LAUGH TIME

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. Doctor: "I've found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem."

Patient: "Great, how often do I have to take it?"

Doctor: "Every two hours."

2. On a mountain trip a man falls down into a crack. His wife called after him, "Are you OK?" "Yeah." "Are you hurt?" "No" "Not a scratch? "How come?" "I'm not done falling y et-et-et-et-et-et.

3. "My wife suffers from a drinking problem"

"Oh, is she an alcoholic?"

"No, I am, but she's the one who suffers."

4. Patient: Oh doctor, I'm beginning to forget things.

Doctor: Since when have you had this condition?

Patient: What condition?

5. It has four legs and can fly, what is it?

Two birds.

6. "Daddy, what is an alcoholic?"

"Do you see those 4 trees, son?" An alcoholic would

see 8 trees." "Um Dad - there are only 2 trees."

7. "Waiter, there's a fly twitching in my soup." "And what do you expect for the price? A ballet?"

8. I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 7 years in a row.

9. Doctor: "Well Mrs. Smith, it would seem that you are pregnant." Mrs. Smith: "Wow, that's wonderful, I'm pregnant?" Doctor: "I only said it seems so. Here's our weight loss brochure."

10. Wife calls her mother: "Today I fought so much with

my husband, I'm coming to live with you again."

Mother: "No, he should pay for his mistakes, I am

coming to live with you."

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

DbinMD · ‎09-18-2019

@Lindsays Grandma

These are all great.. I like #10..

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

I like #9. My SIL, who is a "Karen" in every sense of the word, has that pregnant look, and has for 30+ years. A long time ago at a family event, a guest asked me when she was due. She was not pregnant, nor had she recently had a baby. I wonder if anyone has directly asked her that.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

SandySparkles · ‎06-13-2010

@Lindsays Grandma I can't stop laughing at #3, 6, 8 and 10.🤣🤣🤣🤣...Goodness!!!😂😂😂😂

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

tweetyblaise · ‎12-10-2018

@Puppy Lips wrote:
I like #9. My SIL, who is a "Karen" in every sense of the word, has that pregnant look, and has for 30+ years. A long time ago at a family event, a guest asked me when she was due. She was not pregnant, nor had she recently had a baby. I wonder if anyone has directly asked her that.

Oooo that could be embarrassing situation @Puppy Lips!