Community Chat

[icezeus]

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@Istru wrote:

I guess I didn't explain it correctly! My bad! 

i was specifically invited but I've never met the rest of the family. I would never go somewhere uninvited! LOL I was asking more if the gift is appropriate. Sorry about the confusion! 

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@Istru 

Ok, I missed this in your earlier statement. I thought you were asking about attending the services. I think nothing is wrong with the sympathy card. I believe that to be a common practice when someone is ill or has passed. 

I would not take the wind chime as a gift. I would leave it at the card. 

[LdyBugz]

I think you have good intentions about the windchimes, but I would forgo the gift and opt for a donation to a charity or flowers delivered to the funeral by a florist.  I've never heard of giving gifts at a funeral.  I would think it would put the bereaved in an awkward position of having to deal with a package.  As well, if you've never met the family, how would you know their likes or dislikes about windchimes?  As many have replied here, windchimes are not something they favor.  I think your attendance is all that's anticipated by the family.

~LdyBugz

[CANDLEQUEEN]

My sisters and I all received Wind Chimes when our father passed away. I thought it was very thoughtful and I still have mine and think of my dad everytime I hear them....

My other sister thought it was not a good gift.....Only because she doesn't like the sound of the chimes.....

I think it is very thoughtful!

[beach-mom]

@Istru - I think your ideas are so thoughtful. The wind chimes will remind the family of their loved one.

As for the question about whether or not it would be appropriate- around here it would be better to deliver it after, or you can always give it to the funeral director or staff to give to the family. I haven't seen condolence gifts other than flowers or plants.

Where my sister-in-law lives this would not be unusual at all. It seems to be common to leave gifts like this. When one of DH's other sisters died people brought throws, stuffed animals (her sons were 7 and 14), birdhouses, and books. I've seen this at every family funeral since. The director arranges them. 

So my advice would be to give the wind chimes. Personally I would give the package to the funeral director when you arrive, or if you are invited to a meal after, you could always take it and give it to a member of the family before you leave.  

I'm sorry for your loss. 

[Porcelain]

Your presence is the gift.

[AuntG]

As long as you were personally invited by a member of the family, it would be appropriate to attend. I'd only take a sympathy card and not give a gift (unless the obituary said something like "memorials can be directed to the _______society", in which case, I'd give a monetary donation.

[JeanLouiseFinch]

The idea of the gift is very thoughtful, but it might be better to drop it off at the house or mail it rather than perhaps creating an inconvenience or awkwardness for the family at the funeral itself, especially since you don't know the family.  A card sans the gift is totally appropriate.  

[Cakers3]

@Istru   A sympathy card is appropriate.  I would stay clear of the wind chimes.  Not everyone likes them.

Honestly I have never heard of a gift outside of flowers or a plant or a donation to a charity if one is listed in the obituary.  I would not choose one on my own.

Also most funeral homes have links to purchase flowers or memorial trees.

If you want to give a gift, I would stay with flowers or a peace plant.

How nice of you to think of a gift but keep it simple.

[ScrapHappy]

I would not bring a card or gift to a funeral.  I'd send flowers to the funeral home or church.  Or I'd send a sympathy basket of some kind (Wolferman's is a go to for me) to their home.  

[MarkeieMark]

Everything is so complicated these days.  If you knew the deceased go. If not don't.  And keep the wind chime in your gift closet.  What ever happened to sending flowers.