Community Chat

[NYC Susan]

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@qbetzforreal wrote:

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@newname0 wrote:

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@NYC Susan wrote:
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@Alison Wonderland wrote:

Yes. Sometimes they both take the woman's name, sometimes they hyphenate, sometimes they do something else. When Alexa Vega married Carlos Pena, they both change their last name to PenaVega, no hypen.

I think it's a great idea. It's either neither partner or the woman who usually has to have her legal documentation changed - ID, social, credit cards, etc. - and this shares that burden evenly. 

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(And I agree with those who have said that the doctor's choice of name is not really the OP's business.  Yes, he's into her personal business, but her visits with him are about HER, not about him or anything personal about him.  Unless I knew a doctor very well and was clear as to his comfort level, I would steer clear of asking personal questions, especially if it runs the risk of sounding judgmental.  Which in this case, it very well might have.)

They sent me a follow up questionaire to evaluate the doctor.  I referred to him as Dr. Jones eliminating he hyphenated name.  He is a nice guy but I will refer to him as Dr. Jones.  Thank you.

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 Then you're being passive-aggressive and disrespectful because you know what his name is and refuse to use it .

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Absolutely.  

That's why I made the comment above about sounding judgmental.  She's not a fan of hyphenated names, and I'm sure her disapproval was apparent when she asked him the question.  That's rude.  And yes, refusing to use his actual name is most definitely passive-aggressive and disrespectful.  She should do him a favor, and find another doctor with a name that meets her approval.

[NYC Susan]

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@newname0 wrote:

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@qbetzforreal wrote:

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@newname0 wrote:

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@NYC Susan wrote:
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@Alison Wonderland wrote:

Yes. Sometimes they both take the woman's name, sometimes they hyphenate, sometimes they do something else. When Alexa Vega married Carlos Pena, they both change their last name to PenaVega, no hypen.

I think it's a great idea. It's either neither partner or the woman who usually has to have her legal documentation changed - ID, social, credit cards, etc. - and this shares that burden evenly. 

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(And I agree with those who have said that the doctor's choice of name is not really the OP's business.  Yes, he's into her personal business, but her visits with him are about HER, not about him or anything personal about him.  Unless I knew a doctor very well and was clear as to his comfort level, I would steer clear of asking personal questions, especially if it runs the risk of sounding judgmental.  Which in this case, it very well might have.)

They sent me a follow up questionaire to evaluate the doctor.  I referred to him as Dr. Jones eliminating he hyphenated name.  He is a nice guy but I will refer to him as Dr. Jones.  Thank you.

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 Then you're being passive-aggressive and disrespectful because you know what his name is and refuse to use it .

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That's right.  Why do I have to refer to him as Dr. Smith-Jones instead of Dr. Jones.  Doesn't Dr. Jones sound more comforting or do I say "Dr. Smith-Jones what about this or Dr. Smith-Jones what about that " when I am with him? 

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You should call him by his name.  Not what you think it should be.  You have no right to alter it for your own "comfort".

[CalminHeart]

I've seen lots of men who hyphenated their last name when they got married.  It's nice that they're willing to do so to honor their wives.