How does it work in your family?

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I keep reading how everything, in some families, is the mother's choice/fault .That includes any decision others don't like

Raising our children, has always been a joint effort, and my children's father had as much say in the decision making ,as I did

I never assume in any family, every choice that gets made, is down solely to the mother.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

My husband worked the midnight shift and on holidays and weekends. A couple of days a week, he worked doubles.

I pretty much raised our children by myself. He was an excellent father, but he couldn't be here most of the time.

I also made most of the other choices around the house...I shopped alone for furniture, etc.

Our children grew up to be fine adults, so I will take the applause.

My oldest son is married with children. He mostly does everything around the house, except laundry. He even takes his daughter shopping for clothing.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

My husband always worked all the hrs God sent, but, we still discussed things,, and came to a joint decision, over major issues regarding where our children went to school ,and things like that @Carmie

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

I haven't heard that. When growing up, my father made all decisions. I find with my friends and people I know with kids, It's a joint decision.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

We started out making joint decisions, but during my husbands hardest working years, the decision-making for everything, fell to me.

He simply wasn’t here enough to keep up with everything, and when he was home, he did not want to hear details of whatever I had taken care of while he was working.

If we needed furniture, he knew I would buy it thru my Dad at the store where we’d purchased all of our other furniture, vehicles would be inspected by and repaired by our go to car guy, and more than once he came home to find a new vehicle in the driveway for him to see before I bought it. He was always aware of when we needed to trade my vehicle, but he has NEVER in 45 years been involved in choosing the vehicle I drive. Likewise, I don’t normally pick out his trucks either.

To this day, my husband prefers not to be the decision maker. He trusts my judgment, knows how I hate to spend money, and knows I will get the best deal possible.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@cherry My husband hates making decisions. He won't even go in with me to discuss auto, life, home or health insurance.

He offers no input in choosing home furnishings. Can you believe I went car shopping for him? I've done it more than once. I choose the make and model and test drive it. When I am satisfied, he will test drive it again to see,if he likes it, and I will negotiate the deal. He will sign the paperwork and drive it home.

He doesn't want to make any decisions, minor or major. It works for us.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

In our family, most decisions were made by yours truly. My husband worked long hours and often weekends. He was in a highly competitive field and wasn’t around a lot. Even to this day, he defers to my decisions. It worked for us but in retrospect there were times it was difficult.

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

My husband worked a lot of hours when our kids were home, now it seems like he is having to work even more. But, he was always in on any major decisions.

One thing I have realized, speaking with other women is how controlling some husbands can be toward the wives. One friend whose daughter is grown, told me her husband bought all her daughters clothes when she was little. He wanted to be the one to pick them out. As well as their furniture and vehicles. It has really make me appreciate my dh even more. My friend didn't really get to make many decisions, it seems like.

But, @cherry, as far as me and my dh, we always made decisions together. And sometimes we didn't agree and just had to each compromise. It's not all been fun or wine and roses. But, its been good and I have been blessed. We will have been married 34 years in November.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I am dancing around a bit ,trying not to get this poofed @Trinity11 On another thread, I read someone ,blame the mother, even though they don't know her, for a decision they didn't like

I don't think that is fair..

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@cherry wrote:
I am dancing around a bit ,trying not to get this poofed @Trinity11 On another thread, I read someone ,blame the mother, even though they don't know her, for a decision they didn't like

I don't think that is fair..

@cherry It isn’t fair but sometimes you can have two children, growing up in the same home and they see things completely different.

You do your best but most parents make mistakes along the way.