Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,355
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How are you with small talk?

[ Edited ]

I'm all over the place.  I'm very shy in new situations, but I can also be very outgoing. I worked in a field that really didn't allow me to be shy, which was good for me.


 I just recently moved to a new community so we are all new here, only 7 houses done and occupied so far.  It will take me out of my comfort zone a little to be witty and charming (LOL) and outwardly friendly to everyone in a short amount of time, but I'm determined to do it.  I don't want to just sit here and rot.  I'm determined not to just sit here and rot. 


I'm also a fairly new widow.  The thought of maybe dating again some day after being with my husband for 35 years is just something I can't process right now, on any level.  To be perfectly blunt, people don't even shake hands or hug or blow out candles on a birthday cake right now, especially with strangers. Can you imagine all that and more????  I sure can't.  Run for the hills time. 

And for those great ice-breaking topics, LOL, get that relationship started on a positive note:


Are you vaccinated?

Did you get your booster?

Do you wear a mask?  Your opinion on social distancing?

And, actually an important one for me- what are your political views?



Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,971
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: How are you with small talk?

When all your friends are gone and a few acquaintances are all you see...small talk is all there is!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,572
Registered: ‎11-20-2010

Re: How are you with small talk?

I like talking with people, either just one or in groups.  I am also good with being alone, I can entertain myself quite well - reading, quiet times.


I am social and was always ready to be out and about.  However, now that I have aged -not so much as I'm tired and achy, but my preference would still tend toward social if I felt better.  As I age, I am content to stay at home more.


I have never found it hard to talk to people and am definitely not shy.  Have met many interesting strangers along the way and can gab with friends for hours.  Yesterday went to lunch with DH, we took a neighbor who just lost her husband and another friend I met years ago thru DH that he has been friends with since lst grade.and we become good friends also.  We all had a great time and talked together about 4 hours.  DH is also one who loves to talk to people and for instance when he takes the dog for a walk he can be gone for a couple hours stopping to talk with people and running into friends on the dog trail.


As far as today's way of dating, if I were young I don't think I would like it.  I would much prefer the way it used to be - meeting people in person rather than on a screen (internet dating).  Of course now, I'm not interested in any kind of dating.  Hopefully DH and I will go about the same time - wouldn't want to be without him.   Although when I was young and dating I was very fickle, always looking to see who else may come long.  I guess maybe I was looking to Mr Right?  And it took a few mistakes, but I finally found him and we have been happily together for 44 years.


Well as you can see by my long post, I do like small tallk!



Honored Contributor
Posts: 57,712
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How are you with small talk?

Making small talk just takes practice.  I was always sort of the quiet type until I got a promotion on my job that involved lots of public contact, TV appearances, speeches, and the worst, making small talk with strangers at Chamber of Commerce mixers.  It was painfully difficult at first but I found it became easier with experience.  I saw it as a challenge, discovering something interesting about each person I met.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Super Contributor
Posts: 425
Registered: ‎01-09-2016

Re: How are you with small talk?

Being shy and insecure, I never did well with small talk.


That said, my last few jobs before I retired demanded constant conversation. With those I didn't know,  I usually started with a smile and encouraged others to speak.  The smile was genuine and came easily but my words often didn't come quite as fluidly. I was always myself and tried to always listen to what was said. I think I was a better listener than talker.


Being with family and friends is completely different. I do big talk and small talk and am happy to engage in both.




Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,211
Registered: ‎07-18-2013

Re: How are you with small talk?

I am terrible with small talk and avoid it if at all possible.  Just really like to be quiet and watch what's going on around me.  As for dating:   Wouldn't do even if I were younger since I was very happy alone when I met my husband and things just worked out that way.  

If my dog doesn't like you, neither do I.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,504
Registered: ‎05-27-2015

Re: How are you with small talk?

@qualitygal  I'm pretty good at it now. My last job had me sitting at the front desk. We didn't get many visitors, but I was expected to make comfortable anyone coming in for an interview and to chat them up. We were always interviewing, because we were a rapidly growing company. I did my best to think of interesting things to say and good questions to ask, and the directors would come to me after the interviews to see what I thought of the applicants while they were waiting to go in. When I retired I found out from the people we hired that they were so grateful for my initial chats with them. It made them feel relaxed for the interviews and made them want to work for the company. I was so glad to hear that.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,477
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: How are you with small talk?

@qualitygal wrote:

I'm no good at it any more I think.  LOL.  I prefer quiet.  Crawling back to my den. LOL


Are you good with small talk, can you carry on a conversation without much pain?


How would you do with today's dating?  Could you handle it?




Interesting question.  It really depends on the environment, and if the person is a complete stranger, or we know each other, at least a little.  I have always had a standard list of small talk subjects in my back pocket, ready to go, so I can easily improvise.


Dating is another thing.  I loved being married, and I loved being single.  It was dating that I hated.  LOL

Honored Contributor
Posts: 36,481
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Re: How are you with small talk?

I try to ask a few questions to see if we have a common interest.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,258
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: How are you with small talk?

[ Edited ]

My mother told me that I was  speaking at one year old.  I believe it because I can remember some things that happened when I was very, very young.


I remember getting a ceramic bunny light from the owner of a shop that sold lights.  The man asked my mother my name and I told him myself.  He was impressed.  I was with both of my parents at the time and they both said I was one year old.  The  man's name 

was Mr. Blumenstein. He taught me how to pronounce it.  I remember this man's name because his name was also the name of his store.  I passed by it many times until he passed when I was a teen and the store closed.  I always remembered his kindness.


My DH says I haven't stopped talking since then.


I am good at small talk and at intense conversations.  Many times when we're were on vacation, I would strike up  a conversation with a non English speaking person. 

When our conversation was over, my DH would ask what we talked about.  He was shocked that any communication could even exist between us.


i love communicating with people.  You can learn so much...even with just small talk.