JOKES OF THE DAY PART 1

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. I see people around my age mountain climbing, I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

2. Procrastination is totally a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.

3. I don't care if you're a doctor, an engineer or a rocket scientist, nobody gets the produce bag open on the first try.

4. Best lies 'u' heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you...just big.

5. I want to open a Two Dollar store for people that enjoy finer things.

6. Parents don't really go on a vacation. They just take care of their kids in a different city.

7. 1. Going to bed early

2. Not leaving my house

3. Not going to a party

My childhood punishment has become my adult goals.

8. Kids, Don't Play With Fireworks!

Let the adults who have been drinking all day set

them off!

9. When I die I want my last words to be, "I left a million

dollars under the...

10. No one is more full of it than a parent that just said,

"Maybe"

11. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...

She hugged me.

12. Walmart better send me my W-2, I've been doing self checkout all year.

13. My favorite childhood memory is my back not hurting.

14. Due to freezing temperatures schools are advising parents to wear 2 pairs of Pajamas while picking kids up.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

@Lindsays Grandma I REALLY see myself in this one.....

♥Surface of the Sun♥

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@Desertdi wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma I REALLY see myself in this one.....

@Desertdi In all of them???

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

@Lindsays Grandma Yup.....(except for "hiding the million"). Takes me TWO traffic lights to cross a street on foot......... And those plastic bags! EEK......I can't even pick up coins out of my purse.

♥Surface of the Sun♥

godi · ‎03-09-2010

Love these. 1 and 3 ring so true. 🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️☕️

LdyBugz · ‎03-10-2010

#1 and #3 crack me up! So true! 😆

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@Desertdi wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma Yup.....(except for "hiding the million"). Takes me TWO traffic lights to cross a street on foot......... And those plastic bags! EEK......I can't even pick up coins out of my purse.

@Desertdi ...You just gave me a laugh, needed that real bad.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam