Community Chat

[Plaid Pants2]

Today, I went to a local day spa and pampered myself.

I treated myself to a massage, a facial and a hair cut and color.

It has been years since I last had a head-to-toe massage, and a facial.

Both were nice and relaxing.

Then I got a badly needed hair cut and color.

I haven't paid attention to my hair since January!

My hair looks so much better now.

I haven't gone because life got in the way, and I put my hair last.

The bill came to $315.00

Then dad and I went out for a very nice dinner.

He wanted the king crab legs (market price), because he hadn't had them in years.

Who am I do deny my father what he wants?

I had the king crab legs too, plus one cocktail, one glass of champagne, and for dessert, creme brule.

The total came to a whopping $218!😮

The crab legs alone were $121!

As I was settling up the bill, the waitress asked if it was somebody's birthday.

I said that it was, and she thought that it was my dad's.

I told her no, that it was mine.

"Oh, you should have said something! We would have put a candle in your dessert!"

I said that that was fine, that I wanted to keep it low key.

Dad said that he didn't even remember it.

On the drive home, Dad said, "It's your birthday, isn't it?"

I said that it was.

Then he said, "I'm sorry that I didn't get you a card."

I told him that that was okay, and not to feel bad about it.

Truth is, I knew that he wasn't going to remember that today was my birthday.

I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't hurt.

It does.

But I can't get mad at him for it.

What good would that do?

I'd feel bad.

He'd feel bad.

And I would feel bad for making him feel bad.

That's the thing about taking care of a loved one with memory loss.

The dates that were once celebrated, they forget.

Anniversaries.

Your birthday.

The birthdays of your children and grandchildren.

I don't feel sad for me, I feel sad for him.

I'm not here looking for sympathy, or "woe is me", or "poor me".

It is what it is.

This is my reality.

I may not like it, and at times I don't, but it is what it is.

So, happy 47th birthday to me.

[BirdieGal]

Happy Birthday to you! I am so glad that you pampered yourself and were able to be with your father.

I know you know it’s not his fault. 

Have a a nice rest of your special day 💖🎂

[Kachina624]

I'm sure you treasure your dad for who and what he is now in addition to what he used to be.  You're lucky to still have him.

Sounds like you had a nice birthday 🎂  You did the right thing... if you've got nobody to treat you, treat yourself.

[Free2be]

You did well for yourself!  I like how you did it, too!  And your attitude, you know what's important.  Being with you dad is priceless and we take life as it comes.

Embrace the reality of what is instead of what can't be (about remembering).  It's so great that you were able to treat your dad that way. 

[WenGirl42]

Happy birthday, @Plaid Pants2! You are a loving and caring daughter. If it helps alleviate the hurt at all, your Dad didn't forget your birthday. His brain just doesn't work how it used to. 

[kivah]

I'd give anything to have a special Birthday Dinner with my mom!!!!! She passed away from cancer 35 yrs ago. We were so close - like twins. 

You did the right thing by pampering yourself --- we all deserve to be treated to a facial, massage and a dinner with glorious food.

We all need to treat ourselves -- probably more often than we think.

I just ordered 4 jars of English Laundry men's cologne; 1 pair of 14KT Yellow Gold, Diamond Cut Teardrop Earrings - leverback; and 1 pair of 14KT 1.37" Gold Hoop Earrings, made in Italy --- all from Costco on-line.

A few years ago, a male roomie gave me several sample bottles of men's cologne -- and I loved wearing them.

My birthday is the end of November- so it will be an early birthday present to myself. I know u enjoyed ur birthday --- and keep celebrating for as long as u want.

[Daisy Sunflower]

Glad you and your dad had a nice dinner together. It sounds like you had a good day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!

[LeoGrl]

Happy Birthday! Thanks for sharing what you did on your special day.

[phoenixbrd]

@Plaid Pants2 Happy Birthday to a loving beautiful spirited 47 year old woman!  You deserved all the pampering and having a lovely evening with your father who obviously loves you.  A memorable birthday!

[homedecor1]

@Plaid Pants2

What a great way to pamper YOU and share your bday with your dad! (I would give anything to be able to share any moment with my dad who passed away 30 years ago ☹️ I miss him every minute of everyday - he was my best friend!)  

I'm sure he may not remember birthdays, etc. BUT remembers the many wonderful memories from long ago (I'm assuming he has a form of dementia/Alzheimer's) & appreciates having a wonderful caring daughter like YOU & crab legs too!!!