Community Chat

[alicedee]

I know it is hard to let go of things that belonged to our deceased loved ones.  But as I get older, I have grown more realistic.  Most of the things that hold memories for me won't mean anything special to my kids and grands.  And that's ok...I have made sure I shared their stories...interesting and fun things about them.. with my family, and those memories are what is important.

if it were me, I would sort out 3-4 boxes of things I would display and/or use.....maybe some special dishes or baking pans, a couple Christmas ornaments, a family Bible, a few pieces of jewelry I would wear, a clock or picture that was special to me.  The rest I would donate.

My rule now is....I can have..and keep..anything I like, as long as I USE/DISPLAY and ENJOY it.  If it is just going to be stored in boxes....then no, why have it?

It is an ongoing process.  I still have a couple storage tubs I never get into....therefore, I obviously am not using and enjoying the contents.  Everyone has their own inner sense of when it is time to let go...there's no single answer.  

[ninjawife]

When my in laws were downsizing, they would drop things off from my DH' childhood that they thought my DH would want to keep.  They often did it when we weren't home and put the things in our garage.  I think they just couldn't bear to throw some of it away.  They left Christmas ornaments, years worth of school work, art projects, report cards, baby clothes etc.  I asked DH to only keep the things that were most important to him.  We took a lot of digital photos of old art projects, school work and other documents that DH could save on a usb which left us with a lot less clutter.  That and few Christmas ornaments was all we saved.

[violann]

Some bad news last night about my cherished tiny brave 92 year old Covid19 survivor. 

Cannot deal. My heart is with you, Anonymous.

[Anonymous032819]

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@violann wrote:

Some bad news last night about my cherished tiny brave 92 year old Covid19 survivor. 

Cannot deal. My heart is with you, Anonymous.

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@violann 

I'm sorry. 😢💔

[chiclets]

If these things are in a storage unit and you do not have them in your home then you really do not have them. They are already not a part of your daily life. They are a part of your memory. 

They are sentimental but they are not needed. You may want to keep them but really just think when you are not around what will happen to them.

What I have said may seem cruel and uncaring but it is not meant to be. It is a lesson about life.

They are kept in the dark and away. You need to let go and move on. Going back to go through the items may bring smiles and tears but they will not bring someone back. Those loving special people are always with you, within you heart, and that is the value of a memory, not stuff.

Growing up is a trap.

[CherryHugs]

When I lost my Mom I was the one to go thru all of her things. Thru the crying I got it done. Took many things to donate to help others.

For about 3 years I kept alot of things that were hers. But last year I decided that I needed to only keep a smaller amount of things. 

So now I have a small plastic container, around 15 x 7, with those things that mean the most to me.  Cant keep all of her things and she would want me to let go of some of it. Not that it was easy!

[RetRN]

Storage unit? Now, that would be the day. If I didn't have room for something I sure as heck wouldn't be wasting money on a storage unit. I would move to a bigger place or sell, donate, or giveaway what I didn't need or have room for. If I had family I was planning to eventually give the items to I would offer those things to them now. Turning mountains into mole hills accomplishes nothing. I'll never understand why people can't make decisions. 

[IamMrsG]

Many years ago, I learned a life freeing lesson from Peter Walsh, an expert Organizer / Declutter-er.   He was working with a celebrity who could not part with her mother’s belongings, particularly her clothes.

When they opened the many trunks she had stored away, they found so much deterioration from mold that nothing could be saved.  He rather bluntly turned to the tearful celebrity, with rag in hand, and asked, “So, is this how you honor your mother?”

He went on to explain that, rather than holding on and letting it all become a burden, selecting a scrap of dress, gown, etc., to convert to a stuffed pillow, quilting material, or framed in a shadow box arrangement, etc., would have given the article much more meaningful respect.  Shoved into a box to rot or be used as vermin nesting material, forgotten in a garage, basement or shed is not an honorable solution.  

[alicedee]

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@IamMrsG wrote:

Many years ago, I learned a life freeing lesson from Peter Walsh, an expert Organizer / Declutter-er.   He was working with a celebrity who could not part with her mother’s belongings, particularly her clothes.

When they opened the many trunks she had stored away, they found so much deterioration from mold that nothing could be saved.  He rather bluntly turned to the tearful celebrity, with rag in hand, and asked, “So, is this how you honor your mother?”

He went on to explain that, rather than holding on and letting it all become a burden, selecting a scrap of dress, gown, etc., to convert to a stuffed pillow, quilting material, or framed in a shadow box arrangement, etc., would have given the article much more meaningful respect.  Shoved into a box to rot or be used as vermin nesting material, forgotten in a garage, basement or shed is not an honorable solution.  

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I so agree with this.  My Dad loved Christmas.  When he died, one of my sibs made us all lap quilts out of some of his old flannel shirts and flannel Christmas fabric.  I use mine each year as my tree skirt.  

[reiki604]

Memories are not stored in material possesions. What's going to happen to those material things after you are gone? You're simply leaving the work for somebody else to do.