Community Chat

[fortune]

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@fortune wrote:

The man across the street has two children--a girl around 9 and a boy about 7.  His wife works a lot and is out of town a lot.  He doesn't work and spends a lot of time with the kids when they are not in school.

The little girl plays with my neighbor (also 9 or 10), who spends all her time across the street with her little girl friend, the dad, and the little boy. 

I've seen the father kiss my neighbor girl on the lips several times.  Is this normal or should this indicate red flags?

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@fortune  Where is the mother if this little girls spends ALL her time with the dad and his children?

As disturbing as that kiss may be-it is just as disturbing that this girls mother seems to be delegating the care of her daughter to a neighbor.

And do the children of this dad ever play at another house??

Isolation of children is not necessarily bad but it can also indicate issues behind closed doors, although usually outsiders are not allowed in homes where abuse may be going on.

This is not an easy one to answer;  I would seek the advice of a professional child protection worker and let them decide.

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The neighbor girl spends almost all waking hours playing across the street with the man and his children.   The girls are best friends.  Children aren't invited into her house because she has a dog that attacks anyone not in the family!

[fortune]

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@RedConvertibleGirl wrote:

I would definitely not call Child Protective Services.  They will ruin peoples lives before even getting any kind of proof.  I've seen it happen.  If she is concerned, she can ask the mother.  But I find it hard to believe the mother hasn't observed this interaction. 

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The mother is legally blind and never goes out of her house.  I don't think she has ever been in the man's home at all.

[cherry]

Some people are just lip kissers. Jimmy Carter is one. He even kissed the Queen Mother on the lips, when they met  for the fist time. That was a huge taboo, and raised the hackles of the British public.  I think it just came natural for him, and I don't  doubt he would kiss a child as a greeting. 

This guy might not be guilty of anything at all

[NYC Susan]

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@QueenDanceALot wrote:

You can "get to know" someone and still not know that they are not who you think they are.

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Of course.

But it's a far better approach than simply deciding that female = good, and male = up to no good.

[fortune]

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@cherry wrote:

Does the child seem at all troubled by this behavior?

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She just seems giddy and good humored when they kiss.

[pattypeep]

@NYC Susan    Again:  It's the kissing on the lips thing. Red flag. I know many responsible fathers and none of them kiss little girls on the mouth.

[fortune]

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@Noel7 wrote:

I'm confused.

Is the the girl's father or a male neighbor who is kissing the child on the lips?

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@Noel7

male neighbor.

[cherry]

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@fortune wrote:

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@cherry wrote:

Does the child seem at all troubled by this behavior?

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She just seems giddy and good humored when they kiss.

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It doesn't sound like she is afraid of him

[QueenDanceALot]

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@NYC Susan wrote:

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@QueenDanceALot wrote:

You can "get to know" someone and still not know that they are not who you think they are.

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Of course.

But it's a far better approach than simply deciding that female = good, and male = up to no good.

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Not something I suggested.

All I am saying is that no grown man should be kissing a little girl on the lips.

It's not okay.  

[QueenDanceALot]

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@cherry wrote:

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@fortune wrote:

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@cherry wrote:

Does the child seem at all troubled by this behavior?

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She just seems giddy and good humored when they kiss.

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It doesn't sound like she is afraid of him

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Which could be a HUGE problem.

You've heard of "grooming", right?