IT'S LAUGH TIME

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. I keep losing my phone!! Why doesn't someone invent a phone that stays attached to a wall???

2. Two old friends crossed paths after not seeing one another for almost a decade.

UTKARSH: "What are you doing these days?

SPARSH: "PhD"

UTKARSH: "Wow! You're a doctor!!"

SPARSH: "No, Pizza Home Delivery."

3. "I looked, and the Ten Commandants don't say anything about running with scissors" - says child to his mom.

4. Knock Knock!

WHOSE THERE?

Cows go

Cows go who?

No, cows go moo owls go who!!

5. Knock Knock!

WHOSE THERE?

Tank

Tank who?

Your welcome!!

6. Whenever I have a problem I sing. Then I realize that my voice is a lot worse than my problem.

7. Knock Knock!

WHOSE THERE?

Pasture

Pasture Who?

Pasture your bedtime, isn't it??

8. Patient: The problem is that obesity runs in my family.

Doctor: No, the problem is that no one runs in your family.

9. Knock Knock!

WHOSE THERE?

Justin

Justin who?

Just in time for dinner!!

10. My teacher said I never pay attention in class - Hmmm -At least I think that's what she said.

11. Knock Knock!

WHOSE THERE?

Beets

Beets Who?

Beets me!!

12. Man to woman looking for a job: "This is a citrus grove!"

Do you have any experience picking lemons?" Woman: Well, I've been divorced 4 times!

13. Knock Knock!

WHOSE THERE?

Little Old Lady

Little Old Lady Who?

I didn't know you could yodel!!

14. Boss to employee: "Why is it that I always catch you goofing off?" Employee: "That's easy. It's because you walk so quietly."

15. Knock Knock!

WHOSE THERE?

Radio

Radio Who?

Radio O not here I come!!

To Be Continued

Clean Funny Jokes For Adults

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

DbinMD · ‎09-18-2019

@Lindsays Grandma

#6 Would be me for sure! And #9 I have a son named Justin and we used to tell him hes just in time, for what ever it would be

These are all great!

godi · ‎03-09-2010

Laughing out loud this morning. Love them all, hard to pick a favorite. 🙏☕️❤️

SandySparkles · ‎06-13-2010

@Lindsays Grandma 😂😂😂😂😂 Number 2 is GOLDEN!😂

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

appm · ‎04-17-2010

@Lindsays Grandma Love them all but Number 1 is my favorite.

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@appm wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma Love them all but Number 1 is my favorite.

@appm When I read that for the first time I yelled, "AMEN" let's bring back the "land lines."

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

appm · ‎04-17-2010

@Lindsays Grandma Amen for sure. There are probably young people today who don't know what a land line is. Progress!!!!???

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@appm wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma Amen for sure. There are probably young people today who don't know what a land line is. Progress!!!!???

@appm ...I'm with you - Progress??? The worst idea anyone could come up with. The way I see it is, keep what we had, known as a land line phone, and introduce the cell phone for people to have when they are out of the house, now that, to me, makes more sense. But nobody asked me for my opinion.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

wilma · ‎03-13-2010

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

@Lindsays Grandma
My favorites:

8. Patient: The problem is that obesity runs in my family.
Doctor: No, the problem is that no one runs in your family.

As a retired teacher, I love this one! 😉
10. My teacher said I never pay attention in class - Hmmm -At least I think that's what she said.

12. Man to woman looking for a job: "This is a citrus grove!"
Do you have any experience picking lemons?" Woman: Well, I've been divorced 4 times!