Re: I Can't Stop Crying

Bird mama · ‎03-12-2010

Jordan @Jordan2 I've been where you find yourself right now and I'm sending you good thoughts and prayers across the miles.

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise

Gabbs1 · ‎08-19-2013

My heart goes out to you during this difficult time of having to make dissisions about your mom's care. I was not furtunite enough to have my mother around for that long, she passed away at age 68 from cancer when I was 36 years old. It was hard for me as well, knowing that her end was drawing near and me living in an other country, unable to take care of her did not help either. I have been without my mother for many, many years now and still miss her, that is something that will stay with you forever. I am the lone survivor from the family I came out of, there is nobody left but myself. I am blessed however to still have a husband and our son with his family of 3 children that are all married and have children themselves, so I am a great grandma. I will keep you in my prayers, asking that God will guide you in the dissisions you will have to make and to give you peace in your heart about it. God bless you

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@Jordan2,

You are already MUCH stronger than you realize by telling your mom it is okay for her to go if/when it’s her time, and not to hang on because of you and your sister.

Our loved ones need to hear that it is okay for them to leave us, so they can let go with peace.

I witnessed my dad leave this world so peacefully after mom, my brothers and I said our goodbyes, that I have never, for one single moment doubted he is at peace, or felt a need to deeply grieve his passing. My dad left us 16 years ago, and I can hardly believe so much time has passed. I honestly feel my dad never left this place; Mom still feels his presence in the house, and I feel he and my grandparents are still right here on the farm they loved so much, watching over us.

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

I went to visit my mother this morning at 6:00 am. She is in isolation so you need to put on a mask, gloves, and gown, the room is also kept closed. Anyway I was told they're prepping her for a colonoscopy and endoscopy! I said no, my sister and I don't want to put her through those two procedures. Who thinks this is a good idea in a woman who is almost 92 years old, to what end? My mother told me she is tired of everything she is going through. She is a good woman, I wonder why isn't God being merciful and taking her?

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

@Jordan2 wrote:
I went to visit my mother this morning at 6:00 am. She is in isolation so you need to put on a mask, gloves, and gown, the room is also kept closed. Anyway I was told they're prepping her for a colonoscopy and endoscopy! I said no, my sister and I don't want to put her through those two procedures. Who thinks this is a good idea in a woman who is almost 92 years old, to what end? My mother told me she is tired of everything she is going through. She is a good woman, I wonder why isn't God being merciful and taking her?

My sympathies go out to both you and your sister. It is harder on those who will be left behind.

Even though I have all the orders in place, once DD had to have palliative care step in. This is a service that facilitates choices, it is not hospice. Could you ask them to help make choices and enforce them? She said it was a blessing.

Dawnie · ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2

I am so sorry to hear of your sweet Moms troubles. Prayers for her and you. I just went through this with a loved one. The hosp sent him to nursing home, the home sent him back to hosp. Ping pong effect. He passed after 4 weeks in hosp. God was good to him. He was very sick.
It's so hard for you and your sister managing your Moms care, insurance co. Legalities, Nursing home recommendations, on and on. Cyber hugs go out to you. Please keep us abreast of your journey. We're here for you.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2 thank her for being your mom ,and hold her hand ,and tell her you love her ,and it is OK to go, because you are going to be fine

Dawnie · ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2

I totally agree with @Still Raining . Pallaitive care is a blessing. They gave our loved one endoscopy at the end. There was no need. Our loved one continually stated he was ready to "check out"
The merciful Doctor ordered palliative care with us signing a DNR on Dec 12th Our loved one was finally at peace. It was beautiful.

Snowhite714 · ‎06-30-2014

@Jordan2 wrote:
In addition to what I'm going through with my mother, I have a terrible cold probably because I didn't take care of myself. My sister and niece went to visit my mother (I stayed away today), well they go in and my mom isn't there. She was moved, she has shingles and is in isolation in a private room. She was moved either last night or this morning, why didn't anyone call my sister or me? I spoke to my mother today by phone, she said she's tired of all of this, like she wants to move on. I told her if she wanted to go, go, don't hold on for me and my sister, it was the hardest thing I ever said, it broke my heart.

@Jordan2 You did the right thing. Put her mind at ease, let her know that you and your sister are fine and will be fine after she leaves because she raised two strong daughters. If Mom really is ready to move on she'll likely begin to refuse any meds that she may be taking, stop eating, drinking, etc. It's a process. Be strong. And take care of that cold.

Snowhite714 · ‎06-30-2014

@Jordan2 wrote:
I went to visit my mother this morning at 6:00 am. She is in isolation so you need to put on a mask, gloves, and gown, the room is also kept closed. Anyway I was told they're prepping her for a colonoscopy and endoscopy! I said no, my sister and I don't want to put her through those two procedures. Who thinks this is a good idea in a woman who is almost 92 years old, to what end? My mother told me she is tired of everything she is going through. She is a good woman, I wonder why isn't God being merciful and taking her?

@Jordan2 Again the right decison. Please know that you are doing the right thing. At this point and based on what I hear from you, you don't want any invasive procedures done on your Mom and for what? Believe in yourself and your decisions, your goal is for your Mom to be comfortable and at peace, no suffering.