Community Chat

[SandySparkles]

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@jlkz wrote:

Growing up, my friends and I all had certain chores we were assigned, some of us got allowances, some did not.

Looking back, I see how we were learning life skills and sharing in the responsibility of maintaining the cleanliness of our environment.

After the birth of my younger sisters, the twins, my mother needed a very early hysterectomy which caused her to overreact to stresses in the extended family.  The doctor  recommended she go out and get a job which she did....this was 1954.   At 10 in the fourth grade, I became the cook and floor scrubber.  Dinner was on the table when she came home at 5:20.  I don't remember what my father did on the alternate weeks when he worked day shift.  I remember he had a weekend part-time job though.

The early responsibilities taught me to prioritize and manage my time:  my schoolwork never suffered. As I remained first in my class all the way through graduation.

Even today, my home, my car, my iPad, my cell phone are all organized.

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@jlkz Welcome!🥰  I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post as  this is similar to my history!!!😊 I was the oldest, so much of the day-to-day responsibilities were delegated to me when my parents were not home. I am MOST grateful for the life lessons I learned because of it. I am also OCD about cleanliness and organization.😁 My family jokes about being able to eat off my floors without worry!😂

THANK you SO much for caring to share!🤗

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

[lgfan]

Playing with phones, games and tablets is fun compared to doing chores.

[Cakers3]

@SandySparkles  I agree 👍💯 

My son could iron (with supervision) at the age of 7.

He could do laundry (with supervision) at the age of 7.

Just a start.

I never even had a microwave oven until he was 16. He knows how to cook because he did cook.

I believe children will want to copy what Mom and/or Dad do around the house. If they do not see it, they will not learn it.

Very simple.

I see nothing negative or anything sinister about this thread so perhaps some should sweep out their own houses first.

Just sayin'.🙄

[SandySparkles]

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@Cakers3 wrote:

@SandySparkles  I agree 👍💯 

My son could iron (with supervision) at the age of 7.

He could do laundry (with supervision) at the age of 7.

Just a start.

I never even had a microwave oven until he was 16. He knows how to cook because he did cook.

I believe children will want to copy what Mom and/or Dad do around the house. If they do not see it, they will not learn it.

Very simple.

I see nothing negative or anything sinister about this thread so perhaps some should sweep out their own houses first.

Just sayin'.🙄

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@Cakers3 Welcome!🥰  WOW! That is MOST impressive!👍 I taught my children to iron before they entered middle school as they were so eager to learn; thankfully!! I was a single mom at the time, so it was quite welcome!😊

THANK you SO much for caring to share!🤗

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

[SandySparkles]

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@spiderw wrote:

Whatever parents can teach their children, manners, self respect and respect for others, value systems, kindness  are commendable.  These are just as important if not more than house chores.  However, it is all good and benefits the youngsters as they mature.  

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@spiderw Welcome!🥰 Exactly! I like that you said, "benefits the youngsters as they mature".👍My dear mother had many faults, but I am forever grateful to her for instilling the importance of keeping a clean, tidy  environment and learning prioritization.😊

