Community Chat

[Medic_1]

I can't believe she is really gone. She was 14 years old. I have no more tears left to cry. She had the best things in life, was happy and so healthy until wednesday when she seemed a bit 'off'. Then her appetite decreased (and being a veterinary technician and a Flight Paramedic) I carefully syringe fed her a special 'critical care' diet, tried to keep her warm and hydrated on her favorite bed (mine) with fleece sheets and heated mattress pads. She seemed so cold. I worried about her during my 24 hr flight paramedic shift away from her, and was relieved this morning to see she was still with me. But she looked very sick. Tonight I had her wrapped in all her toasty blankets on my bed and walked in to check on her and tell her I loved her, and she began to make a strange sound. One that is all too familiar from all my past years working in the Vet ER. I got hysterical, telling her how much I loved her and gathered her up in my arms in her warm blankets and got ready to say goodbye. If you can ever be ready. She died in my arms 5 minutes later. I am in shock. I don't know what to think. I give my all as a Paramedic but I know sometimes that isn't enough. But I can't accept that with her. Everynight I have spent in this bed she has been at my side, purring and content to stay there until I get up. How will I manage to sleep now? I feel so empty. Any advice or prayers are so appreciated. Thanks for letting my say it.