Community Chat

[RINGER]

I think you need to be compassionate and honest and just say that you think (of course none of us know for sure) that her pet is playing around in heaven with his/her friends.

[bells4me]

A toddler has such a short attention span. Be honest, they will move on quickly.

[LilacTree]

To a three-year-old, I would just say what Bambi's father said to him when his mother was shot and killed by hunters. "Your mother [substitute name] can't be with you anymore."

[Jerz-girl]

My grandaughter is 3 too, and Gianna Marie knows about Heaven. She also knows when we go to Church we are going to God's house...Gianna Marie also knows God & Jesus are in Heaven, in the big blue sky with all the petty white clouds. At the age of 3, we feel Gianna Marie knows just enough about death without disturbing her...this did not happen over night.

Jerz

[mistriTsquirrel]

On 5/26/2014 ktlynam said:

Be accurate and direct. Do not use euphemisms such as "put to sleep,"

Agreed.

When I was a kid, I went to my grandparents' house during a school break. (I didn't want to go, but I was forced to go anyway. You see, I'd had a premonition that something bad was going to happen to my dog, even though she seemed fine before we left...) My aunt and uncle drove me to my grandparents' house (a state away) without giving my premonition a second thought.

Anyway, about a week after I got there, I spoke to my mom on the phone. She said that our dog had been sick, and that "there wasn't anything more they could do for her."

In my young little brain, that didn't register as a way of conveying a death. I thought I would be able to see our dog again, even though she was sick.

My father came to pick me up about a week after that. On our way out of town, we stopped at a grocery store. When we got out of the car, I asked my dad if I could see our dog when we got home. He said, "didn't your mom tell you? She's dead."

I was in shock. I stood in the parking lot even after my dad had gone into the store.

The ride home was difficult. I knew I could not cry in front of my father, or he would criticize or make fun of me for doing so.

It was a bad way to learn that my dog had died.

I wish my mother had told me our dog had died in a more straightforward way. I wound up feeling like she had been disingenuous with me, which didn't help to foster a sense of trust. It was all a misunderstanding, but I didn't see it that way when I was a child.