Community Chat

[Love my grandkids]

@CritterKeeper Yes it's your body but is it really worth it? I mean, really? You need to re-think this.

[RespectLife]

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@Sage04 wrote:

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@CritterKeeper wrote:

@chickenbutt  I think you helped me hit the nail on the head, so to speak. He just thinks they are trashy.

In one way I have the attitude that "life is short and do what makes you happy", but on the other hand, I want to have a peaceful happy marriage.

I'm really torn. I want to have some independence and power (for lack of a better term) over my life. This isn't something I just thought about doing. I have thought and thought about it. 

I have made the appointment and put down the deposit, but perhaps I should call and cancel. Then I feel like I have cheated myself. 

@CritterKeeper  I don't blame him. Don't like them either. Can't even look at someone with tattoos. He stayed even after the first and second. You might not be so lucky with the third.

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Seriously?  He may leave?  Then HE has the problem.

Sorry, I am definitely BIASED.

My DH doesn't like tats either.  I never cared either way until I had an event I wanted to memorialize in a tat.

He expressed his opinion, I gave him mine.

Tat #2 was on the same day.

Tat #3 was a year later and he fussed even more.  They ALL mean something VERY special to me and I think they are lovely and tasteful.

For me it wasn't a my body' issue, it was a My desire issue.

I do NOT judge people or refuse to look at them because they may have tats or piercings.

Some of these posts sound very OLD and frankly are unkind about those of us who choose to have them.

@CritterKeeper   I explained to my DH why and asked him to respect MY wishes.

He doesn't like them, he doesn't have to get them!

We have been married a little bit longer.  We have developed our marriage beyond having differences.

I didn't fuss when he got a boat!   LOL

[ThinkingOutLoud]

It sounds like you need an outlet to express your individuality and creativity. That's understandable but there are much better and healthier options. Also, you may want to consider that tattoos (and piercings btw) can have negative health consequences. Just adding that to help you shift your mindset so you don't feel jipped. Hope that makes sense.

[CritterKeeper]

@RespectLife  I think you are my soul sister. Thank you! 

[RespectLife]

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@CritterKeeper wrote:

Honestly, I don't think he should have to support my decision but honor my decisions. I can't make him understand or even like it but I just wish he (and others) would respect my decision. Just because we have differences doesn't make either of us wrong.

Just because I am a spouse and mother  I am also an individual person. We may not always agree on things but we need to respect each other. This goes far beyond just spouses.

Thank you to all for you points of view. I truly, with every ounce of my body, believe my marriage is strong and this certainly would break it up, but it would just make him upset with me for a while.

With that being said and with some other options to honor my love for my rescues I think I will have to rethink my plans.

And for some of you, please understand, just because someone has tattoos or piercings that don't make them a monster or terrible person. I am a professional, a mother, and a wife that sometimes just wants to show a creative side. 

We all should have that option. If you choose to- great. If you choose not to- that's great too.

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YES @CritterKeeper 

to EVERYTHING  you wrote above.  Gosh as I read some posts, I thought I was back in the Stone Age....where I needed my DH permission to exist??

I think you have a great prospective....and you will make the right decision,

[manny2]

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@HLP wrote:

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@CritterKeeper wrote:

Hello. I have been married to an absolutely wonderful person for nearly 25 years. We have had our ups and downs but for the most part, we are happy and healthy. 

When we were dating, we discussed many things including tattoos. At that time I had no interest in having any. Things and attitudes change throughout the years and I now have two modest tattoos on my feet. My husband HATES them. He didn't speak to me for two days when I got my second one.

I recently started fostering rescue dogs (which I absolutely love). I now want to get a small tattoo on my wrist in honor of this. I will be getting it around the time of my 46th birthday. I know this is going to cause a complete uproar and possible argument.

Am I just being selfish by doing this? I feel it is my body and as long as I'm not infringing on someone else's I should be able to do it. But perhaps I should forgo some of my personal wishes to keep the peace? 

I just need an unbiased opinion to guide me in this. 

Your not only selfish but you want to go against your husband, because you really deep down don't like him.Why would you go against his wishes? What are you saying, {I really don't care what you like] ?My husband has passed, we didn't ever infringe on each others right, but we never got to the point of," I'll do it anyway". Your childish! when I see a tatoo, I think low class. It's not the tatoo, it's maybe the marriage is over. I just can not imagine that you two have not discussed your points of view. I didn't have a marriage like this..Forget the tatoo.

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I think your mindset is unhealthy @HLP  You are not even close with the analysis. If you are the same person you were at 21 then I feel for you. 

@CritterKeeper has a very healthy mindset, and she is struggling with this situation. You seem to think she has to please her husband. What about her husband supporting her too. How about they talk and they compromise. 

[DottieBlue]

I actually can see both sides. 

However, if your hubby actually did not speak to you for 2 days after your second tatoo even though he knew beforehand you were going to get it, I find that behavior immature, a bit controlling, and alot concerning.  What behavior on his part are you anticipating if you get a third tatoo?  The silent treatment again?  Or something more aggressive? Are you prepared for whatever it may be?  If you do decide on another tatoo, I hope his response will be acceptance, and no more silent treatment!

Best wishes to you in whatever you decide to do.

[Krimpette]

What has he said when you told him you were getting a third tattoo?

[KingstonsMom]

@CritterKeeper 

I can only relate to you my experience, I have many tattoos, none of which anyone would see, unless I wanted you to, all animal related and loved one's names, all small and discreet.

I had 4 when DH and I married 36 years ago, in those 36 years, I've gotten 6 more, all with his blessing.

And no, he doesn't have any tattoos, it's not his thing.....it's my thing, and he's good with that.

[goldensrbest]

I can see a women getting one small tattoo, only one,i agree with your husband, i see people with so many on them,up and down arms ,legs ,it looks really bad.