Re: Kissing Children

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

@cherry wrote:
@QueenDanceALot wrote:
@cherry wrote:
There is no evidence that anything has been done to this child, except for what the OP saw

That isn't enough for me to condemn him.
We're not in court, cherry.

Just expressing our opinions about this person's behavior. Or really, about ANY person who behaves in this manner.
You could have fooled me. He has already been tried, convicted, and proven guilty, by many posting

I don't see it this way. I see many here, myself included, expressing that this man's behavior is completely unacceptable and that the mother must be notified asap. With behavior such as this, it behooves the witness to say something. "You" should never take chances in such a situation where a child's welfare may be in danger.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I said she should tell the mother. I don't agree with contacting cps first.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

While I agree that I would probably mention this to the child's Mom or Dad, there are kisses and thetre are kisses - just a quick little peck is not the same as a real kiss.So you may want to be very careful how you approach this to the child's parents. I think I would say " I have seen Bob kissing the kids on the lips - how do you feel about an adult man kissing your daughter on the lips?"

fortune · ‎03-14-2010

Thanks so much for all those who took time to voice their opinions. I did some checking on the man and he was a youth director for his church and worked at an institution for emotionally disturbed children. These two positions were before he became a stay-at-home dad. I also tried to look up the child predators in my area and you have to pay to get a list. I'll check with the police to see how to find out who's on the list in my neighborhood.

Also, I did mention in my earlier posts that the mother of my neighbor's little girl is legally blind and mostly stays in her house. Her dad works away from the home.

There are so many ramifications to identifying someone as a child predator, that I think I'll talk with someone in authority--not CPS--first. It would literally ruin everyone's life, including the little girl who is innocent in all of this.

fortune · ‎03-14-2010

@Cakers3 wrote:
The OP stated that the mother is legally blind and that nobody can go to her house because her dog will attack.

She also stated that the little girl spends all her waking hours at the neighbors.

So now my question is.............how well is this child being cared for?????????????

This story is getting weird. imo.

@Cakers3

The situation is weird, I agree. I don't know the mother that well. If I go to their door, the dog tries to attack. I think the little girl is cared for properly, that I know of.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@QueenDanceALot wrote:
@NYC Susan wrote:
@QueenDanceALot wrote:
@suzyQ3 wrote:
@QueenDanceALot wrote:
@suzyQ3 wrote:
@QueenDanceALot wrote:
@suzyQ3 wrote:
@QueenDanceALot wrote:
You can "get to know" someone and still not know that they are not who you think they are.

That is a true statement. It goes for all of us, though. We don't live in certainty, ever. The logical conclusion is that everybody is a danger to our children. The nice SAHM up the street could be dealing drugs; the dad next door could be a child predator.

All we can do is to trust our instincts and be on top of it -- without, of course, making our children overly fearful of everyone and every situation.

I am referring here to the suggestion that no father should be host to a play date. I find that a very sad indictment of men.
Oh, well, I would agree about the suggestion that no father should be host to a play date.

But to think that if you "get to know" a man who kisses your young child on the lips and then everything must be okay is just not sufficient.
Did anyone say this? I know that I didn't. In this specific case, more information is necessary.

My replies to you have to do ONLY with the idea that all men are suspect.
O.K.

I think that all grown men who kiss little girls on the mouth ARE suspect.

And yet again, I was not speaking of this incident; I was replying to a poster who said that no father should host a play date involving girls.

OKAY ALREADY

It's really not your place to chastise @suzyQ3 for clarifying. If there's a problem with her posts, the mods will take care of it.

Otherwise, she's certainly free to clarify in an effort to clear up any misunderstanding. There is supposed to be open dialogue here. None of us have the authority to shut anyone else down.
I was frustrated with what I saw as a deflection from the issue posted.

I have never interfered with anyone posting anything here, I have never even reported a single post. So I wasn't trying to "shut anyone else down"

Neither was I chastising her. But you are cetainly chastising me here.

I understand feeling frustrated. I was frustrated too, and I saw your "OKAY ALREADY" as chastising and intimidating. I think we can express ourselves and disagree here without being so heavy-handed.

