Instiling Confidence in Children - Page 3

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

@reiki604 wrote:
@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@gardenman. I agree with your post. I have a nephew and niece raised together and the same way. They are as different as night and day in every single way. The only thing they have in common are the same parents.
I grew up in a household with 2 brothers and its hard to imagine that we were raised by the same parents. According to my brother, I was dad's favorite. I grew up independent, loving to learn and read and aloof just like dad. The middle brother was clearly Mom's favorite (she even said so). He grew up to be entitled, gregarious and materialistic. The younger brother was nobody's favorite and he suffered with severe depression. Clearly, I believe it is how you are treated and raised by your parents that determine your basic attributes. But just because it's how you are raised, does not mean it's your destiny. We also can work and change ourselves. It's the willingness and drive to do the work that determines how successful we are at it.

@reiki604. I agree with a lot of your post but in my case there was no favoritism by the parents towards either child. I have to admit though, both were a bit spoiled, but equally.

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@reiki604 wrote:
@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@gardenman. I agree with your post. I have a nephew and niece raised together and the same way. They are as different as night and day in every single way. The only thing they have in common are the same parents.
I grew up in a household with 2 brothers and its hard to imagine that we were raised by the same parents. According to my brother, I was dad's favorite. I grew up independent, loving to learn and read and aloof just like dad. The middle brother was clearly Mom's favorite (she even said so). He grew up to be entitled, gregarious and materialistic. The younger brother was nobody's favorite and he suffered with severe depression. Clearly, I believe it is how you are treated and raised by your parents that determine your basic attributes. But just because it's how you are raised, does not mean it's your destiny. We also can work and change ourselves. It's the willingness and drive to do the work that determines how successful we are at it.
@reiki604. I agree with a lot of your post but in my case there was no favoritism by the parents towards either child. I have to admit though, both were a bit spoiled, but equally.

I understand what you're saying, but to anyone outside our house, it would seem the same way. Unless you live and are raised in the same household, there is no way to really know.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@Lindsays Grandma Thank you

Lattelvr · ‎09-02-2018

I found this post interesting and so true. This morning I was watching tv and landed on the CBS Sunday show. They were running an interview with actress Angela Bassett. During the interview she spoke about her childhood and how her mother sent her to live with her aunt when she was just a little girl. I missed the part why her mother did that, however, she stated that her aunt was a very loving person that loved children. What stood out was when she was speaking about her aunt, she said that she was the one who instilled alot of confidence in her. She also said that it was great knowing that there was someone who she knew really loved her. She eventually did go back to her mother and she spoke about going to high school and falling in love with acting at 15 and then going to Yale for acting! I found her story of success moving and I immediately thought of this thread and thought I'd mention it.

chiclets · ‎07-01-2012

Some people are confident because they do not fear failure.

Some others are confident because they do no fear consequence regarding what they do.

Abusive words live forever, scars from beatings will fade.

Children do learn what they live. Some become stronger and more determine, while others become hostile, and others never grow up knowing who they are and live with anxiety and doubt all their lives.

It isn't just a matter of instilling confidence there are other outside factors.

The environment and people who you come across in life have an affect.

If you are bullied. If you have difficulty with sports, reading, are shy, or think you are a know it all, it affects you.

As a parent you have no way of knowing what is happening with your children when they leave your house.

A individual has to learn surviving with or without you. You can not protect them from everything and thinking you can also does harm.

Being afraid to go home is a terrible feeling. Being afraid to say you failed, or someone did something to you is terrifying. It affects confidence.

Feeling safe is wonderful. Knowing you have trust at home is wonderful. Knowing you are loved is everything and there is, as strange as it may sound, a right and wrong way of loving. Because you are a parent that does not mean you are loved automatically. It is felt, and taught and earned and respected .

Brisky · ‎12-09-2018

I am one of four children. That is where the similarities end. We are all totally different.
We did have the same parents.

JBKO · ‎12-16-2011

Thank you again. And I love your post QualityGal. I have to say that birth order makes a HUUUUUUUGGGEEE difference. The way my mom parented me doesn't compare to how she parents my 14 year old sister.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Peaches McPhee · ‎04-19-2010

I don't think having confidence has anything to do with thsese things: "graduated college, they didn't do well in school, are not cultured or well-traveled, are not informed when it comes to world affairs, etc. "

To me, it is about being proud of who you are, whatever you are. Being comfortable in your own skin. Liking yourself. Knowing you have something to offer other than a college degree or culture,

-- pro-aging --

Rochester, New York

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@haddon9 wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma Thank you

@haddon9...You are more than welcome. It is time for you to change your life, at 65 years of age you are in a position to stop allowing your mother or anyone else in your life from treating you badly. Speak to a therapist if at all possible so you can get the support you to need to go forward. I'm praying for you.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
@haddon9 wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma Thank you
@haddon9...You are more than welcome. It is time for you to change your life, at 65 years of age you are in a position to stop allowing your mother or anyone else in your life from treating you badly. Speak to a therapist if at all possible so you can get the support you to need to go forward. I'm praying for you.

@Lindsays Grandma I agree I do need to find a good therapist to help me think more positively. That in itself is another task that isn't easy...finding someone good. Right now I have my brother who feels the same way about mom to commiserate with.

As for my mother, she is in south Florida and I'm up in Pa...so there is a sizable buffer zone which helps as I don't see her often.