Community Chat

[Nightowlz]

I understand how you feel since I would feel the same way. I don't want money especially from people that don't have it.

Since she had a procedure that required a ride is she at home not able to drive now? Could she use a few meals while recouping? Just a thought don't know her situation.

[Sooner]

@SXMGirl   You are "offended?"  Really?  That someone wanted to do something nice for you?

I think you need to think long and hard about that and why on earth you would be offended.  I think it is hard in relationships if one person always has to be the giver.  It sometimes makes the receiver feel "less than."

[SXMGirl]

@Sooner  I am offended that she would feel the need to pay for a ride from a friend.  I don't see why anyone would want payment for this unless in the taxi business.

@Nightowlz  She is fine and able to drive now.  Thanks for asking.

[CelticCrafter]

I would say thank you, you know you really didn't have to do that.  I will use it for something special or frivolous.

I recently had a friend do something for me that she really didn't have to do and I sent her a small gift basket to thank her.

[Scooby Doo]

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@SXMGirl wrote:

@chrystaltree  I am hoping that she is regifting since I know that right now she is having financial difficulties. 

@Scooby Doo  I had already told her that if she needs to go anywhere, I will be glad to take her.

It is absolutely not about me.  Taking someone to an appointment is what friends do, especially when they have friends who have no one else.

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It's a done deal.  Let it go.

[Sooner]

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@SXMGirl wrote:

@Sooner  I am offended that she would feel the need to pay for a ride from a friend.  I don't see why anyone would want payment for this unless in the taxi business.

@Nightowlz  She is fine and able to drive now.  Thanks for asking.

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@SXMGirl  Do you think she would feel offended that you couldn't accept a gift from her?  Isn't that the same thing? I can't see where "offended" fits in any of this situation.  I think both need to lighten up and simply accept things with gratitude. Sometimes simply accepting help or thanks with joy is the biggest reward.   It goes both ways. 

[Greeneyedlady21]

@SXMGirl I understand where you are coming from. You are a good hearted person who believes people should do things for others without any expectations of personal gain. I believe that too. Unfortunately we live in a world and time in which many people don't believe that.

When my Mom was on hospice at home two neighbors helped me keep a generator going during a long power outage last March. It broke my heart that I had two brothers who did nothing. It was par for the course but still so painful. I gave the neighbors gift cards to show my appreciation. That's how my Mom raised me, to always show gratitude and appreciation.

Maybe your friend is in a similar situation with family or other friends who don't help. So she would feel so eternally grateful to you that she wants to express it.

Maybe you could write her a note and say thank you so much for the gift card but she doesn't need to do that again going forward. That you are happy to help her.

[on the bay]

@SXMGirl -

I can imagine how you would feel but also if I was her in that situation, I would be so grateful, that it would be a natural thing and give me happiness to give you something.

I think if you look at it that way, maybe you will feel not so much that "she didn't have to do it" but just like you helped her because you care about her and you wanted to, she felt that she really wanted to do something for you because it meant so much to her what you did for her.

[QVCkitty1]

I understand how you feel, but try to understand her point of view. I have a difficult time accepting help, so I kind of know how she feels. Since she is on her own your kind gesture meant a lot to her. Accept her thanks, saying something will just make her feel bad.

[QVCalm]

It could be SHE doesn't have a NEED to pay; it's maybe SHE has the WANT to show how much you are appreciated. The WANT is more freeing.