THANK you SO much for caring to share!🤗

 ~~~All we need is LOVE💖

[Mersha]

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@Cakers3 wrote:

@SandySparkles  I agree 👍💯 

My son could iron (with supervision) at the age of 7.

He could do laundry (with supervision) at the age of 7.

Just a start.

I never even had a microwave oven until he was 16. He knows how to cook because he did cook.

I believe children will want to copy what Mom and/or Dad do around the house. If they do not see it, they will not learn it.

Very simple.

I see nothing negative or anything sinister about this thread so perhaps some should sweep out their own houses first.

Just sayin'.🙄

@Cakers3   There is a trend wherein you must reply negatively to any post where my opinion is stated.

You seem obsessed with me.

Just sayin'.

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[JoyFilled Warrior]

At my last home, a least, the 2 youngest of the 4 children, neighbors, would often come over.  After they'd the 2-6 kids left, there I picked up the items used, & I swept after where they were sitting, doing whatever craft, or Beauty, Art, Playing activities, or movie we were watching. Don't know why this necessary sweepable-ness was coming from, Every time??

   Then occurred to me, 'why was I doing all *their*  sweeping each time.  So I started teaching them, you must sweep after yrself (your used area) before you leave here.  They took to it, no problem! SHOCKER, esp since their own home was a virtual, no joke, awful, awful, awful, unconscionable, literal PIG PEN.  Indescribably awful Home conditions Id NEVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!  So I expected a struggle.  NOPE (in my home).

(I was only allowed in their own home, finally, when their Dad was trying to hoodwink me, put the squeeze on me to move in with that divorced Dad of his 4 children & multiple of virtually ignored series of pets. THAT is when I saw, & THAT is when I was UTTERLY SHOCKED!! And did EVERYTHING for that move to his place, NOT to be my only option! I dare say, it was CONDEMNABLE, imho!)

I carefully asked the visiting girls, why didnt they do this same clean up thing in their own home?? Their response:  "Because it was too overwhelming."  I tried to teach them, little bit at a time makes it manageable. For a time, we did manage to teach them, & they taught the males, cleanliness in the Bathroom.  But their 3 males always wanted to use the cleanest bathroom - the girls!

    Trying not to betray them, I carefully counseled their Dad with the gist of what they mentioned to me.   HE did NOTHING about it.  Even resisted it!   Turned out, cause HE HIMSELF avoided cleaning also, pig-ness seemingly proud of,  & also seemed to have such disdain for cleaning!   It was indescribable

  Visiting there, when it appeared it was my only option in moving, I was teaching the girls/boys/even Dad, about cleaning up, esp after themselves.  Hitting up these, non-human, horrid conditions even.  Tempting the kids with my own money, we did manage to clean some places, with helps of rake, shovels, & whatever worked, and those tools on the *INSIDE* (AND also OUTSIDE) house!  Eventually, finally, he kicked in and helped too.

  He confided in me that he was concerned the kids would expect paying them for each time he wanted them to clean.  (He had a hard time keeping a job, and it was always the bosses fault for no job).

As we plugged along, I would help them ONLY ONCE - THEY are maintain it.  Of course, hey didnt believe  me, only once.

... Then, in fact, he was repeatedly telling the kids that, I was OCD about cleaning, so then the kids had excuses to start to slacking off.

It's "NOT happening in my own abode!!  If you come over/stay, you sweep after!  Otherwise, enjoy yourselves, but not in my home." So they they tested, & were allowed to keep coming over, provided, they swept as usual.  Tested me, & I stuck with it!

  Then the youngest girl BEGGED ME to wash my small, "preferably hardly anything in the sink but only for minutes.  One serving handful of dishes.  Then she wanted to sparkle up my white porcelain sink, which I virtually kept that way anyway.

I even set her up with a little collapsible stool, at the sink, which she was so proud of!

  Their Dad missed one heck of an opportunity with these kids, at least the youngest one.    But Dad said he loved visiting one of this gal friends who he said was OCD about cleaning.  He "loved going over her house," he said, "cause everything was just in its own place & always clean."  I bit my tongue, but eventually it escaped my mouth, I couldnt help myself, & said to him:  "kinda like continuing to visit a Hotel, eh?"  He said, "yeah."  Not sure that connected with him.

 NO, I did everything NOT to move me (& my beloved cat) over there to his place, when my landlord wanted to sell, & was squeezing me, to move out, in less than 1 month, in the dead of winter.

My place was neighbor to this (the Pig Pen) home.

This neighbor's moved out, ex-wife, (kids Mom), was always calling Authorities to his home.  But he was always most cagey, & dodged being caught.

Yeah, kids CAN be able to be taught cleaning, (at least when they're merely visiting me), & at least when you "ride them."  The "riding part" is alotta work tho, cause they like to wear down the adult!  and they succeed, esp when all living together.  I saw this with my own brothers, growing up!  But also, my Mom always insisted, "cleaning was a female's job."  Yeah, right?  NOPE, I dont agree!  At a minimum, regardless of gender, clean up after yrself.

  Besides, Im incredibly bug-phobic!  heh  (And the boys thought it funny, to add insult to my phobia, put bugs everywhere I would be, including on, & in my bed!   

[Cakers3]

@JoyFilled Warrior I never understood why the mother of these children does not have custody. If she has to continually call the authorities why are the children left with him? Or is she being bitter and uses the authorities for some type of revenge.

It doesn't make sense.

Children are not inherently lazy so the attention given to them leads to them wanting to do chores. Children are naturally curious.

They will learn because they see, and want to try the same.

[monicakm]

@jlkz 

The early responsibilities taught me to prioritize and manage my time.

I homeschooled my daughter K-3rd grade.  I supplemented her curriculum with various workbooks I would carefully select at a teacher's supply store.  Man, I loved that time in our lives!  One of my favorite workbook topics was time management.  Not this one but one similar.  Organization has always been something I prioritize.

[monicakm]

@jlkz 

One of my daughter's chores when she got older was to clean out the car on Fridays after school. It was always filled with school work/books, clothes, sports uniforms, sheet music etc.