Thanks for your reply. This is a very touchy subject, and it's best to keep an open dialogue going. Not only because we should all be nice to each other, but also because many good discussions have been shut down when things go sideways. I think we should all be mindful of that. JMO. I really did appreciate your reply.

fortune · ‎03-14-2010

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
@fortune wrote:
@Cakers3 wrote:
@fortune wrote:
The man across the street has two children--a girl around 9 and a boy about 7. His wife works a lot and is out of town a lot. He doesn't work and spends a lot of time with the kids when they are not in school.

The little girl plays with my neighbor (also 9 or 10), who spends all her time across the street with her little girl friend, the dad, and the little boy.

I've seen the father kiss my neighbor girl on the lips several times. Is this normal or should this indicate red flags?
@fortune Where is the mother if this little girls spends ALL her time with the dad and his children?

As disturbing as that kiss may be-it is just as disturbing that this girls mother seems to be delegating the care of her daughter to a neighbor.

And do the children of this dad ever play at another house??

Isolation of children is not necessarily bad but it can also indicate issues behind closed doors, although usually outsiders are not allowed in homes where abuse may be going on.

This is not an easy one to answer; I would seek the advice of a professional child protection worker and let them decide.

The neighbor girl spends almost all waking hours playing across the street with the man and his children. The girls are best friends. Children aren't invited into her house because she has a dog that attacks anyone not in the family!
Oh so this is back to the neighbor with the horrible dog? Is this the one you've posted threads about before?

@Lipstickdiva

Yes. My son talked to the man who owns the dog and told him I was afraid of the dog. While my son was talking to him, the dog was trying to attack my son! My son asked the man "why do you suppose she is afraid of your dog?" Duh. Anyway, I have taken the first step. The man had been warned so to speak. The next time I get charged by the dog, I'll call the animal welfare people.

Marp · ‎03-09-2010

@fortune wrote:
Thanks so much for all those who took time to voice their opinions. I did some checking on the man and he was a youth director for his church and worked at an institution for emotional disturbed children. These two positions were before he became a stay-at-home dad. I also tried to look up the child predators in my area and you have to pay to get a list. I'll check with the police to see how to find out who's on the list in my neighborhood.

Also, I did mention in my earlier posts that the mother of my neighbor's little girl is legally blind and mostly stays in her house. Her dad works away from the home.

There are so many ramifications to identifying someone as a child predator, that I think I'll talk with someone in authority--not CPS--first. It would literally ruin everyone's life, including the little girl who is innocent in all of this.

@fortune, I urge you to choose the "someone in authority" with great care and use equal care in your presentation to them. If they are a mandatory reporter they are obligated by law to report to CPS and/or LE if they think something may be wrong.

What is good for the goose today will also be good for the gander tomorrow.

fortune · ‎03-14-2010

@Marp wrote:
@fortune wrote:
Thanks so much for all those who took time to voice their opinions. I did some checking on the man and he was a youth director for his church and worked at an institution for emotional disturbed children. These two positions were before he became a stay-at-home dad. I also tried to look up the child predators in my area and you have to pay to get a list. I'll check with the police to see how to find out who's on the list in my neighborhood.

Also, I did mention in my earlier posts that the mother of my neighbor's little girl is legally blind and mostly stays in her house. Her dad works away from the home.

There are so many ramifications to identifying someone as a child predator, that I think I'll talk with someone in authority--not CPS--first. It would literally ruin everyone's life, including the little girl who is innocent in all of this.
@fortune, I urge you to choose the "someone in authority" with great care and use equal care in your presentation to them. If they are a mandatory reporter they are obligated by law to report to CPS and/or LE if they think something may be wrong.

@Marp

Thank you, Marp, for your wise advice! Sorry that some posters think there's something wrong with me, and that I should get a life!

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@cherry wrote:
We really don't know anything about this family except for an observation by a neighbor..

That's exactly right. The little girl plays at her friend's house a lot. That doesn't mean her own mother isn't caring for her at all, or is negligent, or anything else. I doubt very much that her daughter is at the friend's house literally all the time. Friends of that age - especially if they're neighbors - are together a great deal of the time. When I was that age, my best friend lived across the street and I was at her house constantly. Someone paying attention might have come to all sorts of conclusions about my own mother and my own life at home.

The mother may also be paying the man to look after her daughter. Maybe she works from home, or has a physical ailment that requires additional help with childcare, or maybe the situation is just completely different than it appears to a neighbor who really doesn't seem to know any of the people involved very well at all.

I'm not saying the OP shouldn't speak up. I think she should.