Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,095
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

A Phd or MSW or Psychiatrist would be a much better choice

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,331
Registered: ‎02-19-2014

If my mom recommended I start seeing a life coach I'd be a little annoyed. I'm not perfect by any means, but my whole life is not a problem.


I think it'd be more tactful to pinpoint the exact area of life your son says he has the most problems with. It's simpler to find an expert on personal finances, or relationships, or nutrition, or job searching, or addiction, or time management. Then the goals are clear and it's obvious whether or not the objectives have been achieved.


And it's best to pick an advisor with some sort of qualifications and accountability to a board or credible organization of some kind. Preferably a psychologist or at the very least a certified counselor. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help with many troublesome behaviors and habits.

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,457
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

@MaryA wrote:

I'm thinking about recommending a life coach to my adult son who may benefit from one. Has anyone had experience using one or know anyone who has used one, are they worth it, and are there any bewares. Thanks.


Recommending an "expert" to assist someone is risky enough, but it's definitely inadvisable if you have no experience with either the practice (purported life coaching) or any individual coaches. To make such a recommendation to a relative means if and when it all either comes to naught or blows up, you get the fallout.


It's also expensive. I have experience with someone who advertised herself as a "certified" coach. She was very personable. But a lot of money later, I discovered that her life was a shambles and she had no more right to coach than I did. I got some useful stuff from it, but it was definitely not worth the time or money. Finding out whether the coach walks the talk can be very difficult. I lucked out, if you want to call it that, because this gal had problems with her own boundaries.


If your son is an adult and is having problems finding purpose or direction, he might benefit more from short-term, results-oriented psychotherapy that's focused on those issues. But, like coaching, the impetus to seek help needs to originate with him.

Trusted Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-29-2020

Thank you for your interesting and insightfull comments on this.

Trusted Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-29-2020

@Gorg wrote:

I think these Life Coaches have counseling degrees and decided to go this direction and specialize.  I went to a workshop at a conference years ago and went to a short session. The woman presenting was a counselor.  I would check into credentials. 


You're wrong.


You don't need to do any studying, get a degree, go to school or anything like that. As I said previously, anyone can hang out a sign that says "Life Coach" but that doesn't make them qualified to do this very important work.

Trusted Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-29-2020

@chrystaltree wrote:

It's not a real profession.  Just find a bossy person; find one  and have that person tell your son how to live his life.  I'd volunteer but I'm already bossing enough people around.  LOL


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@Mom2Dogs wrote:

@chrystaltree class mate that is a life coach makes a boat load of money...crazy that people pay a lot of money to help them with their 'journey'.  


She talked a good game in school, so I  was not terribly surprised when I saw what her profession was....she lives on the east coast in a fancy, fancy neighborhood.


apparently she knows how to part fools from their money. She must be a real smooth talker.

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Posts: 75
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Well...thanks for all the insite and input. Yes, he is the same son who the poster remembered from my previous issue with him a few years back. We are on good footing in our relationship and tells us he loves us quite often. He is 34 now, working, renting a place, and has a daughter 5+; but, was never married to the mother who is now married and has since had a son. Son has her every other weekend.  We often Facetime with son and her to keep things fresh and we visit with them when we travel to see our family. Unfortunately, he is paying steeply for child support and is barely living above his head. He's not happy with his job/pay and wants to improve his situation and really would like to own a house. Oldest brother is married, a child, and owns a beautiful home and has a very good job which we think is weighing heavy for him. Older son is concerened about brother's retirement. A few days ago he just ended up in the emergency room with an anxiety attack which medication was doctor-supplied because of previous occurrences. Advice and recommendations are not taken from any of us family members. He keeps saying he knows a path to take but does not take it...frustrating for all of us! Hence, the idea to get him help to push him into a better lifestyle.

I will attempt to encourage him to seek council. It's so very hard to watch your child suffer when you know they are capable and there can be a better way to help resolve their issues.

So this is the current story. Thanks for posting about input of life coaches, especially, if they can be expensive. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,841
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

If son wants to buy a house, then he needs a financial planner, not a life coach.




And if he isn't receptive to suggestions made by the family, not to sound snarky, but what makes you think that he would be receptive to going to see a life coach?



You have to let him find his own path, his own way, and to stumble and fall and to make mistakes.



It's hard, but making suggestions can be interpreted as nagging, not supporting, criticizing, etc.



The best thing that you can do, is keep your opinions to yourself, unless he asks for it, otherwise, just offer moral support, encouragement, be his cheerleader.





The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,605
Registered: ‎05-13-2010

@MaryA Do you think your son is depressed?  He could use an eval from a psychiatrist to check on appropriate meds.


On the other hand, it is natural that some sibs seem to print $ and others don't.  Just luck and personalities and all that.