Community Chat

[beach-mom]

Hi @haddon9  - I'm late chiming in, and you've got some good answers, but I would do anything I could to avoid hurting your brother's feelings.

Some have suggested setting it up in another room. That's what I would do.

However, if you do set it up in a room you are in a lot, you might find out you use it more than you think.  

[haddon9]

@beach-mom This is the only realistic possibility for me to keep it.  It won't fit anywhere in the family room but might work in my office which is in a spare bedroom upstairs.  I will ask him if he would like to help me set it up.

Thanks for your thoughts!

[beach-mom]

@haddon9 - I'm glad you're going to keep it. I lost my brother when he had just turned 28, but I remember what a special relationship we had. Not when we were younger of course, but once we were adults we became very close.

He had major parties at his small apartment, which was 1-1/2 hours away from us at the time. He just invited everyone, and people piled in. He asked us to his New Year's Eve party. Of course I dressed up. We got there about an hour early. He met me at the door with a can of Comet and asked me to clean the bathroom! Mom was already in the kitchen working on the food. I was a little perturbed, but I did what he asked. I heard his doorbell before I finished, and thought to myself I hoped no one needed to use the bathroom yet!

We ended up having such a good time, and met friends who would be there for us and help us years later when we had to pack up his apartment in a hurry. 

I would have done anything to keep from hurting his feelings.

Thank you for letting me remember a happy time.  

[Biftu]

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@haddon9 wrote:

I appreciate all replies and it is interesting to see the opinions of others.

I'm still not 100% sure of what I am going to do going forward but I will have to decide within the next few days.

For those of you who would keep it no matter what, would you do the same if a close relative purchased you a new easy chair for your living or family rooms even though you really don't need or want one? 

You might have complimented theirs or someone elses'and they may have assumed that you want one.  It may not be the right color, fabric or you have your room already set up just the way you like it. Or it might just be an eyesore in your room.   However they did it with what appeared to be love & thought and my goodness you will keep it not matter what because you want to spare feelings.  

ETA:  One thing I have definitely learned is in the future to watch what I say!!  I thought I was having a casual conversation....we talked about 70s music, etc and never realized that they thought I would want this!  Got to pay more attention to what I say in the future!

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@haddon9  Yes, I would probably keep the chair given by a close relative especially if you complimented the chair.  If you did you must have liked it.  I'd find some room not often used and put a throw or pillows over it or even have it reappolstered.  And yes, I would want to spare their feelings.  Thoughtful gifts, although not always needed or wanted are given from the heart in good faith.

I have a friend who makes me a knitted scarf ever year.  I knit myself and have more knitted scarfs that I made myself than I could ever wear and yet she takes the time every year and I do wear the ones she made me whenever I see her.  I can see how pleased she is to see me wear it.  Of course it's not a chair!  But still.

[haddon9]

@Biftu Thanks for your thoughts & opinion. 

I also get a lot of things and have over the years that are small like a scarf that I don't want.  Those things are easy to keep or eventually donate.

[Imaoldhippie]

In this case I would keep it.  Buy a inexpensive table that it just fits on and put it in a room you dont use much such as a guest bedroom and put a few albumns with it for decor.

[chrystaltree]

This is a hard one. I think I'd just make it work. I'd find a place to put it. It might throw off my decor and I'd probably never use it except when my relative who gave it to me visited but it was given out of love so I'd graciously accept. Perhaps you'll enjoy some of those albums you have been saving.

[goldensrbest]

I think the gift makes total since,you said you had all those albums, i would be pleased ,find a place for it.

[haddon9]

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@goldensrbest wrote:

I think the gift makes total since,you said you had all those albums, i would be pleased ,find a place for it.

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@goldensrbest However at the time I said that I gave my turntable to my daughter....for a reason.  She wanted it and I just wasn't using it.

The only viable places in the house would be in the spare bedroom or basement.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[haddon9]

I still have to decide on what I'm actually going to do but going forward, I really don't want any more expensive useless gifts!!

It's not easy to say no gifts at all since I exchange with other people at Christmas and we are all together at the same time.  I can say nothing over $50.00 to him.