Community Chat

[Shorty2U]

Hypothetically, if you lived in another country would you move to the USA? I'm talking about if you lived in a civilized country (because of course someone in a war torn country would move here). Please don't make it political because that is not my intention.

I love the USA, but I can honestly say "if" I lived in another "civilized" country, I would not move here and leave my family for this faster paced life. Heck I wouldn't even move to another state..lol. because I would be lost and miss my children and grandchildren too much. They are my life, (along w DH).

You see my granddaughter (almost 19) has a very good male Scottish friend (20). He has been here 2X. Once with his Mom, and once alone. (When he came here alone his mom was in tears).

He is a very nice young man, with great values, intelligent, and from a good family. Presently he goes to college in Scotland (and works). College is free over there (and I think? they have free healthcare). He has his mom and dad (separated), a grandfather, and an aunt. (He has no cousins and no siblings).

Well my granddaughter and him like each other very much. He is thinking of moving here (for reasons I will type below), and going to college. I guess he would get a visa to attend college, (in addition to work?), which he says all of this can take like a year to get interviewed and paperwork etc? And not just for those things but to live here FOREVER.

Granddaughter is starting college Fall 2017, since she took a year off after graduation and is working. She is also very intelligent, a really good girl with values, and she's a beautiful young lady!

Anyway, when he was here he couldn't get over the way people focus on "things" and he couldn't get over the way the houses here all look different. He said over there they are in a row and look the same. They don't focus on things, they focus on family and simplicity. Also, he is very thin, but he gained 12 lbs the last time he was here! lol. He loves a lot of our restaurants and some of our treats, which granddaughter sends him (non perishables).

Frankly from what he described, I'd rather live there than here!...lol.. DH said the same and cant believe he wants to live here. But he says he misses granddaughter, doesn't fit in over there anymore, and is bored. I guess it boils down to the grass is greener on the other side, etc. (but is it?). Well you get what I mean.

DH and I have NOT given our opinion to anyone, we just listen to everything. I have learned to stay out of things that arent my business (for the most part..lol). BUT we feel his family will be very heartbroken if he moves here. Yes, I know people have done this forever (my grandparents did it), and young people have no fear.

So I hope whatever he decides is right "for him" and he has "no regrets" later, as those of us who are older know, "with age comes wisdom"

Oh PS in case anyone wonders, they met as modern day pen pals online (for a few years) and his mom came with him the first time for weeks. Then he came here alone (supervised heavily by granddaughters parents!). And we all like him very much, hes a good kid.

[cherry]

I doubt that I would move.

[sandraskates]

@Shorty2UYour story has me smiling! They sound like a good match for either a strong friendship or beyond, as their lives unfold.

I actually lived in England for a couple of years and it was a good experience to see how others live (we'll stick to the civilized country scenerio). It was more difficult to do day-to-day tasks and errands but I thought people were much more polite to each other. And where I stayed there were many rowhomes that all looked alike. It's not like that everywhere in England, it just depends on the boroughs.

I was glad to "come home" at the end of my stay.

I sometimes wish that one could live anywhere they want without all the red tape involved. I can think of many countries I'd like to live in - Denmark, Australia, Maurituis. . .

[Laura14]

I think you have it right with "the grass is greener" and they are definitely young and not thinking straight.  When you spend 24/7 with someone, you understand absence and the heart growing fonder.  It's not going to be the fantasy in their heads.  

I don't think you can just move to another country in this day and age (especially the USA) without a good deal of paperwork and government approval so he may be in for a shock if he really thinks he can do that.  A long vacation maybe but I doubt he'll go further than that without a good job offer or god forbid marriage to your granddaughter meaning they are way too young to take that step.

You have it right to sit back and enjoy the show.  Reality is probably going to bite hard personally and legally.  

And to answer the question, I personally wouldn't move myself out of my country unless I married a husband with an international job and we were going some place I thought I could handle.  I like to travel but I was done with Europe after a week and very glad to get back home.    

[blackhole99]

My husband and I have been thinking of movng out of the country since he retired, but where to go is the is the problem. We want to go where it's warm,my son lived in Mexico and liked it so maybe we'll try there. We like the states and if you have plenty of money, it's a great place to live. Of course everything here is about bigger and better from homes to peoples's height. I think we need to check our values in this country.

[Lucky Charm]

So I'm assuming he verbalized how much he couldn't get over how much 'we' focus on "things" and 'over there' they "don't focus on things, they focus on family and simplicity".

I don't understand what "things" are.  Maybe you could explain?

If I ventured to guess, maybe our cars, our electronics, our different shaped/sized homes?

If that's the case, I personally don't  think I focus/obsess on any of that.  I own homes worth hundreds of thousands of dollars more than the one I live in.

But getting back to him and what he says their focus on is family, and sadly his parents are separated.

[willdob3]

I'd say it depends where I was living but, honestly, I doubt it. I live here and I'd move out of this country if I had the money & could figure out where to go.

[MarthaStewardess]

I have lived in another country at  different times of my life.  I have family both here and there and if I had it all to do over again,  with hindsight, I'd more than likely not move back here.

[Pqfan]

Oh I would do anything for love.

I would do anything for love.

I would do anything for love.

But I won't do that.

[SahmIam]

This is a conversation we have with family members every year as they either come here or we go there (England). My inlaws own a home here in the US as well as England, Provence and Italy; they travel here and there to see family and to enjoy what each home has to offer. 

We are looking at the possibility of relocating to England due to the needs of our son. However, whenever there has been a SERIOUS health issue, my in-laws and other family members overseas have come to the US for their medical care. They will NOT come here to live permanently, however.

There is a consensus among family and friends in Europe that if you are well educated, have an excellent skill set and enjoy a wonderful quality of life, then you don't move to the US. Friends can not imagine having to worry about medical bills, having to choose between heat or Rx's, etc. They don't understand the issues with guns and why the US needs them. They don't understand why we have such a woeful public transportation system. There is also the fact that for less than a $100 in air fare, you can have breakfast in England, lunch in Paris, dinner in Germany and then be home in your own bed that night; That wouldn't get me to New Jersey! (from DC).

Overall, the pros are there for staying in England, France, Germany, Italy, Australia and Japan (where everyone lives) for those who have been to the US for extended stays. 

It's a difficult choice, being VERY honest.