I'm In A Funk - Page 7

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

I know this will really sound off base but sometimes people we care the most about seem oblivious to our pain. Maybe a heart-to-heart talk with the SIL would open her eyes just a little more to what you are experiencing or confronting the MIL. Put the shoe back on them as it seems they don't mind putting it on you. Sometimes people just don't THINK!!! I cannot imagine the pain you are going through and only wish that good things could happen to you along your journey. May God put angels in your life to brighten and lighten your load.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:
@chickenbutt I'm sorry I made you cry, you must be a very kind person and take to heart other people's feelings. Reading the responses from everyone has made me teary eyed, people I don't really know offering advice, comfort, and good wishes, I wish people in my life would offer me the same. Take care and know I'm grateful to everyone here.

Youhave nothing to be sorry about. It just hit close to home and it is heartbreaking to hear about others who are struggling like this.

I just wanted you to know that you're not alone and I sincerely hope the best for you. Sometimes people do things that hurt others and it's a drag to be on the other end of that, especially when it would seem that they just aren't thinking, or sometimes caring, of how their words and deeds hurt others.

You get to the point that you harden up. Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's bad. By and large, I don't much trust humans, although there are some about whom I do care and trust. Then, when somebody burns you it's like 'I knew better' but I have learned that just never trusting no matter what isn't good, either. It's a tightrope, no?

Hope you're feeling better for now and are able to find a way to file this stuff and find joy in other areas. That's about all I know, at this point. Most of my joy comes from either animals or watching something funny on tv so I can laugh now and then.

Here's a pic I took one day that I hope might make you smile. It's of my favs of one of the squirrel babies in my back yard.

Porcelain · ‎02-19-2014

@chickenbutt I just wanted you to know you made my life better by sharing in this forum and I appreciate you.

Pretty sure you are the person who recommended Outshine frozen fruit pops. Well I tried them and I love them! Thank you so much for that recommendation. You made my 4th of July that much nicer.

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

@Porcelain wrote:
@chickenbutt I just wanted you to know you made my life better by sharing in this forum and I appreciate you.

Pretty sure you are the person who recommended Outshine frozen fruit pops. Well I tried them and I love them! Thank you so much for that recommendation. You made my 4th of July that much nicer.

Well, aren't you nice! Ok, I already knew that.

I think there were one or two others who also like the Outshine brand products in that thread. I'm so glad you tried them and love them. I just finished lunch and had a popsicle. Ok, I had two. It's hot.

I get the slender 'popsicle' types, that come in a box of 12, in both sugar and no sugar. I also like the wider ones (box of 6) in peach, grape, or coconut. For a few calories, and not much money for what you get, it's really worth it. Plus, I have a really hard time in the heat and they cool me off.

At least, I finally get to use the a/c some but not too much so I'm still always hot. It's been anywhere from highs in the low/mid 90s to just over 100 lately. Waiting impatiently for winter.

Hope you're having a lovely day and Thanks so much!

DSD2 · ‎01-09-2016

First, I am so very sorry for your loss. There are few things in life more painfrul than your mother's death. As it that were not difficult enough, I suspect the pandemic has not helped as most of us have experienced feelings of lonliness and hopelessness. Although it would be nice if someone in your family planned something for you, sometimes we must look to ourselves to find a bit of happiness. I agree with those who have sai, for your birfthday, do something you love with someone you love. Grief does not have a timetable. Some heartbreaks take longer to heal - do not be so hard on yourself. You have lost a brother and a mother and endured much. I think counseling is a good idea. Talk to a counselor or a religious person - with whomever you are most comfortable with. God bless you.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

When my friend (she was 61 at the time) lost her husband very unexpectedly several years ago she went to a grief share program at a local church.

She said it really helped her. I did not press her about the meetings but I know it was a small group of men and women, a work book to use and a good moderator. It would not hurt to find a group.

Another friend lost her husband probably 10 ish years ago, she got anxiety meds from her doctor at the time and still does not feel like she could cope with out them....

Everyone is different...it took me a year to get past my mom's death, same for my dad. I am much younger than my husband and dread the day we are separated by death...no kids either but I do have a couple of great friends that I will most likely have to lean on...I hope you find some peace.

homedecor1 · ‎03-09-2010

Thank you @qualitygal

I just had this conversation with younger son & DIL life changes in seconds ...live for what makes you happy & brings you joy ...

Years and years of trying to "change & figure out" my spouse I woke up one day and decided my mental health & happiness is more important.

certainly not to take away from @Jordan2 and others facing sad moments ...praying these will become wonderful memories vs sadness someday.

Jersey Born · ‎03-10-2010

@Jordan2 - I don't know why I didn't see your post until now. I am sorry about your funk, and sadness, and I hope you can find a way out of it. It is terrible to miss those you love who have passed. Something I learned in a grief group was to get a journal and write entries (letters) to my loved ones, and entries to capture favorite moments shared with that person in detail. I think that helped me greatly.

If you have a particular interest like cooking, or nature, or fine arts, or sports, or anything at all-- dogs or cats of a particular breed, etc., perhaps go out to a bookstore and find a book you would love to read that will absorb you for hours.

I would have loved to have taken you out to a nice dinner to celebrate your birthday and listen to all of your happy memories about your loved ones who have passed, in order to help you heal your heart and get to a better emotional state.

I wish you the best, and I hope that you have found a way to feel much better. Everyone who is capable of opening their heart to let others in, feels a big empty hole of sadness when they lose one or more of their loved ones. Being able to love that deeply is a gift, not a deficiency. Count yourself lucky that you are capable of such a depth of feeling for others. You are a caring person.

lynnie61 · ‎04-28-2010

@Jordan2 I also don’t know how I missed this post. I know you cared for your mom, and lost her last year. I know grief has no timeline. Sometimes other people in our lives just really disappoint us. I know from several threads that you are a kind and caring person. I’m sorry you feel so sad. Try to focus on things your mom loved. Some of those thoughts and memories will make you smile.

So sorry I missed this thread and your birthday, sometimes we just need reinforcement that others care. Please let us know how you are doing. Many wonderful comments and advice here. So many wonderful posters that truly do care. Many of us would have liked to make your birthday special! Please try to reach out for some counseling, as others said, you reach out here, and people listen. It may not be easy at first, but it will be great to open up about your sadness and grief. The pandemic certainly didn’t help either. You are not alone. Hugs ((()))