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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,322
Registered: ‎02-22-2015

Re: I Need Some Advice

[ Edited ]

@SXMGirl  Following the crash that has left me in a back brace, many friends and neighbors have helped in various ways (and continue to do so). I've never had to ask for help; they have been thoughtful enough to offer as the need arose.

 

Yes, I also feel they deserve some kind of gift for their time and trouble. Men, I've given gift cards. Women, I have taken out to lunch or dinner. Couples, have received tickets to local productions. My son and DIL have received several "date nights" to their favorite restaurants and movie tickets, while my grandson has spent the night with me!

Didn't expect this entire accident or the expenses which have followed but everyone has been so kind and helpful, the very least I'm able to do is write a thank you note and show my appreciation in a small way. At this point, I don't know if I'll be able to return the favors in full. This ensures they are aware of my gratitude. I do not take their friendships lightly.  

Money screams; wealth whispers.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,407
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

@BirkiLady  I hope that you are feeling better and continue toward a full recovery.

 

I did thank my friend for the gift card even though it was unexpected.  Our agreement was that she would treat to lunch when she was financially able to do so.   That was her idea and I agreed.  Personally, I don't care about any of that.  I was just happy to do it.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,028
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

@SXMGirl as others have advised, accept the gift card and thank your friend for her gift.  You said she has no one else, so treat her to lunch or dinner or stop by with a Spring plant or bouquet (nothing too showy) just to brighten her day.I

 

The gift card is her way of showing her appreciation for your kindness.  I am pretty sure she is happy to have a friend like you.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,322
Registered: ‎02-22-2015

Re: I Need Some Advice

[ Edited ]

@SXMGirl  Write her a thank you note and offer to take her to lunch with the gift card! Perhaps she'll be pleased not to have to pay for lunch. Imagine she was very uncomfortable with that thought of when and where looming in the future. At least she knows she's able to afford the gift card she sent to you. She probably had fun surprising you! 

 

Thanks for your kind words. Two of the three fractures are mending; the third is not. If all had gone as hoped, I would have been out of this brace about now. At least six more  weeks. I am sleeping without it and grateful for that small step!

Money screams; wealth whispers.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,517
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

Re: I Need Some Advice

[ Edited ]

@SXMGirl wrote:

Here's the story:

 

Last week, I took a friend to a doctor appointment that required her to be sedated.  I volunteered to take her, she did not ask me, and I told her that it did not matter to me when she made her appointment.  I treated her to lunch after her procedure.  Everything is fine.

 

Today, in the mail, I get a thank you plus a $50 gift card, money that I know she cannot afford.  I did not volunteer to take her to her appointment with the idea of getting any compensation.  I am not happy about this.  I realize that she had no one else to take her, but I don't think this is right.

 

So, any suggestions on how to handle this?  It is an Amazon card, which I can always use, but I am uncomfortable with this, and maybe just a little offended that she thinks I should be paid for doing someithng that friends should do for each other.

 

What would you do?  TIA!

 


@SXMGirlYou do not know what she thinks.  The world is filled with ungratefulness all over.  When we get offended, even "a little", because a person wanted to do something nice as a "thank you", well then I just have to smh.

 

She "paid it forward", even though it was to the person who did somthing nice for her.

Or did you just want to be the only nice person and feel she took some of the wind out of your sails? 

 

Be thankful your friend is a thoughtful one and enjoy the gift.

 

 

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,602
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

That was very nice of her. Buy yourself something you want and enjoy it. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,318
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

@SXMGirl that was very kind of you to take her, I'm sure she appreciated it very much. Even if you think she can't afford the gift card you should keep it. She wanted you to have it and you would hurt her feelings if you tried to return it to her. I'll bet she would be happy if you wrote her a note of thanks for the gift card.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,407
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

@Cakers3 Or did you just want to be the only nice person and feel she took some of the wind out of your sails? 

 

No one took any wind out of my sails.  I did nothing special and did nothing that any friend would not do.  This was not a contest.

 

Anyway, for those reading, the situation is over, she has been thanked for the gift card, she said that she knew that I would not want it, but she said it was not about her. 

 

The End!

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

 

@SXMGirl 

 

I would go see her and tell her, "I appreciate your kind gesture", but!!  ADD your own words.

 

 

 

hckynut

hckynut(john)
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,775
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: I Need Some Advice

[ Edited ]

@SXMGirl 

 

I know you know this, but just as you wanted to do this for your friend, she wants to do something for you.

 

To Many of us (obviously you) the gift of being able to ‘do’ for those we care about is very precious.  My Mom always packed me sandwiches in ziplocks when I drove back to school, I was smirky about it (like really was I going to starve on a four hour road trip?) until one day I realized it was a baggie full of love.  I know this sounds SO schmaltzy!  

But true.

 

Anyway, I know you wouldn’t deprive anyone of the chance to do something for you.  But, I understand that you didn’t expect any payment, and feel bad because of her financial circumstances.

 

Thanks for being a kind hearted friend.

 

*** Edited, another typo!

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras