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Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,580
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@Mom2Dogs wrote:

I guess I'm really old and traditional...I had no problem taking my husband's last name. 


I didn't either.  And I would do it again.  And I'm not really old.  I'm 50 and we've been married for almost 28 years. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: I'm confused

[ Edited ]

@Alison Wonderland wrote:

Yes. Sometimes they both take the woman's name, sometimes they hyphenate, sometimes they do something else. When Alexa Vega married Carlos Pena, they both change their last name to PenaVega, no hypen.

I think it's a great idea. It's either neither partner or the woman who usually has to have her legal documentation changed - ID, social, credit cards, etc. - and this shares that burden evenly. 


 

I agree.

 

And this is nothing new.  Many years ago, I had young patients whose last names were a combination of their mother's and father's.  (For example, Jane Smith and John Jones became Jane Smith-Jones and John Smith-Jones when they married.)  I don't think it's super-common, but it's not rare.  And definitely not a new trend since it's been around for awhile.  It's a mutual decision made by couples who don't think the wife has to automatically change her name to her husband's.

 

I also know a couple who chose the wife's last name and cut out the husband's completely since both of them liked her name better.  That was also many years ago.

 

(And I agree with those who have said that the doctor's choice of name is not really the OP's business.  Yes, he's into her personal business, but her visits with him are about HER, not about him or anything personal about him.  Unless I knew a doctor very well and was clear as to his comfort level, I would steer clear of asking personal questions, especially if it runs the risk of sounding judgmental.  Which in this case, it very well might have.)

 

 

Contributor
Posts: 54
Registered: ‎07-14-2018

Yes . It's not unusual for hyphenated names for both spouses.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,916
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

@puttypiesmom wrote:

@newname0 wrote:

I went to see a new doctor I was assigned to with a hypenated name and I asked him why he hypenated his name and he told me it was his wife's name.  Now I can't figure out what he meant by that.  My son's wife hypenated her name but my son is still using his own given name.  Have you ever heard of the man taking the woman's name?


@newname0If the doctor's diploma(s) are in a different name (yes, I do read them when they are hanging on the wall at his practice) then I would think that was strange. 

 

We all know that it is much more common to see married women take their husband's name and use a hyphen when she doesn't want to give up her own family's name.

 

But there's really no logical reason to take the wife's family name. Yes, it is becoming more common but I think it's done to just buck convention and no, it's not that common.  

 

One doctor of mine has had a fascinating career that includes military and I thoroughly enjoyed reading each and every plaque and all his accomplishments that were in HIS name and I'm sure he wouldn't have had it any other way.  

 

 

 


This is common in MANY cultures. The US is a melting pot of people from all over the world. Following one's cultural traditions is neither illogical, rare, or done to "buck convention".

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,140
Registered: ‎06-20-2015

@NYC Susan wrote:
+++

@Alison Wonderland wrote:

Yes. Sometimes they both take the woman's name, sometimes they hyphenate, sometimes they do something else. When Alexa Vega married Carlos Pena, they both change their last name to PenaVega, no hypen.

I think it's a great idea. It's either neither partner or the woman who usually has to have her legal documentation changed - ID, social, credit cards, etc. - and this shares that burden evenly. 


 

 

 

(And I agree with those who have said that the doctor's choice of name is not really the OP's business.  Yes, he's into her personal business, but her visits with him are about HER, not about him or anything personal about him.  Unless I knew a doctor very well and was clear as to his comfort level, I would steer clear of asking personal questions, especially if it runs the risk of sounding judgmental.  Which in this case, it very well might have.)

 

They sent me a follow up questionaire to evaluate the doctor.  I referred to him as Dr. Jones eliminating he hyphenated name.  He is a nice guy but I will refer to him as Dr. Jones.  Thank you.

 


 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,457
Registered: ‎08-28-2010

Re: I'm confused

[ Edited ]

@newname0 wrote:

@NYC Susan wrote:
+++

@Alison Wonderland wrote:

Yes. Sometimes they both take the woman's name, sometimes they hyphenate, sometimes they do something else. When Alexa Vega married Carlos Pena, they both change their last name to PenaVega, no hypen.

I think it's a great idea. It's either neither partner or the woman who usually has to have her legal documentation changed - ID, social, credit cards, etc. - and this shares that burden evenly. 


 

 

 

(And I agree with those who have said that the doctor's choice of name is not really the OP's business.  Yes, he's into her personal business, but her visits with him are about HER, not about him or anything personal about him.  Unless I knew a doctor very well and was clear as to his comfort level, I would steer clear of asking personal questions, especially if it runs the risk of sounding judgmental.  Which in this case, it very well might have.)

 

They sent me a follow up questionaire to evaluate the doctor.  I referred to him as Dr. Jones eliminating he hyphenated name.  He is a nice guy but I will refer to him as Dr. Jones.  Thank you.

 


 


 Then you're being passive-aggressive and disrespectful because you know what his name is and refuse to use it .

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,846
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

 @newname0 wrote:




 

They sent me a follow up questionaire to evaluate the doctor.  I referred to him as Dr. Jones eliminating he hyphenated name.  He is a nice guy but I will refer to him as Dr. Jones.  Thank you.

 


 

Why not go one step further and find a doctor who thinks like you do?

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

We know a family....husband, wife, girl and boy...

 

The adults both kept their last names after marriage, and their children's last names are the combination of the parents full last names (no hyphen, but an actual combining of the two last names in full). 

 

So for instance one parent is Smith, one is Cline and their children's last name is Clinesmith. (I made up the names in this instance to protect the identity of the real family and their real names). 

 

I thought it was unique as a child is the product of both parents. 

 

I would find it to complicate things for genealogy search and similar things, but kind of a cool thing.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,345
Registered: ‎05-01-2010

I'm married to my second husband and still have my first husbands name. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,140
Registered: ‎06-20-2015

@qbetzforreal wrote:

@newname0 wrote:

@NYC Susan wrote:
+++

@Alison Wonderland wrote:

Yes. Sometimes they both take the woman's name, sometimes they hyphenate, sometimes they do something else. When Alexa Vega married Carlos Pena, they both change their last name to PenaVega, no hypen.

I think it's a great idea. It's either neither partner or the woman who usually has to have her legal documentation changed - ID, social, credit cards, etc. - and this shares that burden evenly. 


 

 

 

(And I agree with those who have said that the doctor's choice of name is not really the OP's business.  Yes, he's into her personal business, but her visits with him are about HER, not about him or anything personal about him.  Unless I knew a doctor very well and was clear as to his comfort level, I would steer clear of asking personal questions, especially if it runs the risk of sounding judgmental.  Which in this case, it very well might have.)

 

They sent me a follow up questionaire to evaluate the doctor.  I referred to him as Dr. Jones eliminating he hyphenated name.  He is a nice guy but I will refer to him as Dr. Jones.  Thank you.

 


 


 Then you're being passive-aggressive and disrespectful because you know what his name is and refuse to use it .


 

That's right.  Why do I have to refer to him as Dr. Smith-Jones instead of Dr. Jones.  Doesn't Dr. Jones sound more comforting or do I say "Dr. Smith-Jones what about this or Dr. Smith-Jones what about that " when I am with him?