Community Chat

[speedy girl]

My Mom and I always had the ability to sit and talked for hours. But one thing that drove me crazy was how she loved to tell me about all the neighbors, every little thing that she knew about them she wanted to tell me. And of course, it was nobody that I knew and most of the stories were not that interesting. But I would always listen and let her talk. I miss those days and the neighborhood news! 

[wagirl]

It was hard to love my mom the last 20 years of her life--she turned into a very demanding, hurtful woman who abandoned her kids, the grand kids and even her great grands---was bitter and negative and died alone in a nursing facility. she had severe depression yet refused to get help. I forgive her but can't forget. She never knew I had stage 3 breast cancer either----would have been nice to have a mom to go thru all that with---

[vermint]

I loved my mom dearly, and miss her every day (been gone for 12 years), but she did sometimes drive me nuts!

She was a worrier, about everything! Worried about whether the sun was gonna rise in the east and set in the west, lol.

She LOVED to give advice, whether I wanted to hear it or not. 

She never ate anything I cooked without giving me "constructive" criticism. I finally just started taking her out for meals.

I finally had to tell her that my weight was not going to be a topic of conversation with us anymore. Every. Single. Time that we visited, it came up. Now, mind you, she was overweight for much of her life as well, and couldn't make herself do anything about it.

On the plus side, she loved us dearly, would have given her life for me and my brothers, and did without a lot of nice things so that what little money there was could be spent on us.

[eadu4]

I loved my mom.  She was pretty much a saint.  She didn't swear, always found something nice to say about everyone, was an amazing grandmother and was an excellent cook.  HOWEVER...she pretty much let my sister who was no where near as "endowed" as me to wear a bikini, me?  I was shall we say "blessed" and she tried to get me into a literal turtleneck one piece suit.  No lie.  This sucker had a huge zipper that ran from the chest to my neck.  I had a tiny body otherwise, but my mom always chased me around, putting safety pins in my button down shirts,  sewing my cleavages up.   It drove me nuts as a teenager.  She was a beautiful lady but *whew* I was glad to get to college where I could wear a shirt that wasn't sewn shut!!! 

[GoneButNotForgotten]

what drove me crazy (and out of the house as soon as possible), was that she was a mean alcoholic. 

[GoneButNotForgotten]

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@withaK wrote:

I have always had a troubled relationship with my mother. I see it now as a much older person that she didn't understand me and feared my "oddness" would reflect poorly on our family and that I would never, ever find a man to marry me much less tolerate me.

I keep my distance bc that is best for me and our relationship. I admire girls who would say their Mom is their bestfriend ! Not so me....the woman can make a hell of a meatloaf and is capable of Mother Teresa-like compassion....I can strive for those things.

Happy Mothers Day to all Moms and all the ways we can Mother be we godmothers, aunts, petmoms etc and to our Dads who take on the role of Mother.

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Bless your heart for having the courage to share this.

There are a lot of people who've had the same situation but were afraid to mention it for fear that they'd be looked down upon, criticized for saying their mothers were imperfect and/or downright abusive, etc. 

[mima]

I love my mom and we are best friends.  However there is one thing that drives me nuts.  She worries about my husband and I like we are teenagers.  We are ages 65 abd 66 and if we go anywhere, we need to call her or text when we get home.  I do call her every morning except Sundays.  On Sundays we sleep in and watch movies all day.  I have to text her in the morning that I'll call later.  Then I have to call her sometime during the day.  If I don't text her that I'm going to call her later, she will call me at maybe 8 AM.  If we don't answer, she gets frantic.  Sometimes we don't tell her we are going somewhere because she worries about us getting home safe.

She has lost almost all her familiy members including 2 husbands and my brother.  So she is worried sick she will lose me/us too I guess.

Like they say, your kids will always be your kids even though we are on medicare and social security!  LOL

[HallowsEve]

@GoneButNotForgotten  I know exactly what you're talking about!! Mine too was an alcoholic.  Never knew what to expect, how she would act or what she would say. Many times she'd start dinner & never get it completed, she'd pass out first. She wasn't always mean but definetly not easy to be around. Towards the end of her life, she's been gone 25yrs, she did stop drinking but so much damage done by then. Somehow I do miss her, when she was sober she was so wonderful & enjoyable.