Community Chat

[sparklestar]

Thank you all for your thoughts. Especially DeLaney and PinkSugar. What you each said made sense. I don't know if this woman was suffering for a while or it was just too much for her to accept. I know she was just put on medication but I guess she made the choice before the medication started to take some effect. The daughter lived clear across the country in another state as she moved their for a job and it's been about a year. I guess when you're not actually physically around a person it would be hard to tell what's going on. I know they were close.

It still brings me to tears and I can't help thinking about it. I feel so sorry for all involved, and now that poor girl is without her mother; especially with Mother's Day coming up.

[RedTop]

My mother's sister committed suicide 28 years ago. She had lost her husband to cancer 2 years prior, and 6 months before her suicide, she had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes after suffering a mild stroke caused from uncontrolled blood sugar. My aunt got her health issue under control and was doing very well physically, but mentally she couldn't handle the diabetes diagnosis. Her mindset about diabetes was based on what she knew from people who suffered with it in the 1950's and 1960's, and she started openly talking of killing herself. My Mom took her sister to see her family doctor; my aunt made her suicide statement to her family doctor. He referred her to a psychiatrist; my aunt made her suicide statement to the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist convinced my aunt to sign herself into a psychiatric treatment center for inpatient treatment, which she agreed to do. She thought she was signing herself in for 2 weeks, but because she had continuously talked about suicide those entire 2 weeks, she actually spent a full month there before being released. The psychiatrists who worked with my aunt at the facility felt she had made such progress, when in reality my aunt felt she was walking around with a horrible disease that was going to kill her, and now she was crazy, because she'd just spent a month in a psychiatric facilty. My aunt killed herself within 4 hours after she got home. As a family, we feel we did everything we possibly could to get our loved one the help she needed. My aunt knew she was loved, and that she had a family that would stand by her through anything. The one thing we could not change was her mindset, and how she chose to see her life at that time, and in the future. In her mind, she was removing herself as a burden to her family. Her decision is a scar that has truly never healed; we have learned to cope with the decision she made, but there is no real peace like we have found after the loss of other loved ones.

[Love my grandkids]

Very sad and bless you for NOT judging the poor woman. God only knows what pain she was in.

[Another new name Sue]

You are hurting for your daughter's friend and because your daughter is hurting. I'm so sorry for this.

[DeLaney]

On 4/30/2014 sparklestar said:

Thank you all for your thoughts. Especially DeLaney and PinkSugar. What you each said made sense. I don't know if this woman was suffering for a while or it was just too much for her to accept. I know she was just put on medication but I guess she made the choice before the medication started to take some effect. The daughter lived clear across the country in another state as she moved their for a job and it's been about a year. I guess when you're not actually physically around a person it would be hard to tell what's going on. I know they were close.

It still brings me to tears and I can't help thinking about it. I feel so sorry for all involved, and now that poor girl is without her mother; especially with Mother's Day coming up.

It is just heartbreaking, sparklestar and I hope this young lady's father will try to be there for her, IF she feels open to that right now. Such a complex mix of pain, anger and confusion for one so young. . . It would *seem* on the surface, that perhaps it was an irrational decision, the mother made in haste, but we can't possibly know. I doubt a note left behind would ease much confusion--certainly not the grief. Most certainly she wouldn't have wanted those who loved her to blame themselves. Very important now for the daughter to develop healthy coping skills and to receive whatever assistance she will need now in accepting her loss.

Hope your own sorrow, as well as your daughter's, feels more manageable soon. Talking it out; crying together--it's all beneficial toward healing.

My prayers are with all touched by this tragedy.