Re: How do I politely say this?

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

I wouldn't go around, apologizing for an 'abrasive' employee. Could be construed as 'siding' with that employee........trying to 'cover up' his/her abrasiveness toward one employee (or others), which, again, could be a legal issue.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Why do you want to make a difficult situation worse? What's in it for you? Stay out of it. It really is none of your business.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@ROMARY wrote:
I wouldn't go around, apologizing for an 'abrasive' employee. Could be construed as 'siding' with that employee........trying to 'cover up' his/her abrasiveness toward one employee (or others), which, again, could be a legal issue.

I agree. This isn't a dinner party or a disagreement between friends. It's a work situation.

I also don't think a supervisor should be worried about saying something "politely". The employee who was wrong needs to be reprimanded. Not yelled at, not belittled, but most definitely spoken to. This is not a social situation. A good supervisor should know how to address this firmly and calmly, and shouldn't be worried about being "polite".

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@NYC Susan wrote:
@ROMARY wrote:
I wouldn't go around, apologizing for an 'abrasive' employee. Could be construed as 'siding' with that employee........trying to 'cover up' his/her abrasiveness toward one employee (or others), which, again, could be a legal issue.

I agree. This isn't a dinner party or a disagreement between friends. It's a work situation.

I also don't think a supervisor should be worried about saying something "politely". The employee who was wrong needs to be reprimanded. Not yelled at, not belittled, but most definitely spoken to. This is not a social situation. A good supervisor should know how to address this firmly and calmly, and shouldn't be worried about being "polite".

If OP was the supervisor or manager, she would have said that not that she was "above" them. She's playing word games with that. I am a manager and I could ONLY get involved if the person who received the letter complained and showed me the letter. Then, depending on the contents, I could reprimand the letter writer or if the letter was threatening I would take all this to Human Resources. Threatening a fellow employee is cause for automatic termination and HR would decide if the police should be involved. How does this "above" person even know what's in the letter? If she knows that the writer is such a bad person, wouldn't the person who received the letter know it too? And what would be served by telling her that...since....she got the nasty letter so she pretty knows it now herself...lol It sounds like OP is playing one side against the other. There's always one of those in every group.....

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
@NYC Susan wrote:
@ROMARY wrote:
I wouldn't go around, apologizing for an 'abrasive' employee. Could be construed as 'siding' with that employee........trying to 'cover up' his/her abrasiveness toward one employee (or others), which, again, could be a legal issue.

I agree. This isn't a dinner party or a disagreement between friends. It's a work situation.

I also don't think a supervisor should be worried about saying something "politely". The employee who was wrong needs to be reprimanded. Not yelled at, not belittled, but most definitely spoken to. This is not a social situation. A good supervisor should know how to address this firmly and calmly, and shouldn't be worried about being "polite".

If OP was the supervisor or manager, she would have said that not that she was "above" them. She's playing word games with that. I am a manager and I could ONLY get involved if the person who received the letter complained and showed me the letter. Then, depending on the contents, I could reprimand the letter writer or if the letter was threatening I would take all this to Human Resources. Threatening a fellow employee is cause for automatic termination and HR would decide if the police should be involved. How does this "above" person even know what's in the letter? If she knows that the writer is such a bad person, wouldn't the person who received the letter know it too? And what would be served by telling her that...since....she got the nasty letter so she pretty knows it now herself...lol It sounds like OP is playing one side against the other. There's always one of those in every group.....

Just to be clear, I don't think the OP is the direct supervisor of either of the people involved. If she was, she would have said so. She also doesn't seem as though she's in any kind of management position. I totally agree re "word games".

Her intention might have been good, but it definitely sounds like a MYOB situation to me!

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

@Tink814 No matter what, the sender needs addressed also. If the sender is not under you then you really need to address the situation with whoever is. It can't be ignored and needs documented for future ratings as it appears that this person has and will continue this behavior. If you are a supervisor and not just a worker of equal status to both then you just cannot state that you don't want to deal with her sarcasm or attitude - it's your responsibility to do so. Tell the recipient that the person who sent the emal overstepped and to ignore the email. If you are not the supervisor of either you need to stay out ot it and let whoever is deal with it.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@MyGirlsMom wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:

@MyGirlsMom wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
The OP is not asking about dealing with her coworker, she's asking what to say to the recipient of the email.

@occasionalrain

Again, if she is not the employees Supervisor or Manager, why would it be necessary for her to say something to the recipient of the email?
In post 11 the OP indicates that she has to get involved and I believe her.
***

That's nice but I don't. If the OP was the emailer or email recipient's Supervisor or Manager, she would know how to handle the situation. A new poster with less than 20 posts is having a bit of fun.

A poster who signed up in 2011, and has less than 20 post in those five years.

I agree with @MyGirlsMom, I think we're being played with.

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

@NYC Susan wrote:
@chrystaltree wrote:
@NYC Susan wrote:
@ROMARY wrote:
I wouldn't go around, apologizing for an 'abrasive' employee. Could be construed as 'siding' with that employee........trying to 'cover up' his/her abrasiveness toward one employee (or others), which, again, could be a legal issue.

I agree. This isn't a dinner party or a disagreement between friends. It's a work situation.

I also don't think a supervisor should be worried about saying something "politely". The employee who was wrong needs to be reprimanded. Not yelled at, not belittled, but most definitely spoken to. This is not a social situation. A good supervisor should know how to address this firmly and calmly, and shouldn't be worried about being "polite".

If OP was the supervisor or manager, she would have said that not that she was "above" them. She's playing word games with that. I am a manager and I could ONLY get involved if the person who received the letter complained and showed me the letter. Then, depending on the contents, I could reprimand the letter writer or if the letter was threatening I would take all this to Human Resources. Threatening a fellow employee is cause for automatic termination and HR would decide if the police should be involved. How does this "above" person even know what's in the letter? If she knows that the writer is such a bad person, wouldn't the person who received the letter know it too? And what would be served by telling her that...since....she got the nasty letter so she pretty knows it now herself...lol It sounds like OP is playing one side against the other. There's always one of those in every group.....

Just to be clear, I don't think the OP is the direct supervisor of either of the people involved. If she was, she would have said so. She also doesn't seem as though she's in any kind of management position. I totally agree re "word games".

Her intention might have been good, but it definitely sounds like a MYOB situation to me!

I think if she had good intentions because the recipient brought the letter to her and asked for her help or advice, then she could diplomatically address the issue and that would have been on the spot. I find it odd that she seems to know so much about the letter, it just feels like she and the writer discussed the letter and now she's having second thoughts or something. But regardless, taking her at face value, it's none of her business.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

Why do you need to get involved? It seems like you'd be stirring the pot. This is between the sender and receiver. If the recipient is upset, let him/her take it to his/her boss.

Stray · ‎04-20-2013

If you manage both employees and after a discussion with the recipient, HR should be involved and would handle it if email protocol policies were broken. Only the email incident should be addressed if the recipient wishes to pursue action not descriptives of personality. If a person has a difficult, aggressive and negative demeanor, that should be discussed at evaluation time between manager and employee only and if the behavior interferes with performance and is disruptive in the workplace and continues after private discussions, HR should be involved. Often, people aren't aware of how they behave or are perceived. The employee may have reasons to be negative that you might not be aware of and that might be resolved by a private discussion.