny of the money. Because he will never admit that he was given any money. He won't even help pay for gas when you pick him up for a long trip. Or if you go out to eat as soon as he finds out that we are treating him - he changes his order and orders the most expensive meal on the menu. I told you he was a snake.

So please if you give money/things to anyone don't expect to see it again.

[OKPrincess]

It's like going to the casino. Gamble only what you can afford to lose.

[AngelPuppy1]

I did years ago and this family member did pay me back.  At other times, when asked to give loans to various family members, I did so.  However, I then told them - don't pay me back, just consider this a gift.  I never loaned money that I couldn't afford it if they did not pay me back. I didn't want to have possible strained relations with a family member because they didn't pay me back.  

[They CallMe MRWILKES]

If done, the terms should be clearly put in writing with acknowledgement from both parties.

You want proof when you go to Judge Judy.