Community Chat

[manny2]

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@gidgetgh wrote:

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@JamandBread wrote:
I understand how this poor girl could have stayed. She didn't want to make a scene, I'm sure and she was probably stunned and confused by the situation. Women will put up with a lot just to keep the peace.
What she does now where this man is concerned is what matters.

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I may actually throw up. 

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I agree, I think she was blindsided by this unbelievable arrangement. We have all done something at one time or another. Looked back and thought why did I let that happen, or I should have done this or said that. She isn't the issue he is. 

I hope she lets him know how outrageous both he and his family treated her. Then I hope she steps back.because he told her a story. She might want to put the book away now. The next chapter doesn't look promising. 

[Bri369]

The thought of a 30 year old woman allowing that to happen is mind bloggling

[gidgetgh]

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@JamandBread wrote:

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@gidgetgh wrote:

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@JamandBread wrote:
I understand how this poor girl could have stayed. She didn't want to make a scene, I'm sure and she was probably stunned and confused by the situation. Women will put up with a lot just to keep the peace.
What she does now where this man is concerned is what matters.

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I may actually throw up. 

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Why?

You've never been in an uncomfortable situation and kept quiet about it in order not to cause a scene?

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@JamandBread - I am usually pretty much in agreement with most of your posts, but not this one.

"women will put up with a lot just to keep the peace". No way.  No way. Develop a backbone.  Don't let yourself be "lesser than" anyone else.  I wouldn't have made a scene.  I would have just left.  

I remove myself from uncomfortable situations. I don't stand meekly in the corner. 

[ValuSkr]

I wonder if the BF's family comes from a different culture than the GF.  What they would view as "generous" or "accomodating," she would consider "weird" at best and "insulting" at worst. I've seen it happen - with neighbors, not a beau.  Whether she stays depends on her commitment to the young man.  If it was me, I'd get out of there; he should have at least given her advance notice.

[occasionalrain]

There is obviously something wrong in the house and the parents should have told their son before he brought his girlfriend for a visit. Perhaps they were afraid he would cancel the trip and, after two years, they really wanted to see him. The mother did the best she could and tried to put a positive spin on it. I wonder if a grandparent with altzhimers, who is unpredictable and can be violent, is staying there. That may be why the son didn't take the parents and girlfriend all out to dinner. 

[JamandBread]

@gidgetgh
It's OK to be in disagreement. I was not a vocal 30 year old, I hated confrontation and I was raised to be a peace keeper. So putting myself in this woman's shoes, I could see myself going along to get along. If I had the confidence I have now at 60 (besides no longer caring what people think) I would have told my bf what I thought, ordered an Uber and flown home.

[occasionalrain]

People who camp may not shower for longer than four days. There is no Uber, no Lyft, no taxis in my bedroom community, and may not be one available there.. I don't think she felt in any danger, just in an awkward situation.She may just decided to endure.

[Glittergal]

How bizarre.  They did a great deal to make the camper nice for her, but refusing to let her in the house is plain weird.  Perhaps they are hoarders and ashamed.  Perehaps the guy is ashamed of his parents' house?  Just so strange.

[gidgetgh]

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@Bri369 wrote:

The thought of a 30 year old woman allowing that to happen is mind bloggling

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@Bri369 - yes. And that's why I replied saying I might actually throw up.

Keeping the peace and staying quiet is when you're invited to someone's house to eat and they serve chicken salad and you don't eat chicken salad.  So you gorge yourself on rolls instead to keep the peace and not be rude. 

Sitting in a trailer with a porta potty and no shower and being ignored for 4 days and keeping quiet about it isn't keeping the peace.  It's allowing yourself to be "lesser than" someone one else. And that's what makes me sick. 

[cody2]

I may be old but I would have no problem providing a separate bedroom for the girl to sleep in if my son brought her home to visit. My husband had 2 older sons who would come to visit us with their current girlfriends and I had a young teenaged daughter living with us. I did not want her to think that it was ok to go to HER boyfriends family for a visit and expect to sleep with him in THEIR home, for whatever reason they might have. Of course we always advised them that the separate room would be their sleeping arrangement while with us. As a young woman I would have NEVER expected to sleep with him at his parents home, or mine. However, I think this situation went far beyond that by expecting her to sleep outside and not even have access for simple hygiene. That is outrageous.