Community Chat

[hgsuddle]

I make a small donation to a non-denominational charity in honor of the occasion.

[missy1]

Just a card.

[Peaches McPhee]

On 6/20/2014 sunala said:

I do, because I'm afraid everyone else will bring gifts and then I'll feel like a fool.

The person who brought the gift is the fool because they did not follow the wishes of the host.

This happened at my mom's 80th b-day party. We specifically said "no gifts" because that was the wish of my mom -- the guest of honor! She still got some, and it made her feel uncomfortable. She did not want her friends, many of them living on fixed incomes, to spend money on her.

[JustJules]

I always bring a gift, it makes me happy and I figure a kind gesture can never be bad. If they ask for no gifts specifically, then I make it something small, but again it's just a gesture of thoughtfulness.

[Yuban3]

If an invite specifically said, "No Gifts", then I would honor that wish. I wouldn't bring wine, because what if they are not drinkers? I wouldn't bring flowers, because flowers only last a couple of days. I wouldn't bring chocolates, because they may be on a diet of some kind.

Take for example, a wedding, but this is the couple's second wedding, and they are in their 40's or 50's. By that time in their life, they already have pretty much everything that they need.

Or a baby shower for the couple's fifth child. Again, they already have everything that they need.

So, honor the hosts request, and don't bring anything. There is absolutely NO reason to "feel like a fool" for not bringing anything. That's just plain silly.

The host probably will be relieved that you honored her request.

[colliegirls]

If the people are very close friends, I will bring something.

[JustJules]

On 6/21/2014 Peaches McPhee said:

On 6/20/2014 sunala said:

I do, because I'm afraid everyone else will bring gifts and then I'll feel like a fool.

The person who brought the gift is the fool because they did not follow the wishes of the host.

This happened at my mom's 80th b-day party. We specifically said "no gifts" because that was the wish of my mom -- the guest of honor! She still got some, and it made her feel uncomfortable. She did not want her friends, many of them living on fixed incomes, to spend money on her.

I don't understand why your mother would feel uncomfortable because some people wanted to give her something? It's fine that she said "no gifts" so that her fixed income friends didn't feel obligated, but I'm sure the gifts she received were from people that could afford to do it and it made them feel good to give her something. I think what so many people miss is that saying "it is better to give than receive". It truly makes some people happy to give without any expectation of anything in return. Your mother should have been thrilled that some people chose to give her gifts, and if it happened to be something she didn't need or could use, then she could always pass it on to someone who could use it. Some people get so touchy about gift giving... I say just take it as a thoughtful gesture and leave it at that.

*spelling*

[sidsmom]

Of course no gift.

If we flipped it, with the host telling you "Please bring a gift", everyone would be in a tizzy stating how rude was the host. But once the host is telling you "Please no gift", and a gift is brought, shouldn't we state how rude was the giver?

Same direction by host...ALMOST same words...but totally different way of looking @ it.
I'm amused by Word Play.

[Yuban3]

On 6/21/2014 sidsmom said:

Of course no gift.

If we flipped it, with the host telling you "Please bring a gift", everyone would be in a tizzy stating how rude was the host. But once the host is telling you "Please no gift", and a gift is brought, shouldn't we state how rude was the giver?

Same direction by host...ALMOST same words...but totally different way of looking @ it.
I'm amused by Word Play.

Not to mention that the host would be accused of "gift grabbing".

I find it astonishing at how many people think it is perfectly okay to ignore the host's wish, and to do whatever the heck they want. Hosts wish be dammed.

[sunshine45]

On 6/21/2014 Jules5280 said:

I always bring a gift, it makes me happy and I figure a kind gesture can never be bad. If they ask for no gifts specifically, then I make it something small, but again it's just a gesture of thoughtfulness.

EXACTLY!!!!