Re: How do you address Christmas cards to married ... - Page 2

Sister Golden Hair · ‎03-09-2010

@lobstergal wrote:
So even if the person/people the card is going to is an older friend or relative you just put their first and last name?

I couldn't imagine myself doing that because it would seem disrespectful to me to put Me & Mrs before their name. I even address cards to my son and DDIL with Mr & Mrs John Doe.

Maybe I am old school.....who knew

@lobstergal, there is nothing wrong with being old school.

When I grew up, we always addressed cards with Mr and Mrs.

I think a lot of older people wouldn't care but now women want to have their name instead of Mrs.

I have found that it causes less problems to just put both of their names.

lobstergal · ‎12-03-2010

@tucsongal wrote:
I certainly wouldn't scold you, lol, but I would not want to be addressed as "Mrs John Doe". Fortunately it's not an issue for me as I didn't change my name when I got married. I'm a Ms.

I certainly understand that if you didn't change your name, but as far as I know this persson uses her married name....I haven't been told otherwise.

She should have made it known to our family when

they got married that she wants things addressed to them in a certain way if it's an issue for her instead of publicly criticizing everyone in our family that sent them a Christmas card.

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

I'm an English teacher. My cards are addressed the way OP's are. I've never heard of it being "old school." To me it's the proper way to address an envelope! I've never received ANY cards from our friends or family addressed "John and Mary Doe," although we do receive one each year addressed "The John Doe Family."

daisyk · ‎05-20-2011

I think it depends on your recipients. I'm not very old school myself. I didn't take my husbands name when I married him. I do use his last name at times such as dealing with my daughters school and what not. It's just less confusing, but legally his name is not mine.I've never liked the Mrs. John Doe thing though. This is me. Many people are just fine with it. I was sort of surprised though when I went to a wedding recently and they still introduced the couple as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. Even though she took his name I thought they could have said John and Jane Doe. JMO.

daisyk · ‎05-20-2011

@Noel7 wrote:
Mr. & Mrs. John Doe completely negates the woman's identity. Not even her own first name, she is nothing more than an extension of her husband.

That is so half a century ago.

This is exactly how I feel.

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

I think it's a generational thing for many people.

So many women today are professionals: lawyers, MDs, PhDs, or successful in other areas.

Addressing them without acknowledging their identity, making them no more than an extension of a husband is an insult. Really, this issue is decades old, I am surprised it's news to anyone.

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

About the younger set: We've had quite a few weddings this year. We are very close to one bride. I've seen her Christmas cards. Most are addressed the traditional way!

lobstergal · ‎12-03-2010

@Noel7 wrote:
Mr. & Mrs. John Doe completely negates the woman's identity. Not even her own first name, she is nothing more than an extension of her husband.

That is so half a century ago.

I did put both of their first names on the inside of the card. I've been addressing cards the same way all my life without it being an issue, but then again everyone seems to be offended by everything nowadays.

I am widowed now but have always been proud to be Mrs (insert dh's first and last name). That never negated my identity.

DoneTryin · ‎03-09-2010

I avoid the issue altogether by not sending Christmas cards at all. Between Thanksgiving & Christmas I just make a quick personal phone call to everyone who truly matters to me.

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

@lobstergal wrote:

@Noel7 wrote:
Mr. & Mrs. John Doe completely negates the woman's identity. Not even her own first name, she is nothing more than an extension of her husband.

That is so half a century ago.
I did put both of their first names on the inside of the card. I've been addressing cards the same way all my life without it being an issue, but then again everyone seems to be offended by everything nowadays.

I am widowed now but have always been proud to be Mrs (insert dh's first and last name). That never negated my identity.

****************************

Time passes, social practices change. 30, 40, 50 years pass... things don't stay the same. You and I may be comfortable with something we have known all our lives, but others would not.

I go by the recipient and what they would be comfortable with. I would never address a friend of my daughter as Mrs. John Doe.

We have several younger than average regular posters on this board, it would be interesting to know what they think.