Community Chat

[Moonchilde]

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@Newgate wrote:

I was very happy to see this thread come up!  I am definitely a introvert!!  All my life I have been labeled something else by others!  Mostly it has been conceited or insecure!  Also people have always tried to fix me!!  I knew I never needed fixing I just wanted people to understand me!!  I am always friendly and will talk with people and I have a good sense of humor!  I was never or shall I ever be "life of the party"

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My own mother, with whom I actually shared a Myers-Briggs Type, spent her life and mine trying to "fix" me.

[chickenbutt]

I can relate to what some of you are saying.   People want to get you 'out of your shell' when you are perfectly fine.

If I choose to be in a social situation I hold my own just fine.  But maybe I choose to not be in a social situation as much or as frequently as somebody else.

If it's a thing where I pretty much don't know anybody, you'll probably find me in a corner or against the wall - NOT in the middle of things *shudder* at least until I get a comfort level and/or see somebody I know.

No biggie.   I  have plenty of things wrong with me, but this isn't one of them so nobody needs to pull me out of my 'shell'.  

[Noel7]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@HomeShoppingLover87 wrote:

@Moonchilde I had a similar problem with a past boss! She was very in-your-face, and I eventually found out that she thought I was more or less incompetent because I would hesitate a little before answering her. It was very frustrating, although I believe I did eventually prove myself to her.

I'll also add myself to the "mistaken for a snob" club, which is something I'm almost immune to because I'm just so darn used to it by now. Still kind of hurts my feelings, though. Just because I'm not dying to talk to you, doesn't mean it's because I think I'm above you. It's about me, not you.

And that's another thing - it's actually quite hypocritical to call introverts snobs, because extroverts can actually be quite self-centered in feeding their desire to talk to someone all the time. Sometimes an obvious extrovert will be making chit-chat with me in public, and I try to be polite, but am secretly thinking, "What in the world about my body language or anything else would suggest to you I want to make smalltalk with you right now? Oh, but that doesn't matter. Because apparently you want to."

We're both just doing what feels right to us; for extroverts, it just happens to involve other people more often. Doesn't mean they're socializing for benevolent reasons. They're doing it because it's what's natural for them.

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@HomeShoppingLover87, Extroverts have...ummm...trouble with body language. Something most introverts take for granted.

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I hope this isn't turning into a bash extroverts line.  I don't have a desire to talk to people all the time, I like being alone, I think I already said that.

Also, I've taken numerous body language tests and have excelled every time. 

Making a statement as the one bolded is doing what some here say is done to them. 

[HomeShoppingLover87]

@Noel7 It's just pointing out a common fallacy that plagues introverts: We're snobs, extroverts are automatically nice because they want to talk to people a lot of the time.

Feeding your innate social preference is not the same thing as being concerned for another being's welfare.

[Moonchilde]

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@HomeShoppingLover87 wrote:

@Moonchilde I had a similar problem with a past boss! She was very in-your-face, and I eventually found out that she thought I was more or less incompetent because I would hesitate a little before answering her. It was very frustrating, although I believe I did eventually prove myself to her.

I'll also add myself to the "mistaken for a snob" club, which is something I'm almost immune to because I'm just so darn used to it by now. Still kind of hurts my feelings, though. Just because I'm not dying to talk to you, doesn't mean it's because I think I'm above you. It's about me, not you.

And that's another thing - it's actually quite hypocritical to call introverts snobs, because extroverts can actually be quite self-centered in feeding their desire to talk to someone all the time. Sometimes an obvious extrovert will be making chit-chat with me in public, and I try to be polite, but am secretly thinking, "What in the world about my body language or anything else would suggest to you I want to make smalltalk with you right now? Oh, but that doesn't matter. Because apparently you want to."

We're both just doing what feels right to us; for extroverts, it just happens to involve other people more often. Doesn't mean they're socializing for benevolent reasons. They're doing it because it's what's natural for them.

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@HomeShoppingLover87, Extroverts have...ummm...trouble with body language. Something most introverts take for granted.

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I hope this isn't turning into a bash extroverts line.  I don't have a desire to talk to people all the time, I like being alone, I think I already said that.

Also, I've taken numerous body language tests and have excelled every time. 

Making a statement as the one bolded is doing what some here say is done to them. 

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Would it make you happy if I said "in general"? I did not say "all."

Many (probably most) people identify *themselves* as either Introvert or Extrovert, based on what others have told them they "must be" or what they believe themselves to be, without having tested. They may be right, or they may not be. Presumably, you have taken one of the major tests - MBTI, Keirsey or Enneagram? Even within those tests, there are some specific personality types that are difficult for even professionals to differentiate between.

[Azcowgirl]

I have also been labeled stuck up, quiet, shy, loner etc......and I love to keep myself company and can think of a zillion things to do to keep busy, and when people ask me so what do you do by yourself , aren't you bored to death ? I don't like the feeling that I'm having to defend or explain my preference to be by myself. DH is opposite, he is with people 24/7 in his business, so he doesn't know what to do with himself if he has to be alone for any stretch of time. 

My batteries run down pretty quickly if I have to be " on" for any length of time.

[DiAnne]

I don't think I am either one.  I am comfortable in social situations, like to go places and try different things - if I tell someone I am shy they laugh at me??  I am also happy with my own company.  Love to read and garden - both solitary.  I love living alone and I am not lonely.  

[Moonchilde]

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@Azcowgirl wrote:

I have also been labeled stuck up, quiet, shy, loner etc......and I love to keep myself company and can think of a zillion things to do to keep busy, and when people ask me so what do you do by yourself , aren't you bored to death ? I don't like the feeling that I'm having to defend or explain my preference to be by myself. DH is opposite, he is with people 24/7 in his business, so he doesn't know what to do with himself if he has to be alone for any stretch of time. 

My batteries run down pretty quickly if I have to be " on" for any length of time.

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Exactly. It's not that Introverts dislike being around any and all people, all the time, full stop. But for many if not most of them, a little goes a long way. Like cats that bite you for "overstimulation petting", for Introverts social interaction can easily turn from pleasure to pain.

[chickenbutt]

Well said, Moonchilde!  I like that.

[Moonchilde]

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@DiAnne wrote:

I don't think I am either one.  I am comfortable in social situations, like to go places and try different things - if I tell someone I am shy they laugh at me??  I am also happy with my own company.  Love to read and garden - both solitary.  I love living alone and I am not lonely.  

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If you're interested enough (you may not be, I don't know), taking a couple of free online tests might be very interesting to you. Some Introverts aren't that introverted and some Extroverts aren't that extroverted - and there are multiple "types" within the two basic categories. See if 2 tests come out the same, or different. It's fun!