I am angry and sick with grief this morning - Page 10

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@panda1234 wrote:
@drizzellla
You are so right. I work in a nursing home and so many bad things go on between residents and they are not removed. Even in the more upscale facilities this goes on. This is stressful for the staff as it is added work keeping a close eye on these people while trying to take care of ill and dying residents. Hate to say, bottom line is it is a business and $$$$$ have to keep the beds full.

***************** You make some very good points. I personally think every patient, no matter how rich or poor, should have their own room. The new home Dad is in has semi-private rooms that are very close to being private. Most of the residents roaming the halls are in wheel chairs. The particular man they put in with Dad is a very spry and spunky elderly man. No cane, walker, wheel chair, or anything. You are right....he roams the halls and dips into a room and the nurses and aides are so busy in other residents rooms that they don't know where he even is. We are hoping that this incident and our reporting it will be a serious warning to them that they need to take steps to protect the other residents there.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

The OP here does not seem to understand that many people with senility or altzheimers tend to wander aimlessly about. There is nothing the home can do about it as they are not allowed BY LAW to restrain or sedate these patients. If anyone could come up with a method to prevent them wandering around bothering other patients or getting lost , getting into other patients beds or their belongings while staying with in the constraints of the law they could make billions of dollars overnight! They frequently fall and hurt themselves then their families get upset, but the fact is that the law does not allow them to be restrained except under very specific circumstances. For instance in ICU to prevent them pulling out lines or tubes, but even then the restraints must be ordered daily by the doctor and he must document every day WHY he feels they are necessary. So if you think moving someone to a different facility will prevent them having the same issues - it most likely will not, unless you pay for a facility with private rooms and /or hire private duty round the clock care for your relative.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@151949

I am aware of these laws. As I stated, they made a conscious decision to put this man in a room with a feeble sick man unable to defend himself. They knew about this mans former aggressions with other reisidents. If enough people would stand up against this type of thing maybe we could get some of these laws changed and force these homes to be more accountable or consider better ways of handling these people. Laws can be changed to protect the innocent....even this elderly man who is demented. I can only imagine how horrified his family must feel, too..

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

For years and years these patients were gently restrained in geri chairs - a chair with a tray like a highchair - but in response to families who did not want their family restrained new laws were written. The complaint AGAINST any restraint at all were loud & numerous. The vast majority are against it.

Honestly, this man is not in control of his thoughts, he did not hurt your father at all. I think you are making way more of this than necessary, IMO.

Bri36 · ‎02-20-2017

@151949 wrote:
For years and years these patients were gently restrained in geri chairs - a chair with a tray like a highchair - but in response to families who did not want their family restrained new laws were written. The complaint AGAINST any restraint at all were loud & numerous. The vast majority are against it.
Honestly, this man is not in control of his thoughts, he did not hurt your father at all. I think you are making way more of this than necessary, IMO.

You cannot be serious.

Where do you get off telling someone that?

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

While not allowed to restrain or medicate these people, they CAN devote an entire wing to them, making sure they are together and not allowed to be with patients who can't defend themselves!

My Dad was in a skilled nursing home, too weak to sit, stand even turn over. I won't go into my own experience but will state that I was my Dad's advocate and he needed one where he was. I contacted CANHR, (Calif Advocates for Nursing Home Reform) and utilized their services providing lawyers and information (donations only). They were invaluable, you might want to check your state for this kind of help. Also, what happened to your Dad is outrageous and should not have happened.

You may even consider notifying the local news (when or if you have to) they tend to air stories like this.... and I know for a fact that Convalescent homes/Nursing homes will do anything to avoid negative publicity.

Whatever the problems are with the facility and/or the staff, those problems ARE NOT the problem of your Dad or your family. I am absolute in this. I fought this for two years and was threatened by the head nurse and then the owner of the facility (they threatened to take my Dad to a center too far for us to visit him!!) That did not happen!!

It's been a very long time now, but I get as upset and angry now about this kind of thing as I did then....

Do whatever you need to do to protect your Dad within the Law!!

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

@Bri36 wrote:
@151949 wrote:
For years and years these patients were gently restrained in geri chairs - a chair with a tray like a highchair - but in response to families who did not want their family restrained new laws were written. The complaint AGAINST any restraint at all were loud & numerous. The vast majority are against it.
Honestly, this man is not in control of his thoughts, he did not hurt your father at all. I think you are making way more of this than necessary, IMO.
You cannot be serious.

Where do you get off telling someone that?

@151949

Unbelievable

I have compassion for these patients but not to the detriment of my family member. Even back when my Dad was in a facility, they had a wing or two devoted to the patients struggling with mental disease. They were not restrained, were not drugged and were not allowed to leave the wing!

Had this happened to my Dad, he would have been abjectly mortified~! Then (because he could not defend himself, not being able to get away)... he would have been afraid to sleep for fear of another person getting in bed with him.

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@151949 wrote:
For years and years these patients were gently restrained in geri chairs - a chair with a tray like a highchair - but in response to families who did not want their family restrained new laws were written. The complaint AGAINST any restraint at all were loud & numerous. The vast majority are against it.
Honestly, this man is not in control of his thoughts, he did not hurt your father at all. I think you are making way more of this than necessary, IMO.

************** I see through this post. That's all I'm going to say.

Shawnie · ‎03-10-2010

@Snoopp wrote:
I would file a report with the police. And get an attorney.

I am glad you moved your Dad but I fear this person will repeat the behavior with another resident.

Hope your Dad is doing better now.

Yes, the police shoukd be involved.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

There are always family dynamics going on in situations like this. My mother does not want to sue. She is 89. She would be overwhelmed. I did suggest to her if it came to that and the home lied...... we could take any money and give it to charity. While she seemed to like that idea, I can tell she is not on board to sue.

Also .....None of us really want to jeopardize the jobs of those who revealed this mans history to us. These people put their jobs at risk telling us what they did. There are always a few who show more care than others. Dad was fond of them also.

I left a message on an answering machine when I called our state board of health dept. I was told someone would get back with me within 24 hours. They actually got back with me in about an hour or so. To me, that was a good sign. I mentioned in my message to them the incident that happened with my Dad. The woman I talked to (in length) told me right then and there that there would be an investigation. I am just waiting to hear from them.

The fact that this man showed up at my Dad's door multiple times After the first attempt......in broad daylight....... and even got into his room again infuriates me. Between the three of us (my mother, sister, and I....we witnessed him outside of dad's door peering in on 3 seperate occassions.....and yes, this was also After his first attempt to molest my Dad. Also a nurse told me the day before we got him out of there....she looked down the hall and he was turning into dads room once again. She told me she took off and ran as fast as she could. She caught up with him but not until he had went into Dad's room. Dad happened to have a friend visiting who also witnessed this. I have said to myself many times. What if this nurse hadn't looked up from her chart at that moment and what if his friend hadn't been there. I believe it could very well have happened again.