Community Chat

[jubilant]

If the other person doesn't love you and wants out of the relationship, that really only leaves you with one choice and that is to move on.

 When you find the person who loves you more than life itself and nothing but nothing could tear him or her away from you, you will be glad this person broke up with you.  It might be hard to see now when you are grieving but there is someone else out there you can love just as much and probably more!

 The goal is to have someone love you as much as you love them.

[Mominohio]

I'd grieve and move on. 

I've never believed in that whole "one and only soul mate" thing. The world is full of wonderful people, and for every minute we spend forcing relationships that don't work (for whatever reason), or pining away over a lost relationship, is time were missing out on looking for or spending time with people that we are really meant to be with, that will love us and give us someone to love. And I mean this for spouses, friends, etc. 

[rrpell]

As Tim Minchin put it in his song If I Didn’t Have You:

Your love is one in a million
You couldn’t buy it at any price.
But of the 9.999 hundred thousand other loves,
Statistically, some of them would be equally nice.

[suzyQ3]

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@151949 wrote:

Boy, OP, I see this from 2 different points of view. I dated my high school boyfriend from junior high thru the year after HS. Then we broke up. I pined for him a long time. Then I met the man who was to be the love of my life. We married - we were totally happy - and he died suddenly when I was 30 years old. I thought I would never get over him. The pain was so horrible ! Even after a couple years I couldn't imagine going on without him. But time & great parents did wonders for me and eventually my old HS boyfriend reappears in my life. To make a long story short - we got married 34 years ago and we're still married.He isn't the love of my life - that is a once in a lifetime position and mine was already filled - but he is my strength, he is where I feel safe & comfortable. He and I know everything there is to know about each other - good & bad and we accept each other totally.We grew up together and now we will grow old together. We have the same values because we developed those values growing up together. He accepts my step children & my grandchildren as his own and loves them completely.

So that is the story of my lovelife ! All I can say is never say never - when we do that , God laughs.

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@151949, that really is a wonderful story. Good for you for moving on to meet the love of your life and then moving on (or moving back) later in life to be with what sounds like your best friend.

[chrystaltree]

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@Lion wrote:

I've honestly never known anyone who said they'd wait forever for someone after they broke up.

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       I know.  If you get dumped by someone......what is there to wait for??? 

[suzyQ3]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

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@Lion wrote:

I've honestly never known anyone who said they'd wait forever for someone after they broke up.

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       I know.  If you get dumped by someone......what is there to wait for??? 

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@chrystaltree& @Lion -- Godot?

[Drythe]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

In my 20s I think I might make the mistake of saying I would wait.  Knowing what I know now, would just move on never looking back.

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@CrazyDaisy

In my 20s I too might think I'd wait.  One good thing about time, it does teach some valuable lessons.

[IMW]

Move on, if they came back I'd give them the boot.

[RoughDraft]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

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@Lion wrote:

I've honestly never known anyone who said they'd wait forever for someone after they broke up.

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       I know.  If you get dumped by someone......what is there to wait for??? 

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It sounds like something Olivia deHaviland did in the movie "Heiress."   However, for her waiting was the ultimate revenge.   This kind of thing doesn't happen in real life. One has to move on. 

[Irshgrl31201]

I disagree that it doesn't matter the reason he dumped you. I think that is a huge deciding factor. Let me say when I read that ANYONE would wait for another person FOREVER, I am assuming that is hyperbole. Why in the world would someone wait on another person for years and years even if it were your fault for the break up. I could see the person waiting for a bit for the love of their life if they were the reason for the break up. If you felt or knew you were responsible and you made a mistake that caused it, I could see waiting for a bit but for the rest of you life or even years. No. That isn't healthy first of all not to move on when someone else obviously has and doesn't want to be with you. Why would anyone do that to themselves?

I don't know who this about but if a person is really waiting that long, they need counseling to see what it is about themselves that would make them wait that long on someone who didn't want to be with them and why they don't think they deserve happiness or maybe why they think they possibly have an esteem issue that would hold them back from moving on. 

I can see a person not dating for a while after a bad breakup but to hold out hope for years? No, that is something that should be addressed with a counselor. That is a problem and not healthy at all.