Community Chat

[BettyNewbie]

A relative, who is a Clinical Psychaitrist, once explained the difference to me as how one "refuels".....if you need quiet time you are an introvert....if you need social settings, you are an extrovert......most people I know are introverts

[Moonchilde]

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@ECBG wrote:

@MoonchildeActually  when you wrote this:

".....- and among good friends I feel comfortable with, am very social. With strangers or acquaintances, not very social, with a limit to how much small talk I will participate in.

You just described one facet of an introvert.

Twenty percent of a child's personality is inborn.  Eighty percent is learned.

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That's because I are one 😀

As for the percentage, that's an ongoing field of study and not all researchers agree today. I personally feel it would be more like 30%. Not that many years ago it was believed the percentage was even higher. Many areas of science flip-flop, like what is good or bad in one's diet.

[HomeShoppingLover87]

@Moonchilde I had a similar problem with a past boss! She was very in-your-face, and I eventually found out that she thought I was more or less incompetent because I would hesitate a little before answering her. It was very frustrating, although I believe I did eventually prove myself to her.

I'll also add myself to the "mistaken for a snob" club, which is something I'm almost immune to because I'm just so darn used to it by now. Still kind of hurts my feelings, though. Just because I'm not dying to talk to you, doesn't mean it's because I think I'm above you. It's about me, not you.

And that's another thing - it's actually quite hypocritical to call introverts snobs, because extroverts can actually be quite self-centered in feeding their desire to talk to someone all the time. Sometimes an obvious extrovert will be making chit-chat with me in public, and I try to be polite, but am secretly thinking, "What in the world about my body language or anything else would suggest to you I want to make smalltalk with you right now? Oh, but that doesn't matter. Because apparently you want to."

We're both just doing what feels right to us; for extroverts, it just happens to involve other people more often. Doesn't mean they're socializing for benevolent reasons. They're doing it because it's what's natural for them.

[nana59]

Spent most of my life as an extrovert--always "on."  I'm tired, now, and love my alone time.......

[Moonchilde]

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@HomeShoppingLover87 wrote:

As a pretty extreme introvert, I find myself irked by people incorrectly categorizing who is and isn't an introvert. This very annoying (and extroverted) person I barely knew at the time once (loudly) balked at the idea that I could be an introvert because I'm known to be opinionated. As though "introvert" is a synonym for "easygoing" or even "spineless."

Similarly, I've known several people who have clearly never taken an actual personality test about this subject or done any research on it, but almost seem to think it's cool to say they're an introvert based on the fact that sometimes they want to be alone. News flash: Unless you are severely needy, everyone wants to be alone sometimes. As far as I understand it, introversion vs. extroversion is more about how often you want to be alone or be social. 

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LOL, true!

[Moonchilde]

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@ECBG wrote:

If you really want a good study of personality, take the personality test called the Enneogram.  It, IMO is better than the Meyers Briggs.

The book to understand the test is an incredible read on personalitys.  A lot of my seniors bought these books and learned so much.

This is the 100 question test (yes/no answers).

This is the book to understand what you answered.  You will see SO many people you know in here and see why they probably are as they are.

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I have taken both tests multiple times. I don't really identify with the enneagram choices, but do very much with MBTI and Keirsey.

[Trinity11]

Introverts make good listeners. We tend not share much about ourselves and prefer to listen. Often times we would prefer the peace and quiet of not having to extend ourselves when we are at social events and we limit our contacts.

Interesting read that we got this way from our environment. I am very uncomfortable around anyone who divulges their life history and prefer people who take a long time to get to know. I read things on this board from people who call themselves introverts yet they share so much about themselves. I would call that more of an extroverted personality but I guess that's another thread for another time.

[Moonchilde]

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@BettyNewbie wrote:

A relative, who is a Clinical Psychaitrist, once explained the difference to me as how one "refuels".....if you need quiet time you are an introvert....if you need social settings, you are an extrovert......most people I know are introverts

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Yes, this. If people/social situations wear you out *most of the time* you're an introvert. If you need very little alone time and recharge your batteries by being with people *most of the time* you are an extrovert.

[Newgate]

I was very happy to see this thread come up!  I am definitely a introvert!!  All my life I have been labeled something else by others!  Mostly it has been conceited or insecure!  Also people have always tried to fix me!!  I knew I never needed fixing I just wanted people to understand me!!  I am always friendly and will talk with people and I have a good sense of humor!  I was never or shall I ever be "life of the party"

[Moonchilde]

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@HomeShoppingLover87 wrote:

@Moonchilde I had a similar problem with a past boss! She was very in-your-face, and I eventually found out that she thought I was more or less incompetent because I would hesitate a little before answering her. It was very frustrating, although I believe I did eventually prove myself to her.

I'll also add myself to the "mistaken for a snob" club, which is something I'm almost immune to because I'm just so darn used to it by now. Still kind of hurts my feelings, though. Just because I'm not dying to talk to you, doesn't mean it's because I think I'm above you. It's about me, not you.

And that's another thing - it's actually quite hypocritical to call introverts snobs, because extroverts can actually be quite self-centered in feeding their desire to talk to someone all the time. Sometimes an obvious extrovert will be making chit-chat with me in public, and I try to be polite, but am secretly thinking, "What in the world about my body language or anything else would suggest to you I want to make smalltalk with you right now? Oh, but that doesn't matter. Because apparently you want to."

We're both just doing what feels right to us; for extroverts, it just happens to involve other people more often. Doesn't mean they're socializing for benevolent reasons. They're doing it because it's what's natural for them.

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@HomeShoppingLover87, Extroverts have...ummm...trouble with body language. Something most introverts take for granted.