Community Chat

[tansy]

What Preds said. Not being in a relationship is preferable to being in a bad one -- comfortable or not.

[reiki604]

On 2/19/2015 qvc chick said:

Boy, some of the posters here are brutal !! What happened to kindness???

I know I am my own worst enemy- and it is certainly easier to still hang out with him, because we are very comfortable with each other.

Just for the record - everyone is telling me to make new friends and to get a job.

Well, I have a full time job that I enjoy, and I have tons of friends!!

But friends do NOT always take the place of having a relationship with someone. I think we all know that.

My problem is, it is not easy to meet a guy. And I have done all the hobbies, and meet up groups, etc. Nobody is out there. And I am afraid to do the on line dating scene.

So hopefully this explains the situation!!

Until you realize that your happiness does not depend on being in a relationship you will never be happy. There is no guarantee that you will meet someone else but you can develope a relationship with yourself where you can be happy with or without someone else. Your continued emotional dependence on you ex is harming you and stunting your growth. Please go for counseling to learn some tools to be friends and love yourself.

[goodstuff]

On 2/19/2015 qvc chick said:

Boy, some of the posters here are brutal !! What happened to kindness???

I know I am my own worst enemy- and it is certainly easier to still hang out with him, because we are very comfortable with each other.

Just for the record - everyone is telling me to make new friends and to get a job.

Well, I have a full time job that I enjoy, and I have tons of friends!!

But friends do NOT always take the place of having a relationship with someone. I think we all know that.

My problem is, it is not easy to meet a guy. And I have done all the hobbies, and meet up groups, etc. Nobody is out there. And I am afraid to do the on line dating scene.

So hopefully this explains the situation!!

Yes, I think it does explain the situation! You don't believe your life can be fulfilling without a guy in it.......and since you haven't found a new guy, you feel compelled to hang on to whatever you can get from the old one until you do find a new one.

Your question isn't really "How do I get over my ex"; it's "How do I latch on to a new guy so I can feel safe cutting ties with the old one"? My suggestion would be that you work on becoming a person who is secure and fulfilled in yourself and your own interests and friendships, and not so focused on finding a new romance. If you need counseling help to get there, so be it. You'll be much happier and much more ready for new relationships when you are comfortable and confident in yourself.

[straykatz]

On 2/19/2015 qvc chick said:

Boy, some of the posters here are brutal !! What happened to kindness???

I know I am my own worst enemy- and it is certainly easier to still hang out with him, because we are very comfortable with each other.

Just for the record - everyone is telling me to make new friends and to get a job.

Well, I have a full time job that I enjoy, and I have tons of friends!!

But friends do NOT always take the place of having a relationship with someone. I think we all know that.

My problem is, it is not easy to meet a guy. And I have done all the hobbies, and meet up groups, etc. Nobody is out there. And I am afraid to do the on line dating scene.

So hopefully this explains the situation!!

I think you pretty much sum it up yourself...you are not ready to move on...you cling to an ex who cheated on you and has a new girl in his life....there are no other opportunities because you are not emotionally free and open to someone new as long as you keep clinging to the fragments of this relationship - whatever it may be.

Of course it's easy to be with someone you are comfortable with...but are you truly comfortable with sharing him with other women?....ask yourself what do you get out of this relationship with him and if it is enough to make you happy .... if not then I think you already know what you need to do and plenty of others already confirmed you need to distance yourself from this man if you do decide you truly want to move on.

[LilacTree]

On 2/19/2015 madcity411 said:

As Betty White would say "the best way to get over an old boyfriend/husband, is to get under another one"!

Eww . . . that's cringeworthy!

[redhead handbag queen]

Why is it ok to use you when his real girlfriend is busy? Then he is so nice as to make sure you know how great he is to her (flowers, hotel) and yes he did that on purpose, you are fooling yourself if you think otherwise. Why do you think this is all you deserve?

[KittyLouSoutenu]

On 2/19/2015 tansy said:

What Preds said. Not being in a relationship is preferable to being in a bad one -- comfortable or not.

Ain't THAT the truth.

Hanging onto the ex when she's not his #1 priority is just masochistic.

I don't see ""comfort"" here at all. I see misery.

[KittyLouSoutenu]

On 2/19/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 2/19/2015 madcity411 said:

As Betty White would say "the best way to get over an old boyfriend/husband, is to get under another one"!

Eww . . . that's cringeworthy!

And what if you like to be on top?

[tansy]

KittyLou, I'm scratching my head over Soutenu??

[KittyLouSoutenu]

One thing is certain.

You won't meet another man while you're hanging out with your Ex.

Guys aren't going to approach you when you're with another man. They're weird like that.