Community Chat

[ford1224_2]

Since high school I have been very, very shy. That shyness has always been interpreted as snobbery. I have some good friends whom I have known for many, many years, who know I am not a snob. However, it's making new friends that always trips me up. My old friends tell me it's "jealousy" on the part of others because I am still attractive. I reject that because I know many attractive people who are also popular, and I am not egotistical . . . in fact I am very much the opposite.

I recently moved into a "seniors" apartment complex. Before I moved in I made up my mind that I was going to be friendly and outgoing to everyone, get to know everyone's name, participate in activities, offer my services (I am experienced with computers). At this age I so very much wanted to start fresh and be part of this new community.

Unfortunately, I feel as though I am back in high school.

A certain "clique" took a dislike of me within several weeks (they came as a group from another senior community). I did not imagine it, it was real, and for the life of me I cannot understand what I did or said to bring that on. Still I tried. Unfortunately, in December I came down with a very bad upper respiratory infection and was unable to participate in things for a week or more. As the cold subsided I put my back and neck out from coughing (I have RA and osteoporosis) and have since been unable to participate because of that malady for several weeks. It's almost as though "fate" has said NO!! to me.

Now everyone here is far ahead of me in getting to know each other. Those who seemed were going to be friends have backed off and I feel isolated once again. As has been my tendency when I start seeing rejection, I am reluctant to try again, and my back and neck are still very painful (the doctor said it would probably be another six to eight weeks for that to heal). If I do bump into someone in the hallway, I try to explain that I have been ill, but they seem to not really care. We are all old here and I'm sure everyone has their share of aches and pains and I don't want to sound like a hypochondriac. I just don't know how to turn this back around.

Needless to say, I am very depressed and don't know what to do. I feel like a social misfit.

Thanks for any advice you can give to me.