Holiday Gifts - How to stop? - Page 3

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

My advice is don't address it. Why would you hurt a nice young woman's feelings just because she buys things you don't like or want? That's not just cold, it's mean. We all get gifts like that and we don't care because it is not cliche....it really is the thought that counts. She thinks enough of you to give you gifts, so just be gracious and accept her generosity. You might try putting yourself in her place. How would you feel if someone did that to you?

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@Burnsite wrote:
I may not be in the majority, but to me if someone wants to give a gift, they shouldn't be told not to.

By definitiion, a gift is given _freely_.

You don't have to send one to reciprocate if you don't wish to. If you don't, she may stop if she is politely continuing an exchange.

Well, said! I can't believe some of these responses. I think I was 5 or 6 when I was taught that a polite person never shows displeasure with a gift. It's the height or rudeness and cruel. And to top it off by saying "you need the money more than I need your ugly gifts...lol" Omg! I am speechless...lol

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Burnsite wrote:
I may not be in the majority, but to me if someone wants to give a gift, they shouldn't be told not to.

By definitiion, a gift is given _freely_.

You don't have to send one to reciprocate if you don't wish to. If you don't, she may stop if she is politely continuing an exchange.

I agree with this. Unless I knew someone VERY well and could have the discussion face-to-face, I would tread very carefully. It might be taken as a criticism even when the intent is not that at all.

Lots of people get a great deal of pleasure from giving gifts, shopping for other people, etc. I don't typically buy gifts for a lot of people, but I love finding the perfect thing. This young lady may feel the same way. She may really enjoy giving gifts to people who are special to her.

I'm not saying don't say anything because it really does depend on the personalities of the people involved, how close they are, how well they know each other, etc. I wouldn't go thru her mother for sure. Anything said needs to be said directly to her. In this same situation, I might say something casually when we're actually together, but I'm not sure I would even do that. Especially in this scenario, where the people involved are of different generations. I would worry about appearing to be critical and/or unappreciative of a kind gesture.

gmkb · ‎07-29-2012

I don't believe you should say anything to the girl. She must enjoy and afford the gifts she gives or she would discontinue the practice.

bri20 · ‎03-10-2016

@gmkb wrote:
I don't believe you should say anything to the girl. She must enjoy and afford the gifts she gives or she would discontinue the practice.

I agree...

Daisy Sunflower · ‎10-26-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:

I can't believe some of these responses. I think I was 5 or 6 when I was taught that a polite person never shows displeasure with a gift. It's the height or rudeness and cruel. And to top it off by saying "you need the money more than I need your ugly gifts...lol" Omg! I am speechless...lol

I didn't read that she was going to say that to her. It reminds me of that "telephone" game that kids played...by the time the last person repeats what was said, it's all twisted. LOL

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

I think the op is just concerned for the student, we just decided this morning to stop the christmas,and birthday gifts, a person no longer knows what to get people, most buy what they want.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

A granddaughter....of a friend.

Wonder how this transition started.

It's unusual since they are not related, etc.

pattyc · ‎03-24-2010

sidsmon, my friend and I have been friends since high school. Her daughter is a single Mon with no help at all from the father. Theyhey both have lived with my friend since the grandaugher was born. We give her monetary gifts thru the year for birthday, grades or just because. We are related thru the bond of friendship!

pattyc · ‎03-24-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:

Well, said! I can't believe some of these responses. I think I was 5 or 6 when I was taught that a polite person never shows displeasure with a gift. It's the height or rudeness and cruel. And to top it off by saying "you need the money more than I need your ugly gifts...lol" Omg! I am speechless...lol

Chrystaltree, go back and read my post with your glasses on....I never said anything about showing displeasure with a gift only that there were some gifts I could not use.....(.don't we all feel that at one time or another)...and I would never say that. I'm sure there were gifts I bought her that weren't her taste never to be seen again but that is not what was behind the question..... Also, show me where I said "you need the money more that I need your UGLY gifts......now go find those glasses, go back to the top and please re-read the post.