Re: How would you feel/react if ..

beckyb1012 · ‎03-09-2010

Moved, kindness is less likely to cause indigestion.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."

CardinalGirl · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/9/2015 moonchilde said:
On 3/9/2015 CardinalGirl said:
On 3/8/2015 moonchilde said:
On 3/8/2015 SoftRaindrops said: Moonchilde, I can sympathize. He was rude and personally, I would have told him I was unable to get up. No excuses, and then I would simply have ignored him. I guess I have just lived a long time and do what I want and I don't care if some stranger thinks I'm not nice.

Thanks, SR :-) I too am not overly concerned what strangers think, so all the "you are just a silly rude person" responses without anything more constructive doesn't faze me. In these forums it's expected, and you know how people can't bear to disappoint ;-)

If you aren't "overly concerned with what strangers think", why did you even ask for our opinions? I guess you only wanted people who shared your opinion to answer your question.

In any case, my answer is that I would have smiled and moved. No big deal. On the other hand, If I was in that guy's situation, I wouldn't have asked someone to move in the middle of their meal.

Not overly concerned with what strangers, in person (not on a forum) think, or strangers on a forum who not only offer an opinion, whatever it might be, but add deliberate snark or a deliberately negative personal comment. Everyone can offer an opinion, which is why I asked. But I'm not obligated to give any importance to responses that are calculated to be rude. Note that I'm not saying I only want people to agree with me, I'm saying that I don't need to concern myself with deliberately rude or deliberately baiting/inflammatory responses. Is that clearer for you?

Reading your last sentence to me makes me think you know a thing or two about snark, yourself.

It just seems strange to me to ask people how they would feel/react in this situation, then turn around and argue with those who say they would react differently than you did.

Cakers1 · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/9/2015 shoptilyadropagain said:
On 3/9/2015 moonchilde said:
On 3/9/2015 shoptilyadropagain said:
If I had noticed the lack of seating when they came in, I would have offered to move down before being asked.

What part of 'there were no empty seats' did you not read above?

I've reread your original post several times and it does not say there were "no empty seats". I understood your original post to mean there was an empty stool or two at the bar and he asked you and another person or two to move down so that the guy and his girlfriend could sit together at stools at the bar.

I agree - now I'm confused. It read that there were 2 empty seats but not next to each other. And then further down it states that seats fill up within 30 seconds.

So my question is - which is it? If the OP was asked to scoot down, then there were 2 seats open. Obviously the man isn't going to ask somebody to scoot down and sit on another person's lap.

${#emotions_dlg.confused1}$

Surfnturf · ‎03-09-2010

I would have felt a flash of annoyance, said sure, and moved. You said you had waited 30 minutes for a booth, and settled for a seat at the counter when one didn't come available. He probably found himself in a similar situation, saw that if people moved down one seat, he and his girlfriend could sit together. That's understandable to me, especially since it wouldn't twke sny time for me to accomodate the request. You mention other restaurants within close proximity to this one, saying he could have chosen another place to eat. Maybe he chose to tough it out there, for the same reason you did. He was hungry and didn't feel like seeking out another place to eat.

abbeythe 8th · ‎04-17-2010

A coffee shop counter is a casual place to eat. Of course I'd slide over to accommodate a couple. It's not like the guy was asking you to change tables or give up your seat.

RainCityGirl · ‎12-16-2012

You know, when I and a companion go to a crowded restaurant, we either turn around and go elsewhere when we can't find seats, or we patiently wait our turn. We don't go bother other diners. I have switched seats on an airplane so that a family of four can sit together, the last time, sending me from the middle of the plane next to my friend to the very back of the plane. The family wasn't trolling the waiting area bothering others; the air line personnel called my name and asked me ahead of time. I would have preferred to sit with my friend, but I understand that kids want to be with their parents on a flight and vice versa. So I willingly moved. I have also shared a table with a stranger in eating establishments where you seat yourself. In foreign travel, the restaurants basicallyI have never been in the middle of a meal and been asked to move. The OP STILL got up and moved, despite her annoyance, so I don't know why some of you here are sniping at her. So it's no big deal to you. She was just asking how others would feel about it. Why the attacks?

Surfnturf · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/9/2015 RainCityGirl said:
You know, when I and a companion go to a crowded restaurant, we either turn around and go elsewhere when we can't find seats, or we patiently wait our turn. We don't go bother other diners. I have switched seats on an airplane so that a family of four can sit together, the last time, sending me from the middle of the plane next to my friend to the very back of the plane. The family wasn't trolling the waiting area bothering others; the air line personnel called my name and asked me ahead of time. I would have preferred to sit with my friend, but I understand that kids want to be with their parents on a flight and vice versa. So I willingly moved. I have also shared a table with a stranger in eating establishments where you seat yourself. In foreign travel, the restaurants basicallyI have never been in the middle of a meal and been asked to move. The OP STILL got up and moved, despite her annoyance, so I don't know why some of you here are sniping at her. So it's no big deal to you. She was just asking how others would feel about it. Why the attacks?

I was not attacking her. I answered the question she posed. Personally, I would not have requested someone move over, especially if they were eating, but if someome made the request to me, I would have felt, but not expressed, annoyance for a split second, quickly got over it, moved over, and would have been fine with it.

RainCityGirl · ‎12-16-2012

I wasn't speaking of anyone in particular. I just noticed some were coming down pretty hard on the OP. I think the OP did exactly what you would have done actually; yet, she is being shamed for her feelings.

kdgn · ‎03-09-2010

When my husband and I have gone to a casual dining spot for breakfast and it's been busy with only counter space available, we sit at the counter if two seats next to each other were open. It wouldn't occur to me to ask someone to slide down a seat regardless of whether they were having a cup of coffee or a full meal in front of them. If the seating arrangement that we wanted wasn't available we waited our turn or found somewhere else to eat.

I have seen wait staff ask others to move but we haven't been asked before.

Depending on my mood I might agree to move down. If wait staff asked me it would be a possibly grumpy yes. It could also be a grumpy I'd rather not. Given this guy's attitude at the beginning I would more than like said no if I was in the grumpy mood myself. Why? Because the person sitting next to me had to move too and I'd bet the counter wasn't washed off between him moving his stuff and me moving mine.

I don't like to inconvenience others just because of my desires.