Community Chat

[evergreen]

Life as I used to know it is done. My husband has been ill and now we find he has cancer. The doctor doesn't want to operate because of his serious health issues and has recommeded radiation. I have to agree with the doctor because I don't think he would do well with any more surgery. My husband has always been energetic and bounced back from anything that came his way and has always been the glass half full type of person. I am so worried because I have always depended on him for so many things without realizing it until he became ill this time. I can't remember the last time I put gas in my car or took out the garbage, just little things like that which he always took care of in the past. I guess we spoiled each other in many ways. I have always felt he would do better without me than I would without him. We have been together since we were 15 and are now in our early 70s. We don't have family nearby and live in a rural area and have a house and property that takes a lot of work. He would never hear of moving when he retired because he never envisioned that he wouldn't be able to take care of business. I just can't imagine life without him and have been very down although I try to be upbeat about our current situation. I am just feeling very overwhelmed and trying to get a handle on things, such as paying bills, and all the other things he did. In the past when I would tell him I wanted to do those type of things, he would joke and say that if I did all that, I wouldn't need him any more and it was his job security. It's no longer a laughing matter and I'm sorry I wasn't more insistent in the past He has lost weight and is very pale and just looks vulnerable. I really don't want to burden my family with how I am feeling because there isn't anything anyone can really do so I hope you don't mind, but it really helps to unburden here, anonymously.