Community Chat

[Moonlady]

On 3/6/2014 ury said:

I'm not sure what the clinical definition of a hoarder is. Do they have to be sloppy, dirty people? A friend of many years may be an 'organized' hoarder. After her husband died at age 49, 12 years ago, she began 'collecting' things. She called herself a collector. 8 years later, and after her second marriage ended, she was up to renting 3 storage units after her basement, 2 guest bedrooms and garages filled up. She's not dirty, though. Her precious finds were stored away and tidy. I did notice she can't have one of anything. She's a collector of all things. I counted 100 lampshades while helping her with her garage sales -- imposed upon by her grown children. She had trash bags full of plastic flowers. My husband was her first husband's best friend. We helped her organize her garage sales. She had a tough time making the sale at times. I remember my husband putting his hands on her shoulders and telling her if she doesn't get rid of her 'treasures,' her grown kids are going to get upset and she'll have no choice but to start counseling. He also said her husband wouldn't want her to be buried in a senseless material world. She made thousands of dollars that summer by holding a garage sale every other week. She's slipped away from family and friends, now that she's dating a guy she met online.

Maybe Dr. Drew's definition is correct -- filling voids.

I don't know any personally, but those shows reveal people with a serious illness (especially when kids are forced to live there).

It's more than being simply sloppy or messy, too, and has nothing to do with not having enough space.

The family dynamic always seems to be the same:

-the cleanup begins, with family members assisting.

-family members often speed things up when they feel the hoarder is about to backslide.

-speeding things up results in frustration and more compulsive behavior as the hoarder senses a loss of control.

-some family members get very irritated upon finding something that was long-hidden and considered lost: often a memento or something they considered important from their youth. Then they begin to scream and lose it as they confront the hoarder.

-the hoarder puts an end to the cleanup and, often, the family members make a quick exit.

-the hoarder grabs things from the truck or pile, and insists on keeping them.

Unless the underlying issues are dealt with effectively, I fear many hoarders will simply revert back to their obsessive behavior.

[Glitter Fairy]

No one personally but a neighbor a couple houses away is one. The windows were even

covered so you couldn't see in. The SUV they had was even just full of stuff all the time.

Finally after years of this they have moved

[sidsmom]

Ever so often, you'll be driving down the highway & up beside you is a huge 1975 Impala stuffed to the gills with paper & clothes....when the space between the driver & window is filled w/ paper, you know it's bad. You can't help but stare @ that...crazy.

[I like celery]

On 3/5/2014 Mama Mia said:

There is a woman in this area who actually was on the "Hoarder" show a few years back and is doing it again.

mm

My hairstylist mentioned to me that her Dad was on an episode of Hoarders, too. She participated in the intervention part of the show. I'm not sure how we started talking about it, but it was interesting to hear. I did see the episode was online, but I didn't watch it. I think she mentioned her Dad went right back to hoarding afterwards.

[chickenbutt]

I cannot help but wonder how many of the ones on these shows go right back to it, after all those resources have been wasted on them. This is a situation where the person is not going to change until they want to change. You can keep cleaning them up, until the cows come home, and they will go right back where they were UNTIL they make the decision to turn it around.

As to the original question - To my knowledge, I don't know anybody who is a hoarder.

My husband has a good friend, an older gentleman, who he says is an 'organized hoarder'. I had offered to help him get his electronics hooked up and such, after he got out of the hospital, and my husband told me not to worry. Besides, he said, the guy doesn't let people in his house. I guess it's stacks upon stacks of boxes and it's extremely difficult to get around. Doesn't sound like the perfect scenario for a guy well into his 70s. If there is a medical emergency he's probably skrewed.

[Lacey1]

From my experience, (home health nursing)-yes, they will go right back to hoarding after the cleanup. The 'Hoarders' TV show is very cruel and exploitive, IMO. These people are usually very secluded and isolated. To be revealed on TV must be horrible for them. Unlike the TV show, many hoarders cannot pinpoint their behavior to some kind of traumatic event.

We had a very odd situation in home health. Two elderly bachelor brothers. They lived in their childhood home. The eldest brother had early Parkinson's disease. He fell in the home and couldn't get up. He pleaded with the other brother to just let him be until he could get up. The brother put a pillow under him and fed him for 8 days!!! The man developed a huge bedsore and pneumonia, and finally was transported to the hospital via ambulance.

He recuperated until it was time to go a nursing home. He refused and insisted that he go home, that his brother could take care of him. That's how my home health agency got involved. Well, this was a hoarding situation. Social service was involved and ordered the house cleaned up before this man could be brought home.

Some cleaning company came in and took nearly everything. The poor man didn't get a chance to put anything aside. He said they 'stole' money, and other valuables.

Social service finally decided the house was clean enough. They brought in a hospital bed, potty chair. The man came home and died after a week. He was so distraught when he saw what was missing, that I believed it contributed to his death. They were two very nice gentlemen that never bothered or hurt anyone. It was very sad.

I don't understand hoarding, but I've seen a lot worse situations going on behind closed doors.