Community Chat

[Vivian]

I'm a retired 66 year old with a 91 year old mother and children in their 40s. My daughter is going through a messy divorce, my brother is having health problems and is trying to deal with his teenage daughter who has serious mental problems. Although I am very concerned about my family, my mother is obsessed with all the family woes. She calls me three times a day and goes over family history incessantly, with all the what-ifs. Mom has osteoarthritis and doesn't get out as much as she'd like, giving her too much time to stew. I haven't told her about another concern, my husband's possibly serious health problems, figuring that if his tests turn out OK, I will have spared Mom more worry. My husband calls me a saint for patiently listening to Mom's incessant laments as well as talking to other family members who call for advice and support. It seems that I have become the family's therapist, helping my daughter, my brother, my mother, and my niece. How can I back off without being insulting?